my best friend is married to a girl in boston and he is in the army in iraq, see he wants a divorce and to come back home but his wife wants to follow him where he goes because she doesnt want except that there over problem is she wants to stay with me when she come down. my best friend told me to tell her not come down and tell her she cant stay with me, she hasnt done anything to me and my wife so should i respect my best friend wishes and if i do how do i tell her he doesnt want her with us or should i just let her come and just stay distant?
2007-06-29 03:48:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Jim, my fellow paratrooper buddy! I Would say, I would be even up with both, If both are your friends, I would have to tell them the way it is, be true-full with both of them, they will respect you more! And never take sides.
2007-06-29 04:10:02 · answer #1 · answered by widowmaker157 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from what i've read, it seems like it's YOUR home and if you think it would cause a problem having your friend's wife there, tell her that she's not invited at this time...
"NO" is a word we have to learn to use. if having your friend and his wife there would cause chaos in your home, then you have to learn to say NO.
if your friend comes back from Iraq, he can call her and they can make arrangements to see each other if that is what they want to do.
don't put yourself in the middle by being a "yes man"..... it doesn't seem there is room in your house for all of that turmoil!
You really need to consider you and your wife's comfort. why be uncomfortable in your own home?
take care of YOU.
2007-06-29 10:54:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should remove yourself entirely from this situation. It's not fair that your friend has stuck you in the middle of it.
Bow out gracefully. Tell them both you're removing yourself from the situation because you don't belong in it. His wife will have to find somewhere else to stay, but you can tell your friend you no longer wish to talk about or be an active participant in the situation any longer. Talk to him all you want; just stay away from this topic.
2007-06-29 10:53:49 · answer #3 · answered by *huge sigh* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you let her come stay with you it would be cruel to act "distant" to her. Tell her that her husband does not want her to stay with you and you have to honor his wishes. Then break off any contact with your best friend. Tell him to get his act together, Iraq screwed up his mind. Direct him to the nearest VA hospital for mental help.
2007-06-29 10:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dividing of the friends in a divorce is sometimes necessary.
But it is a shame that they make you choose. They shouldn't be doing that to you. But who do you like more him or her? Who ever you choose now will be the one. So I'd tell them both that you don't want to get stuck in the middle of the divorce therefore they need to discuss it.
2007-06-29 10:56:58 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your best friend that he is putting you in a bad spot and that you dont want to get in the middle. Tell him that your wife wants her to stay and there is nothing you can do about it!
2007-06-29 10:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all love our friends and want to help them when they need it. But sometimes you have to put limits and respect them.
Honesty is vital in all relationships- including friendship.
I think you should talk to your friend and tell him you cannot help him out this time, because you don't want to get caught in the middle of something you have absolutely no part in.
2007-06-29 11:32:59 · answer #7 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont let her come, you barley know her and hes your best friend....if he doesnt want her to come down yet, then dont let her, stand by your friend, and just tell her.....she must of done something to make him want a divorce
2007-06-29 11:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by ~Blondie~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with L .Blame it on the wife .That's one of the reasons we get married
2007-06-29 10:59:34 · answer #9 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋