Is it wrong not to want to remarry these days after your spouse dies. People said i should.should i?

Question

i loved my husband we were married 32 years don't know if i am really ready to "get" back out there yet. What should i do? Please help me.

Answer 1

You need to listen to your own heart in this aspect of your life. Don't let what other people say get in the way of what you think. I'm sorry for your loss, really. :)

Answer 2

When you are ready, you'll know. You might never be ready because you are talking about 32 years being married, not to mention how long you've truly been together. Your not over him not being here with you, so you will not be comfortable dating anyone yet. Of course, people will tell you to get out there on the dating scene, however, something like this is not easy to get over. Don't hide in your home, though. I think you should go out and have a little bit of fun. There's nothing wrong with that and if you meet someone, then hey, whatever happens happens.

Answer 3

Sorry about your husband, it has to be tough. Some people re-marry very soon after a death of a spouse, I do not think it is good because this was their life-long spouse & partner & it shows a lack of respect or lack of commitment ?? My grandfather passed when my grandmother was middle aged, she never dated or remarried, I respected that. She could never love or be with another person because my grandfather was her husband until she passed. You do not sound ready, you need to wait at least 1 year before you even consider dating or "getting back out there" You need some good single friends, ones who are happy to be single, ones that will be your friends and not encourage you to do something you do not want to do. I hope this helps. Finally, the most important, Please never ever forget your husband, remember your anniversary date, his birthday, where you met, how he smiled,

Answer 4

If your not "ready" to go out then don't. The best thing to do is go out with your girlfriends and if you feel like talking to another man then do so and if you start to feel a little uncomfortable then you have your girlfriends to fall back on to use as an excuse, but there is no reason why you can't go out and have fun. You were married that didn't mean you were blind! Have some fun. He wouldn't want you to be sad all the time he would want you to be happy and enjoy life as long as you can. Be happy and do some things you thought you would have never done while you were married! Lifes and adventure.

Answer 5

My advice would be not to listen to other people, you know whats right for you, never let anyone pressurise you into doing anything, when you are ready to get back out there and only you can decide when, and if you meet someone and it feels right then follow your heart, its your life you shouldn't worry about what others want, or expect of you. I'm sure whatever you decide it will be for the best and that will only be possible when you are ready, and when that day comes i wish you all the luck in the world.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with loving your husband even though he is gone. The only person that will know if you are ready is YOU! 32 years is a long time and not something that anyone would be ready to give up quickly. Be true to yourself and if the time never comes to "get" out there...it's okay to be single to :)

Answer 7

Don't get remarried just because you "should." Get remarried when/if you fall in love again and want to make that lifetime commitment again. You already know that marriage is A LOT of work, if you're only getting married to avoid being alone you know that won't work in the long run. When you are ready to start dating again, your heart will lead you there. Don't rush into it.

Answer 8

If you don't know wether you're ready or not, it probably means not yet. Give it time and enjoy your time alone. Do you have children? This is based on my own experience, if you have children, don't use the death of your husband as an excuse to overly cling on your children, the way my mother in-law does. If it seems without your husband you have no life and all your focus is on your adult or married children, then by all means find a new partner. Believe me, you'll be happy and your children will be happy too.

Answer 9

I am sorry for your loss. First you need to greave. After 32 years you will be in that process for a while. You might want to get counseling, professional, a friend, or a pastor. Even if you are not a church go-er, you might find comfort in speaking to minister. It is 100 percent o.k to say you will never marry again, and I am sure you feel strongly about that decision now, just don't hold onto that thought forever. There will come a day when you realize that it is o.k for you to be interested in another man, and yes to even fall in love. You might not think that now, but don't beat yourself up when it happens.

Answer 10

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss.

Secondly, give yourself time to grieve an then make a decision. If you are not ready now, do not date. However, if down the road you meet a nice man, date him.

There is no rule that says you have to go out and date or remarry. You do what is best for you.

Answer 11

why should you do anything you're not ready to do? other people can't tell you what to do in such a sensitive and personal matter; only you can know when or if you are ready to re-marry. they should honor the love you had for your husband, and let you be. if there is ever a point where your attachment became unhealthy, i might say that your friends would have reason for concern, but as long as you are at peace with your decisions, and you are sure of what you want, then that's ok.