First I thought it was the pregnancy, she had a very hard one, then I thought it was post partum depression, now that my son is 5 months I think that she just has a horrible attitude period. It seems like I can't do anything right and I'm tired of being the one apologizing, I work full time 12 hour shifts and take of everything financially I don't see why she has any complaints, I always help around the house and with the kids when I'm off, its like there is no romance and every time i try to talk she either ignores me or gets an attitude, we have only had sex in 5 months since my son was born and i feel like theres nothing left for me to be here except pay the bills, am I tripping out or is this how its supposed to be when you are 22 with 2 young kids or should I leave now to prevent digging myself a deeper hole later somebody help me!
2007-06-29 06:07:21 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get some marriage counseling. If she refuses to go, then go by yourself and talk it over with someone before making any big decisions like this.
2007-06-29 06:10:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling should be where you turn to first. That way, if you have to break up the family, you know you tried. No one should ever have to stay for the kids...the kids know when their parents are unhappy whether you fight in front of them or not. My best friend's 2 year old daughter asked my friend and her husband, "Are you and daddy going to fight again since you hate each other." She also was playing dolls and said, "Here you be the mommy, now let's fight."
The kids feel the tension and hear what you don't think they hear. Some kids are better off when their parents are not together. But again, don't jump the gun. Talk to a middle man first. There are free counselors all over the country. Find one in your area or see if your company offers one.
2007-06-29 06:16:57 · answer #2 · answered by kla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try getting some marriage consueling. This is a huge decision. Hopefully this is something that can snap her out of her rut. You know being 22 and being married and having two young children can be depressing. It sucks for you becuase you are paying the price but hang in there but only with consueling. Good Luck!!! You sound like a great guy and I think you guys will be happy just with a little bit of work on both sides.
2007-06-29 06:32:57 · answer #3 · answered by Tia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off it sounds to me like your wife feels like she has given up her life to be a stay at home mom. It sounds to me like she needs a break from the daily grind of motherhood. She is being distant because she doesn't want another baby and she is stressed out. I think if you have come to the conclusion that neither of yopu want more kids then consider telling her your thinking of getting snipped. I applaud you for being a stand up father and husband but realize your wife wants a life out of the house too maybe it is time to consider
her feelings. Ask if she would like to look into a daycare or a babysitter so she could work somewhere part-time for a change of scenery.
I think you need to be open to the aspect that she just wants a break from sex at this moment she is a mother of two and has a newborn. I would not doubt that she is the one that gets up at 2-3 in the mornig all the time with the new baby.
Consider that she is exhausted and the last thing on her mind is sex. Maybe you rushed into kids and everything to fast but now it is your duty to be supportive and loving and to stand by your mate at all times. In good times and bad if you are not married yet maybe she wants a proposal?.
God Bless and Best Wishes
P.S. instead of looking at your lady like your sex toy look at her like a best friend and the mother of your children.
TIME TO GROW-UP YOU HAVE KIDS AND ALL NOW!
Communication is key talk to your lady!
2007-06-29 06:24:49 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying for the kids is never a good idea. You two will be bad role models for your children and they'll grow up to look for the same combative type of relationships. Marriage counseling is always a good way to go. You can find one in most areas that will use a sliding fee scale. If she is not willing to go and work it out with you then the relationship is already over. If she doesn't go, go in yourself anyway. Divorce is much easier to work through when you have someone helping you who understands the dynamics.
2007-06-29 06:22:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please be patient with her - she may still be having some post partum symptoms - a woman's body takes one full year to recover from childbirth. Try and just hold her hand, be kind to her, rub her back or her feet - this is a very difficult time physically & emotionally for a woman - she may not be comfortable with her post childbirth body, and for me sex didn't feel good again until about 7 months after I gave birth.
You are very young, and I assume your wife is young too - try and be friends to each other and support each other.
2007-06-29 06:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by molly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't good for the kids to grow up seeing a bad marriage is what marriage should be. It's too late now and hind sight is 20/20 but you really got married and had kids too young. If the marriage is completely far gone, end it and start healing for the kids. If you can save it, save it. But it's not a good idea to show your kids it's okay to be miserable in what should be a happy and loving marriage.
2007-06-29 06:28:01 · answer #7 · answered by Aquaria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋