i have a friends (dude) that says he's straight and usually really acts it. but not if its just me and him alone. if its just the two of us he just seems so different. he acts like he's bi, he majorly flirts with me and usually we hug or even cuddle. but then if we're hanging out with other people he just seems to ignore me like that. but i also think that might be because all his other friends use to accuse him of being gay, and he would get really upset about it. so i was always there to make him feel better. but i never liked him, i figured there would be no point since he always says he's straight. but lately he's started being flirtatious with me even with his friends around. and i dont know if its just simple goofing around or if its serious. and if it is serious, how do i go around telling him how i feel. because lately i have been having feelings for him. what should i do and how should i do it?
2007-06-29 06:25:50 · 13 answers · asked by chris w 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
follow your feelings and see where it goes
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2007-07-03 05:34:57 · answer #1 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky...I'm bi myself and when I start to like one of my friends who I think or know is straight I have to judge their mood and kinda time things just right.
What you need to do is in one of those close moments, make it go a little farther or deeper than you have before. Make sure you're alone so if he doesn't like you that no one else knows and you can keep it between the two of you. If he's serious he'll probably enjoy the closeness, if he's just goofing around he'll get out fast.
You said you've helped him feel better before? Tell him that you need some of his advince. Tell him you've been having feelings for another guy...and you've never had them before and you're freakin' out about it. You don't know what it means and you don't know how to tell them. You don't want anyone else to know because they'll start accusing you of being gay when you don't even know if you are or not. His reaction should help you out with where to go after that.
2007-06-29 13:39:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your friend has a revolving door on his closet.
He could very well be Bisexual but in any event he is very afraid of being outed.
Tell him that you don't like the game he is playing (straight on the outside, flirting with you on the inside).
Sit him down - in separate chairs to start with - and ask him plain and simple: Are you gay/bisexual? Do you have an attraction to me?
If you don't get a reasonable answer from him, it may be best to let that friendship cool for a while.
He has to make up his own mind.
2007-06-29 13:32:06 · answer #3 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your friend is trying to come out very slowly and you are the first person he feels comfortable around. You should just ask him How he feels about you, say because i feel you been flirting with me and say i don't care in a bad way, i am just asking, just tell him you don't want him to feel weird around you after you asked him that question. I wish you the best. Don't worry it will be okay.
2007-06-29 13:31:53 · answer #4 · answered by scoopie110 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you're alone with him, tell him that you've been getting mixed messages from him and want to know if he's interested in you as more than just a friend. He may be more willing to open up to you if you're alone together in perhaps a neutral/non-threatening atmosphere like a coffee house or a park, etc.
2007-06-29 13:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend is very confused about his sexuality and is not sure what to do. You could try having a serious conversation with him about it all including your feelings. I would not push him into anything too quickly as it may all backfire.
Or you could just wait and see if he advances more with who he really is.
It's tough, good luck!!!
2007-06-29 13:56:46 · answer #6 · answered by Dan D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your friend is gay/bi and has feelings for you but he might be having a hard time coping with it.
2007-06-29 13:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by heather d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you're gay which i'm assuming you are, when you are alone with ur friend and cuddeling ask, "why are you cuddeling with me?" and if he gets defensive just stay calm and nicely say "well i like cuddeling with you because i really do like you, but all this time you said you were straight, i was wondering if you liked me to?" maybe not precisely in those words but paraphrase. you have a right to knwo if he's toying with your emotions
2007-06-29 13:30:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I could give you a full length answer but I think Sailor courtney said pretty much everything I would have. Good luck buddy.
2007-06-29 13:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's at least bi & in deep denial. The best thing for you to do is to sit down in private with him & have a serious conversation to clear the air. It's time.
2007-06-29 13:29:55 · answer #10 · answered by napqueen 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
next time ur alone...wait, does he know ur gay? cause if he doesnt u better spill before going all lovey dovey on him. anyway, be like "dude, i think i like you." or whatever, if he reacts, go from there, but if he doesnt, lean in to him closer than friends would, coming close to his lips, and then go back to where u were sitting before. do whatever it takes, just get ur point across..*)
2007-06-29 17:10:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋