Should I tell him I was offended?

Question

I was talking to a friend who in the same breath as telling me that he was paying off his (very nice) house (among other purchases), told me that I should consider moving into a smaller place (I rent a 2 bedroom) as it is more than I can afford/need. (I can afford it, btw, within a strict budget.) I just found that so hurtful!!

Answer 1

Not only should you tell him that you took offense, you should also dump him. Who wants to hang with a braggart?

Answer 2

Certainly tell him. Be kind though when you do and keep in mind that men are wired differently then woman. He was only trying to see to your well being. I don't think he was trying to offend. Men are hard wired to shelter and protect. Even if it is just a friend. But you are a friend who is female and it might just have spilled over.

When it comes to communication with a man you never really know if what they say is really what they meant to say. My husband has hurt my feelings many times and thankfully I kept my mouth shut and sure enough an hour or a day or a week and one a month later the subject came back up and "wow, that is what he meant!".

Talk to him, tell him how you fell and give him a chance to redeem himself.

Answer 3

Don't get hung up on this remark. You may have misinterpreted his meaning. You said that your budget is strict but you can afford your place. His meaning could have been that you would have an easier time if you paid less for your place.

Admit that you might be a little resentful that he is financially so comfortable while you are not.

You can feel any way you want but I would not go to war over this one. Let it go.

Answer 4

He might of not realized how it came off. I wouldnt take it so personal. If he said all those things with attitude than you can assume that he was putting you down to bring himself up(bragging on himself). If he is normally a good guy he may of said the suggestions in an attempt to get you to realize that you are living above your means and that if you moved you could save money and benefit from the savings, as this seems the case that happened with him.

Answer 5

Yeah, you probably should - just tell him that you appreciate that he cares enough to give you that kind of advice, but it's kind of hurtful, and you keep a strict budget and have no problems affording things.

Answer 6

yes, tell the friend how you feel...Is there more to the story...do you live paycheck to paycheck...late on bills, borrow money from others, eat top ramon noodles everyday. You really didn't provide enough info about the conversation you had with this friend. Anyway, if you felt offended than you should tell the friend how it offended you.

Answer 7

He was just trying to help you not have to live in such a tight budget. Don't be offended. Tell him thank you, but you like the place in which you currently live.

Answer 8

Why would that be hurtful at all? There's nothing there to be hurt about, although your finances aren't really one's business unless you ask for advice from them.

You should've just replied that you're happy where you are and have budgeted to afford your current place, but thanks for his concern.

Answer 9

You can if it's really bugging you. He was probably just trying to be helpful maybe thinking that it was such an obvious solution to what might seem like your problems to him, and that you might have just missed it because of its obviousness.

Answer 10

You should tell him but at the same time maybe he's just looking out for your best interest.
Be good