Moving in together???????

Question

My boyfriend and i just had a baby together and right now we're staying together. However, I've started developing a guilty conscience on how we're living in sin, so i started praying to God about the matter. I approached my boyfriend about it and we've previously talked about marriage even before the baby(unplanned pregnancy) and he's wanting to wait to get married. I told him that our lease is up in Nov. and before moving in together again I want us to do what's right in God's eyes and have his blessing w/ in the marriage arrangement. I expressed it to him just like this. So i told him that either we get married before moving in together again or we're going to have live separately and we can get married until he's ready. He's doesnt seem too fond of that idea because i sense that he has a bad attitude around me(making me feel very uncomfortable around him)and he's been kind of distant emotionally. I love him very much but i love God even more. What do you think?

I would always ask him how does he feel because i sense some tension and he just has a nonchalant attitude about it. he's says whats the rush and im like whats the wait?

Yes your right I did have a baby out of wedlock. people make mistakes(not that my daughter is a mistakes) But God forgives such ones. But it makes it even to ask for his forgiveness when continuously doing what you know is wrong in his eyes. Im trying to make a CHANGE in my life and develop a spiritual relationship w/ God if he recognizes change he will help you along the way if we help ourselves.

Look dont judge me for the wong ive done people dont even look at the fact that im trying to make a change ;people keep dwelling on what i did and how wrong i was in havin baby out of wedlock.Why do you keep reiterating something i already know? And if i do end up being "an unwe d single mother" thats perfectly fine with me as long as he's in my daughter's life Which he will be regardless. Do you know how many single mothers are out there handling their business? That's the difference between imperfect humans and God- God doesnt hold anything youve done before against you.but we as humans do!

Answer 1

I was in your position minus the child. I totally think you are right & you have a right to feel this way. If he loves you like he says it shouldn't be an issue. He seems to have commitment fears & probably feels like you are giving him an ultimatum and doesn't like that..The reason he is acting emotionally distant. I would keep praying about it but at the same time..Just say hey..I notice you've been distant lately & if it's because of the marriage talk..I wasn't trying to offend or upset you..I just want to be right before God & I love you very much & want us to be a family. Since we already are a family & are in a relationship but living married, I'd just like to make it right in the eyes of Christ. I'm not trying to pressure you ((but he'll swear you are))..I just want you to understand where I'm coming from & this means so much to me..Then leave it alone..Let him think it over..If he gets upset & starts acting up..it's because he's not ready..but just approach him and say you just want to talk & be non confrontational..I hope this works for you..I had to let my ex go..We were unequally yoked though! Best wishes!

Answer 2

I don't think you will be moving in together because he's not ready for marriage. If you loved god as much as you say, you would not be in this mess. Now you need to decide what is more important to you and your baby. Having the baby's daddy around and living in sin, or being an unwed single mom with no man around. Either way stop the god stuff, because if you love god as much as you claim, you would not have a baby out of wedlock. Or be living and having sex with a man who is not your husband.

Answer 3

You have to do what feels right, and he should respect you enough to understand, even if he does not agree. The fact that he is unwilling to marry you after previously discussing it, and now has a bad attitude after you expressed your feelings is a huge red flag. If he loves you enough to marry you, then he should love all of you, including the fact that you have such a love for the Lord and want to please him. If he doesn't understand this, then maybe he isn't the right guy for you. Maybe he could go to premarital counseling or classes through a church with you. You wouldn't have to be engaged first, and it could give you both some insight into the relationship.

Answer 4

Wow.. sounds like this guy isnt thinking of being with you long term... no offense.. but come on.. you guys have a kid... why not marry you now?

ON the other hand... that god talk is bologna. You already had a baby out of wedlock (which im not looking down on you for at all.. im just saying.. according to your religion).. whats it really gonna matter if your not married and live together?

You dont want to have to push someone to marry you... thats asking for trouble. clearly he isnt ready. but id definately say you reevaluate your relationship for the sake of your child.

Answer 5

The fact that you now have a child together and he still has no interest in marriage is a bad sign to me. I think it would be the right thing to do unless he does not love you. If he loves you he should be a man and marry you.

Answer 6

Yeah I wouldnt pressure him into marring...because he might feel like he isnt ready and all that crap...I would just let him ask you but while that get your own place...and I understand wanting him to be there...you just had a baby so I know...but he wont realize what he wants until you make him leave...meaning not live with you

Answer 7

Hi there...
I don't think he's ready to get married...So I guess you should start considering moving with your child and considering what is best for you both.

Ask God to protect you and to guide you so you can be a good person and a good mother.

Answer 8

he doesnt want to get married
live with that or move on