Fraudulant Credit card charges by spoiled rotten daughter?

Question

I check my credit card statement to find out my 19 year old daughter, who I am supporting through college, has charged on my Visa $600 worth of luxury items, without my or my wife's permission. This has got me really ticked off. Yes, she is spoiled, but I don't expect her to commit acts of credit card theft like this. I am thinking maybe it would be good to dish her some tough love and actually press charges. The police would come and she would have a criminal record, but maybe in the long run, this might turn out to have been the right thing for her. What do you think? Only parents who have had a similar experience answer, please.

Answer 1

I'm an attorney, depending on the state, some consider it a felony if the "fraud" is over $200.00 - so she could possibly face jailtime. They are cracking down hard on identity theft and credit card fraud. So you may want to rethink your strategy for dealing with this. You can destroy your daughter's future with an angry decision.

Now if the credit card has her name on it, but is attached to YOUR account - that isn't fraud. By authorizing the card to her, you authorize any charges that go along with it.

My suggestion to you is if she has a card that is for emergencies only, you replace the one she has with a secured credit card attached to a savings account - and leave the balance at $250.

Answer 2

I have never had a cerdit card used. But I have had moneu taken out of my wallet by my teenaged son. Stealing is stealing. We scared him to death by telling him that someone had taken the money and the police were coming over to get a detective involved. He spilt the beans. He was grounded and had to work off the money.
I understand that she commited a serious crime. You also understand she is spoiled. 2 Things that really do not go together. Yet, you are deciding if it is a good idea to press charges. I do not think it is and here is why.

Lets look at the future. 4-5 years from now has her degree and is trying to get a job. They run a background check on her and it will show she commited this crime. She may not get hired depending on the type of work she is doing. She will blame you and you then will feel bad and think you have to give her hand outs to survive. Every time she is upset she will remind you how you pressed charges. It will be something that will hang over your head and you will feel guilt over it, because she will make you feel guilty.

You best bet would be tell her that someone had gotten a hold of the credit card number and charged the card. That you may have to close the account. Have her name taken off the account and/or tell her that the card doesnt work because you had to cancelled because of the fraud. That the bank is also investigating to find the person. Hopefully she will come clean and tell you she did it. Then tell her how upset you are and close the account and/or have her name taken off the account.

Answer 3

Take away the credit card and get a refillable visa gift card. Allow her so much per month on the card and no more. She will learn how to budget or go hungry.
I wouldn't call the police because you and your wife have allowed her to be spoiled and expect this kind of largesse.

And I would tell her the rules about money quite clearly, and let her know she owes you the $600.00 to be paid back out of her allowance on the refillable card.

Make sure you contact your credit card companies and either change the account numbers or put strict user only limits on them. She obviously has the numbers.

It is never too late teach responsibility- just do it with love. And be aware of your own fault in the matter.

Answer 4

I think the criminal record thing is a bit harsh. This is your daughter.

First off, if she's spoiled, it's your fault as parents. Secondly, do you want to give a 19 year old a permanent record.

I'd suggest that you make every effort to lock her out of your finances. Explain to her that this is her one free shot. Return everything you can. And tell her that if she does it again, you'll call the cops. Keep control of your money. If she seriously screws up again, you can just cut her loose and let her learn fast and hard what it takes to earn that money.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I myself would make her pay it off cent for cent. I would sit her down and tell her what her options are. Police record or paying back every single Penny with interest.
Give her a time frame and make a contract (not verbal, written)
If she doesn't pay back, take her to small claims court.

Hoping she'll choose the contract and paying back. To have a police record at her age could cause complications after college...hence getting a job and not living off you.

Best wishes

Answer 6

I agree with you. It's a very hard decision to make but if you do nothing about it - then it's telling her that even though you might have been angry about it, there really wasn't any consequence, and you run the risk of it happening again and again and again.

If she did this to anyone else outside of the family, there would be charges laid without hesitation - it makes it even worse to do something to family members that you'd think twice about doing to someone else.

It seems like to me, that she did it because firstly she thought she could, and get away with it and secondly because she really doesn't fear anything being done about it.

Even if you cannot bring yourself to do it - make sure she pays back every single cent.

Answer 7

3 words dude: STOP SPOILING HER!!!, My son did the same thing, he charged $4,500 on my card and I had him arrested, pressed charges, and had his *** sent to jail, then he got it from me when he got out. tought him one hell of a lesson, or if you don't want to go that direction you could let her walk all over you for the rest of your lives. Do something, because if you don't, it will happen again & again.