My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We're both 21. We have a beautiful new baby boy together and he still won't propose! Everytime I try to talk to him about it, he won't answer me and he'll change the subject or leave. How can I get my message through to him? And please don't say, "Just tell him."
2007-06-28 21:41:26 · 28 answers · asked by ஐღKellyღஐ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
After four years together and a child, what do you think is holding him back? Does he have a good job? Does he take care of the support of you and your child? What do you think he feels he will lose if he proposes to you and you get married? Does he like to spend a lot of time with his friends? Is he attentive to you? How is your relationship besides the fact that you are ready for marriage, and he seems to not be? I am trying to get behind why he hasn't. Because maybe solving that question will get the answer you need here.
I am pretty sure he knows what you want. You have broached the subject, and he has buzzed right past it. There is a reason for that. You obviously don't want to just say "Hey, I want to get married." But you already have a child together. You want this. If you are going to be together forever, you should be able to tell him your wants, and he should be able to listen. You guys have to communicate. I'd start by pointing out that when you bring up marriage, he runs for the hills, and ask him why that is.
2007-06-28 21:52:37 · answer #1 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it doesn't sound like he wants to. Don't push it or you'll be in a marriage that only one of you wants. You are both very young. He is 21 (drinking age is a big deal many time for guys) and he may feel if he gets married that's it for him...that having a wife will mean no going out with the boys. At that age I don't think many guys view marriage as a good thing, they see it as stereotypically the ball and chain. Don't put pressure on him. A marriage proposal comes best when it comes from his heart, not your pressure. That will only drive him away. As long as he is true to you and a good boyfriend and father that is what is most important.
2007-06-29 05:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by brat789456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then it doesn't sound like he comes from good parents. Because my parents would have had me marry you already! Unless his parents and he doesn't want to get tied down to you because he has reservations about your personality. Maybe he's afraid to tell you he doesn't want to be with you and is only hanging around so you don't sue him for child support. I'm thinking you're probably aware that could be the case. To which I would recommend you keep him close to you (keep your friends close, but your enemies closer). And tell him you are broke and that he should support the baby more. Therefore make a budget with all the things you need for the baby. Put it on paper so he can read it. Then use that budget to alieviate your end of the financial burden. And use that new found money to start paying off a lawyer to sue this little punk for child support later when he tries to bail out.
2007-06-29 04:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by Spirit-X 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both are very young. And personally you should have waited to have a child and get married. He feels that having a child is not a reason to get married. HAving his message get through to him means that you want him to agree with you. And he doesn't. You have given your boyfriend that you should have given to your husband. You got the order wrong. You made the bed now you have to lay in it. The question is will you be laying in the bed alone or with a companion.
2007-06-29 05:28:40 · answer #4 · answered by Esoteric 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's already got the message. He's already given you his answer in an immature way. He knows you want to be married. You know he knows. I'm sorry. You also know he doesn't want to be married. Now, you need to figure out what you want out of a partner .... someone who wants the things you want and is willing to commit to a lifetime union, or someone who simply dabbles at "playing" married and is "playing" at being a family ?? I think you know this answer too. You will have to find the courage to extricate yourself from this if you want to eventually have a fulfilling marriage with a man who truly wants to be with you.
2007-06-29 05:09:19 · answer #5 · answered by naniannie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do with a guy like that is convince yourself that he is thinking of a romantic place and time of year to purpose always think it is about a month out and then you will stop applying the pressure that women naturally apply on a man and hell finally do it .
2007-06-29 04:46:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do u feel like u have to be married? Sounds like to me you have both man and child. The papers doesn't hold a marriage together. I say just lighten up on the poor guy and enjoy him before its to late. Hey he is still around isn't he ? so lets thank God for what we do have
2007-06-29 05:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by Linda F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious he doesn't want to get married - and isn't a stand-up dude or he would have married you as soon as he found out you were pregnant. Just stop making mistakes, would you.... and don't bring another baby into an unmarried relationship.
2007-06-29 07:28:23 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why buy the cow when he gets the milk for free. You already told him... He doe's not want to marry you!
So what you want us to give you a magic spell that makes him fall in love and marry you! Stop getting walked on Girl! or is that what loving your man has been about!
2007-06-29 04:46:42 · answer #9 · answered by maddogcrog 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he wont leave him and go to courst for child support threatening is not a good way to get married he will resent you the rest of your short lived marriage basically find someone who does want you and will marry you and just get the $ for your baby so your can provide for it and send it to college and whatnot
2007-06-29 04:52:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋