You read how once people retire they don't know who they are anymore. How is this different from kids having no direct contact with $ all their lives?
For stay-at-home moms & dads, are you OK with making a contribution to your family but not directly to the economy. In other words do you feel you violated the old Protestant work ethic?
For divorced spouses who previously stayed at home, did the marriage dragged on longer because you were afraid to leave without $? Was the outcome fair? What sources of income do you draw now to support yourself?
For women, is $ a scorecard between the sexes aside from the obvious financial benefits?
2007-06-29 03:40:05 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
"The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he/she has attained liberation from the self."
Albert Einstein
2007-06-29 03:56:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was a stay at home mom for many years. I am grateful that I had the opportunity. No one knows my kids like I do. And I didn't have to hear about those important "firsts" from an outside source - you know, first tooth, first steps, first naughty word. Given the amount of work I did raising my 3 boys, I do not feel that I violated anybody's work ethic!
Now that my kids are older, I have a full-time job as a teacher at a small parochial school. I make very little and have no benefits beyond a minimal pension plan. Sometimes I think I'd make more working at McDonald's - esp. if I'd get anything there that resembled a benefit. I consider myself incredibly successful, since I know that I am providing an important service, I have a good relationship with my students, and, above all, I wake up in the morning not regretting that I have to go to work, but actually looking forward to what surprises the day will bring.
2007-06-29 10:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by kati9 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Being a female, I do not use $ to ID my success and identity. Never have. I see so many people who have cash, but no sense of self. I call it the "trash with cash" syndrome. They are going through life like eye candy for visual judgment of others with nothing beyond the epidermis (how many celebs fit that profile, athletes, etc). I think the people who use $ as a scorecard are shallow. And when you ask about divorce and fair...life is not fair, and in any situation where there is a decision that changes something for 2 adults such as that something is not going to be fair for somebody. That is life. It bites, but we have to move on and enjoy what we have instead of dwelling on something. We all have fears that we are not going to be able to sustain ourselves for some reason. We do what we can...I think the work ethic (protestant or otherwise) was a belief to take care of ourselves and not live at the expense of others. Contribution via money or caregiving and nurturing are all part of it. I still feel that is an important aspect of being an adult.
2007-06-29 11:06:02 · answer #3 · answered by rainbowtabby 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how can a stay at home mom NOT contribute to the economy? I mean, do they not pay taxes on what they purchase, just like anyone else? Stay-at-home moms and dads are still consumers, therefore do contribute directly to the economy. And having worked in family law, I did see unfair outcomes for women, due to financial differences. In married households, I think women count on their husbands to be the breadwinner, without the anticipation of anything otherwise (but I'm not saying that is the way every one is). I can't see why money would be anyone's definition of success or who they believe themselves to be, unless they are REALLY narrow minded and very insecure as to who they truly are.
2007-06-29 11:03:12 · answer #4 · answered by LuLu 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Size of paycheck , no.
Identity may be connected with occupation, but the market sets the size of the paycheck - it's outside of personal control.
I'm a SAHM, and I am OK with it. I work to maintain our property value and I make spending decisions which, when combined with other households, contribute to the health of our national economy.
$$ as a scorecard...hmmm...
In terms of employment, I think $ is a scorecard for everyone, regardless of gender. If you work in sales, for example, you earn incentives based on performance. People who work harder and produce greater results receive greater benefits, whether it is a cash bonus, a trip, or a gold watch.
If you mean "I'm a better person because I make more money than you." I think that is purely materialistic and does not fit with my values at all. In fact, it has been my observation that some people who make lots of money are doing unethical things in order to "earn" it. So no, they are NOT better people.
2007-06-29 11:21:47 · answer #5 · answered by not yet 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Although money is the root of all evil, it is very much who we are. Personally, I have gone from broke to well enough rather quickly, and have found doors that I never knew were there. All that I can say is that we all have to try to get some where, and when we stop, we are either dead or retired. Even retired people continue to get more. It's a cycle that never ends, and truly defines us. I hate to sound pretentious, but I think that's life.
2007-06-29 10:54:08 · answer #6 · answered by Frampton 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think your paycheck defines who you are- I would say your job does in itself. Whether your are a lawyer, a scientist, an engineer, a fireman, or a stay at home mom, I figure what you are actually doing defines who you are.
A paycheck probably defines success to a certain extent though. Not identity.
2007-06-29 12:33:37 · answer #7 · answered by Robinson0120 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. If you ever need hospital treatment, count the number of people who come to visit you. More than ten you are doing well, more than fifteen - you are successful - stop complaining.
It's just how things are - men draw their status from their job and it feels like he loses his identity when he retires. I left my second husband because he wouldn't plan for his retirement - who wants a misery around one's kitchen in the quiet sunny years of a woman's life.
2007-06-29 10:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, many work without $$$$$$$$$$$ - imagine that working without getting money in return. I also know there are many who are being coerced into putting their $$$ in places where it barely or possibly never will circulate back into the economy due to family roles being toyed with.
2007-06-29 10:50:43 · answer #9 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. The actual work I put into getting that paycheck is a better definition of my identity.
2007-06-29 17:41:37 · answer #10 · answered by Rio Madeira 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋