Why are indian parents so strict on marriage?

Question

I am worred about my future, with marriage. Indians have arranged marriages, like about 75% these days. My parents and my parents parents had arranged marriages. But I dont want to have them because It would feel weird getting married to a man who is actually like a stranger to a girl. My parents only saw each other once and they never met again until the night of theyre wedding. Isn't that kind of unfair? Dont we need to meet the people our parents are going to marry us too?

I have decided by myself that when I go to college I start dating indian men. I dont want to get married to a complete indian stranger ( by the means of how my parents choose things this guy might be ugly too). So how do you love a arranged man for you? How do you connect? How do you have a honeymoon with this "stranger"?
Can someone please explain why indians have arranged marriages? Can someone please explain to me why we cant let modern civilaztion take over?
Thanks
Nithya

THEY DONT GET MARRIED WHEN THEY ARE 16?! NOWADAYS THATS JUST LUNATIC! WE GET MARRIED WHEN WE ARE DONE WITH COLLEGE AND HAVE JOBS YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO MY PARENTS ARE STRICT ABOUT OTHER RACES! I CANNOT MARRY OTHER RACES ONLY TAMIL/TELUGU PEOPLE ( WHICH I TELL YOU ARE DARK AND UGLY) WHICH IM NOT IM LIGHT SKINNED.

Answer 1

It's all in the matter of Indian Tradition, it's part of your religious beliefs. You honestly do not have to follow it, even though your parents won't agree, there is nothing they can do about it by law if your in the United States. But if your in India.....i don't know. Here in the United States, the Indian families are Americanized & they don't follow the arrange marriages at all. They have relationships like normal people, if they fall in love, the get married, in no way the Indian families here follow such an old arrange marriage tradition, when I ask my Indian friend about it, she laughs at me. Says her parents do not do that to her & that she would rather hang herself then be set up with a total stranger.

Answer 2

Nithya I don't know much about your culture but dating and getting to know a potential husband is your right. I have been married for 17 yrs and marriage is no joke. Even if you think you know the person, they may change towards you. There are no guarantees in life and nothing stays the same. That being said, I think dating during college is an excellent idea, hell why not go to graduate school while you're at it? That means more time to date & more time getting to know various indian guys. I have dated indian guys, they are OK, but most are VERY chauvanistic! So be careful, ask them lots of questions to find out their attitudes about everything. I'm sure your parents will approve of you bringing home a handsome, nice, well educated indian guy (of your choice) one day! Indian parents are into making sure their kids marry people of the "right social and economic status", but you can make those choices yourself. But as I said, people can fall out of good fortune. Good luck babe.

Answer 3

Overide your parents just find a nice guy fall in love and get married. I think these arranged marriages are a joke what if the person is a slob or just a complete idiot would you want to marry someone you do not feel compatible with. I think everyone should be able to find love and marry the person of there choosing. I would tell you parents that even though they had arranged marriages that you will not be a party to this action.

Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

Nithya, you must speak with your parents on how you feel. Let them know that you love them, but you are not feeling their culture, since it looks like you've been brought up in the States. You said you will go to college and start dating Indian men, why don't you try dating outside your race, cause I bet that Indian man, who you are trying to date, is probably already engaged to some other Indian girl.
Explain to your parents how you feel, when you go off to college venture out, and learn about different cultures, and you never know, you might just meet your one and only.

And I don't think your culture is sick.

Answer 5

Wow.....I wish I had advise for you. I think its really important to have "chemisty" with a person you will be spending a lifetime with. Not only do YOU want to find them attractive, you want THEM to find YOU attractive too, and you want to have things in common as well.....

Talk with your parents and share your concerns.

Answer 6

Your culture is sick for allowing their 16 year old daughters to marry any man over the age of 18, with the average being like 33yrs old. That makes you a pedefile in the US and is illegal.