What's the biggest illusion you once lived in?

Question

Don't include childhood illusions.

Answer 1

Hi Maddy, this is not a simple question to answer! However, when are any? lol After careful consideration of all I have experienced in life, I must confess my biggest illusion was that every individual had some degree of goodness which redeemed them from their horrid qualities. I use to foolishly believe that if a person possessed any degree of goodness, that that individual could be "reached" and somebody who saw this goodness would be able to help them be better people.

It wasn't ego which was at work within me, quiet the opposite. It was optimism and faith in my fellow human being's. I saw goodness in all people and truly believed that if I treated them with compassion, kindness and understanding that they would treat me the same in return. I also believed that even if they were not able to treat me well in return, that due to their inherent goodness they just had such horrible life experiences which caused them to be distrustful and unkind to others. I believed that if I gave them the opportunity, the time, to see I truly cared for them exactly as they were, for the whole person they were, with both good and bad qualities that they could learn to see the inherent goodness in others too.

I was living in an illusion; the illusion that humans are inherently good, and given the opportunity to experience true compassionate care and understanding that they would rise to the occasion and eventually give back the same.

It actually took many years for me to give up this illusion. I only let it go about seven years ago. Only after I had allowed individuals to use and abuse me. I truly loved these people and had faith they cared for me in return. I made very poor decisions due to this mistaken belief in human nature. It caused a great deal of grief and hurt. Sadly, not only for myself, but my children as well.

I learned that in order to live a peaceful, and equitable life I needed to make much better choices and decisions on whom I allow close to me and my family. I must understand I can not change anybody except myself and my own life style. I learned I can find those who will come close to treating me as I do them as long as I don't look in the bottom of the barrel, so to speak. In other words the saying that birds of a feather flock together, is very true. If I wish to be treated as I treat others then I need to look to my own kind.

By this I do not mean to give up my compassion, not at all. What I mean is I can maintain my compassion and understanding, but from afar, where these broken people can't do me and mine harm. I must be more choosy whom I allow close, as an intimate in my life. I must take care to have bounderies and expectations of fair and equitable treatment if I really wish to receive what I give. I can still see the good in others but not allow those who live by using and abusing others close.

This is the biggest illusion I once lived. I lived it a very long time, much longer than perhaps others may have. It is due to the illusion that the human condition can actually be made better by simple good treatment to those who have been deeply injured in life. This is simply untrue. Only they can make such a change in their lives and until they do they will continue to use and harm those in whom they confuse kindness with weakness and therefore as a mark.

It was the hardest lesson of my life. However, I now am much stronger and a better person for my experience and do not regret any of my mistakes in life. They have made me who I am today, and who I am today is somebody I life very much indeed.

Thank you for another grand question. I wish you a wonderful day and a great holiday season!

Answer 2

That no one in my family would ever hurt me. What a big illusion and joke that was!!! And how naive was I? I have certainly learned some very hard lessons in life. I have also learned to forgive, but not to forget. At least not yet.

Answer 3

i lived in the illusion that someone loved me--he helped to create the illusion--it was amazing--considering the fact he didnt care about me at all............he just wanted money--but the illusion for those 2 weeks was incredible! im over it now and he rcvd no money from me--i snapped out of it just in time!

Answer 4

I'm going to call these two as ties:

1) That we live in a meritocracy - where hard is justly and fairly rewarded.

2) That anything can or even should be "perfect."

Answer 5

I let people convince me that I was crazy for 12 years medications, hospitals, electric shock, therapy. I'm all better now :)

Answer 6

That my life was perfect and so much like a faerie tale.

Answer 7

That I was happily married ..... my husband then decided he preferred men to me .... that kinda took the wind out of my sails..................

Answer 8

God

Answer 9

god