But while we were dating I found out he was staying with her. He came clean and told me everything.I thought I could deal with it,but I can't.When he goes to get his kids I go with him.He wants to go and visit them when he gets off work.I have a problem with that. I just have a problems dealing with all of it. What do I do?
2007-06-28 20:34:06 · 9 answers · asked by deidre p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well honey, you thought you could deal with it and now you find you cant. This is ok. You have the right to think something and feel something else after the fact. You are allowed to make changes that better suit you. Do not deny yourself that right. Otherwise you will get old quick by living something you cant live up too. Tell him how you feel and if he wont work around it then begin evaluating this relationship.
2007-06-28 21:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really wants to correct the situation the visitation should be at your home, you are part of his life and his childs and you two should be enjoying that time, ya maybe once in awhile he could visit there but dont let him make it a habit, and my question is why was he staying there, financial reasons or because they wanted to work on there relationship? if its the latter then why did he get married and why wasnt he upfront with you while you were dating?
2007-06-28 22:34:58 · answer #2 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really wanna spend the rest of your life like this? Tell him you don't trust him and he's the one who cosed it. Tell him to prove that you can trust him and don't freak out cause as a matter of a fact if he wanted to cheat he'd do it anyway, you just have to decide if it's worth building up trust once ruined and and hurting if it's not easy
2007-06-28 20:45:03 · answer #3 · answered by Mag 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i was engaged with a divorce man, i had the same issue. since i don't have any kid, i though i could handle it, until she tried to give me some much drama. it was a huge problem. she even called at 3am and yield at me. it was awful. when we came and picked up his son, she just scramed and went crazy. i did nothing since his son was present. i really don't want to argue in front of the baby. then, i just left and waited him somewhere.
i asked mysefl that either i have accept the fact that he has a son with a baby mother's drama, and this problem will stay with me for rest of my life, and wonder myself if i can handle it. then, i made a decision that i loved him, but there is not space for me. i come second all the time, and his baby's mother can do and yield at me. i really hated it, and i could not handle it anymore. so, she won because i left him. rememebr, they ahve a son together, and you never can have place for yourself, even he loves you the most. it won't change the fact that you are second on his life. child and his child's mother coem first. so, i decided to leave for good.
for your situation, you should able to handle it, since he sees his son. but if his ex wants him back, you jsut ahve to watch up. i think you should just ask him to take his son to your place and drop him off later. it can aviod the issue.
good luck. i have no energy to dealw ith my ex, but i hope you havea positive thinking with them.
2007-06-28 20:46:48 · answer #4 · answered by Tracy But 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should come first with your husband, talk, agree on times to visit his kids. Time of day, day of week etc. Its good to go with him, then ex wife can't start anything, gossip or otherwise. You knew he had kids when you married him, deal with it.
2007-06-28 20:42:44 · answer #5 · answered by Don D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically you have to decide if you trust him. If you do, then let him go see his kids without the chaperone, or the accusatory attitude. If you don't trust him, then you have to decide if you can live with it. If not....
2007-06-28 20:43:33 · answer #6 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't learn to trust him your marriage isn't going to last. All I can tell you is to seek counseling for you trust issues.
2007-06-28 21:50:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably still in love with his babiesmomma, and still hoping to have a family life with her, i say move on, get your own history rolling....sorry.
2007-06-28 20:43:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like they like a little booty call!
2007-06-28 20:42:38 · answer #9 · answered by kiphyn b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋