How do I get my wife to uderstand that I want a divorce?

Question

I have told my wife several times that I want a divorce. She will argue back and threaten me. Later on she will be nice and act as if nothing ever happened. I am bound determine to go through with it at first. Then she starts to act nice and I cannot bring myself to go through with it. I know we both are very miserable. We do not sleep in the same room and we rarely talk to each other unless it is her telling me to do this or that or to argue with me.
She has made it where I do not feel comfortable when I am at home. The only thing that brings me happiness are my kids. When I get home from work she has a fit it I sit down and try to relax. She has a fit if I watch any TV. She insists that the kids are not allowed to eat any meat. I am suppose to clean up after her and the kids when I get home. The kids are as old as 16.
I have never been with anyone who is as evil as she is. She lets me know how she hates my family and friends. She is a compulsive liar.

Answer 1

Have you ben reading my divorce judgement?

The only way to get her to understand is to FILE. I have been divorced for 3 years and this sounds very similar to my experience.

DO's

*Get a divorce lawyer that specializes in mens rights.(I do not recommend A.D.A.M, they steered me in a very wrong direction)

*Begin to document in a journal or notebook what goes on with the two of you on a daily basis.

*Open a separate checking account and have your paycheck deposited there. Pay the bills yourself. Have the statement sent to a P.O. Box(open one first of course).

*Collect all your personal/private documents(birth cert, military papers, passport, etc and put them in a safe deposit box(open one first)

*Advise your children what you are going to do and assure them it has nothing to do with them. They should know this if they are as old as you say they are. They see how she treats you.

DONTS

*Move out of the house. She could say you abandoned her and the kids.

*Add to the abuse. Dont shout back or engage in fighting. Swallow your pride and take some of the abuse to lull her into a false sense of security.

*Hesitate - If she gets a whiff that you are filing, she may try to file first. Depending on the state, that could give her certain rights.

*Stay together for this kids. Mine were 3 and 1/12 and it killed me to stay as long as I did, but it is better for them not to see and hear how a loveless marriage carries on.

*Despair - We divorced dads have the best network of help you can imagine. You can always email me for help and support and get your questions answered. It WILL be OK. I cried many a nights. I am happy as can be now, except for not seeing my kids. The world is such a better place knowing there is someone else out there who will love you for who you are and be by your side.

Best Wishes. Keep your chin up. Email me anytime. You need friends at this time more than ever. I will be there for you.

Answer 2

When she gets served with the papers, she won't be able to deny it anymore. What she is doing by being nice to you is manipulating you, and you need to stop letting her do it. You need to see an attorney as soon as possible, and file for divorce. If you don't plan on trying to get the house, then you should find yourself an apartment and move out.

Here's what you do, you need to start preparing to leave without telling her what you are doing. Find an apartment, turn on the utilities, get that all ready to go. Then, find a day when she is away, at work or wherever, and arrange in advance for movers or friends to help you get all of your stuff and move it to your new place. Then, after you are out, inform her that you have moved out and that you will be filing for divorce. By this time your attorney should already have the papers ready and on their way to her.

If you do it this way, then you will avoid the drama and fighting that you would have if you let her know everything you were doing. Then, with your attorney's help, you'll go on from their as far as dividing the assets and figuring out custody.

Whatever you do, you need to hire an attorney, don't cheap out on this! Hiring an attorney will actually save you money in the long run, it will be completely worth the expense.

Answer 3

if you really want the divorce, get the paperwork done by an attorney and have her served. i am sure the kids know you two don't get along and haven't, it sounds like a while. be sure you have an attorney do the paperwork. you want to put in the papers exactly what you want, ie: custody, the house, car, furniture, ect. i would also document the things she says and does, you may need it for court in the future. don't try to turn the kids against her or say anything bad about her to them. it will only make you look bad. keep your cool. in my experience, the person who files paperwork first, generally gets what they want. not always, but generally. if you really want a divorce, hire an attorney and do it. be professional during the entire divorce proceeding, no matter what. let her be the bad guy. i used to work for an attorney, i wouldn't do it without one. good luck.

Answer 4

Since kids are involved, I would hire an attorney and file for divorce. Be careful what you ask for with the kids or you will enter a custody battle. Serve the papers and move out.

Answer 5

Well you just need to go and get the papers. Not trying to be hard but you deserve better than her. If she don't like your family and friends that is her problem not yours. It would be better for you and your kids if you divorce her. You need to learn to live for you and not her. Tell her to clean it herself. You should not have to work all day and then clean up after her. I know that you are going to find someone that will treat you better and talk to you like a human not a dog. If you ever need to talk just email me. I was in your shoes once.

Answer 6

She sounds unhappy and she is making you very unhappy. Ask yourself why that might be? Are you responsible for some of her unhappiness? Perhaps some counseling might help? After some sole searching, if you feel nothing will change, perhaps you should seriously start the divorce process. I hope your kids will be ok.

Answer 7

beloved
No one has a right to tell you what to do with your marriage... thus states in the word" let NO MAN but assunder"
God has to reside in the center of your marriage in order for it to work.... You have to go to the manufactor of marraige because that is the only reference you have for a solid marriage.... Try counseling with your pastor..... If you are set in stone on a divorce.... try serving divorce papers on her. it takes 2 to be married.....also you might try looking fro your own place of residence while this is being done.... it could get ugly
Good luck with that... and God Bless

Answer 8

Get your homework together and prove she's mentally unstable. File for custody of the kids before she does. Then serve her divorce papers.

Answer 9

She sounds like a real B

If you are serious just do it go to a divorce attorney and have her served with divorce papers.

Answer 10

The only way she will not see it as "trash talk" is for you to take action. Which she clearly things your to spineless to follow thourh on.

Let me ask you this? Have you made every effory to repair this marriage? Have you elarned her love language, or her 5 basic needs? If not then I suggest you got some education to start with and find out IF it can be saved or not.

Also try marrital counciling. you might just suprize your self.