Critical problem to an unlucky guy.... Plz advice me...?

Question

I married(arranged) to a girl before two months.First two months we were very happy. I never got a bit doubt on her. She used to take care of me a lot. She was very happy and very close to me in all situations. But one day i saw her chatting with a guy on net and i found that he was her X-boy friend. I got to know that before marriage they behaved like wife and husband by looking at their mails and chats. This chat is continuing after marriage also. I saw in a chat, which they did after marriage that he asking her to come out to have fun and she said she will try to come with out knowing to me. She was telling him that she cannot forget him,she missing him. After all this i couldn't control and complained to her parents and i told them that i cant be with a girl like this. Now my wife and her parents begging me not to do like this. And even my wife begging me now that she never contact him again. Can i trust her? Plz advice me. I am unable to concentrate on a'thng. What to do ??

Answer 1

Just leave her. Tell her to go in for divorce by mutual consent now itself, although the minimum period after which one can proceed for divorce is at least one year from the date of marriage, but in certain cases this period of one year can be condoned by the court on existence of the ground that the case is one of exceptional hardship to the petitioner or of exceptional depravity on the part of the respondent, & in this case her cheating even after her marriage is one of the exceptional case. This should be your stand now itself because if you trust her now & again resume the conjugal relationship with her, there is no guarantee she won't meet this guy again & indulge in such adulterous relationship with him, which is clearly shown by her mail were she says she told him that she will try to come out & meet him without your knowledge & further she admits she cannot forget him & miss him. All such admissions made by her are sufficient evidence to prove her adulterous relationship with him. Just don't listen to her parents pleas or her request as these people will next time will be taking revenge from you after some time by filling criminal complaints under section 498A Indian Penal Code , Dowry Prohibition Act, & the Protection of women from domestic violence Act as & when you find her next time indulging in such acts of adultery as they will have very good excuse next time to say why you had not left her last time if you knew about all her activities & now what ever you complaint against her is nothing but committing mental cruelty against her for extracting more dowry. Mind you this is the modus oprendi of such people nowadays & you'll repent when you get involved in all such criminal matters which are very serious in nature & can take you for free 'Jail Yatra' on government expenses. There is old saying hit the metal rod when its red hot & its now when you have to do so otherwise your becoming weak at this stage makes them all very strong for future action which I told you. Now if you think her parents were not aware of her relationship before marriage with this guy then forget it they knew it but did not approve her marriage with him & selected you for her, she reluctantly agreed to marry you just to keep her parents wishes but continued her relationship with this man, now after her marriage she still wants to continue & will continue in future too so best course is to just leave her now itself & let her go to him & you find another suitable match for yourself.

Answer 2

First, don't think that you are unlucky. Take this as an accident and try to come over it. One fact is there that she has cheated on you. And you also have a proof of it. Just go ahead and take a mutual divorce through courts. No one can guarentee this girl's behaviour in the furure. Just think, what if you would not have known this at present? Naturally their affair would have run further up to that moment when you would have known it in the future. So taking divorce is the right decision. Just try to come over this and start a new life. One more thing, if you want to take divorce, first get her aborted if she's pregnant. Otherwise, this could worsen the situation. Same thing had happened with my friend's son and we got him a divorce and aborted the girl. Why to bring a child to this world who will have to face all the after shocks without any fault of his own? Do not worry, go ahead. You have done nothing wrong and so no need to afraid of any thing. It is very possible that her parents might be knowing about her afair but they would have thought that she will behave properly after marriage.

Answer 3

Just give her another chance,its just 2 months,she is new in a married life,and it is natural for her to try to go back to her unmarried days.Give her some time atleast 2-4 months mores to make her settle down with such a responsible commitment such as marriage.Talk to her and ask her what was their lacking that she had to chat to another guy.Clear the confusions from both sides first.Otherwise later in life you may find that if you had given the relation a little more time it would be better.It is clear that ur wife still has the childish nature that she is just having a boyfriend over the net,chatting and having fun by gossiping.Ask her to take some kind of job or let her interact with your family,so that she gets introduced to this married life and understands he commitments and responsibilities.After love and marriage is about sharing understanding and forgiving.

Answer 4

hello black s,
no doubt d whole thing looks very hurting from ur point of view , its realy hurting 2 but i feel dont take any decision in hurry as these r very delicate matters and should be solved very delicately n without harming own and others respect
another thing when we get hurt our immidiate reaction is of taking revange or hurting other person , but if u hold ur self and think other way ,u feel she was quite happy after ur marriage ,that means she is involved with u. she is now begging means she has ralised her mistake , u find out if u can forgive her and if she willbe honest to u here after that woould be the best solution to this problem i feel .
chating always need not be some physical or miind involvement always . some times being lonely aperson can chat to any unknown person so dont consider it as a sin
so talk to her as well as her parents . n then decide .
dont ever loose ur own concentration as it may lead to another problem .never consider urself unlucky as .its -ve feeling .

Answer 5

Oh very sorry to know this. I would rather recommend you to collect all the evidence against your wife proving that she has an affair. If she had not contacted that boy after marriage, then it would be said that she has changed but she kept all her morals away after marriage also and tried to deceive you. In this case you should soon collect all important information about her boyfriend and her as an evidence bcoz if she succedes in destroying them then she can never be accused of anything legally.
I know its a tough decision but if you forgive her, who would gurantee her behaviour.
That was my opinion, hope you find a good solution for your problem.

Answer 6

see i feel u r taking it in wrong manner. i mean u took it as if they were out before. they could be good friends. u know best way to make a person trustworthy is to trust him and to make him distrustworthy is to distrust him. see if she might love him as a husband she would have never given that love to you. for 2 months if you were going fine then whats the problem. is that she has ever refused for lovemaking to you. if no it means she loves you.you are also right at your place as when we love someone we get possesive.
see i believe we must love in a manner which iam going to narrate.
a sparrow was in love with a white rose... one fine day this sparrow proposed the white rose.. the white rose told when he turns red he'll love her.. sparrow tears her body and slowly spreads her blood on the white rose and it turns red and fell in love but the sparrow is no more. this is love...
marrige is a commitment of two lifes. although iam single yet i have seen my parents my relatives. please accept her. she is right at her place, think 10 times before you take any decisions as two of yours life is there
see even if she loved him once now u try 2 give her so much love that she forgets him and then only u r there in her life. best of luck
i hope u will accept her.

Answer 7

You seem not to have any choice but to rely on words when she promises not to contact her x again. A better course is to take her along with you to meet a marriage counsellor. The counsellor will be in position to make her see the futility of the past spoiling the present and future.

Answer 8

Dear Friend

I well known ur situation.
First stop saying that u are an unlucky guy.
Please convey ur points to her softly.
And also convey ur love to her in smooth way.
Just try to stop the chatting between ur wife and that X.
Dont try to get divorce from her.
U should wait for some...
In all the ways she is not helping you, just leave her and take care of the heart which cares u...

I mean
Love those who loves u...

Wishes for ur happy life
Ammu

Answer 9

As you said, this was an arranged marriage....no love or relationship involved between you prior so you can't expect that she would not have had a love interest. However, she agreed to your contract and that is all it is....now you have to try to get a love interest between the two of you if that is possible. So court her as you would anyone you wished to date or marry.

Answer 10

I understand your problem If your wife is don't forget her X boy friend after marriage she never can't forget her x boyfriend. you can be leave her. If you have more love on her you take some time living with her.

Answer 11

hey...i cumpltly undrstan hw u mus b feelin on bein cheated in dis way.. its really outrageous on hr part 2 hav dun sumtin lyk dis 2 sucha honest husband.. i think d best ting u can du is 2 talk out tings wid her..calmy !!! its nt wrong dat she had a bf n nw she's been married 2 sum1els..its nt may be her fault...bt wts wrong is dat she 's cheated u !!! she shud hav told u b4 abt him...bt i guess she myt hv been scared of losing u !!! bt if u say dat she's been writin such stuffs 2 him..then there certainly needs sumting 2 b done abt dis.. no amount of beggin is acceptd i think.. u did d rite ting !! y shud u suffer !!! i wud suggest u nt 2 tak her bak into ur lyf !!! i knw it'll b difficult 4 sumtym..bt it'll be 4 ur gud..al d best !!!