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I am a student from india here at USa ..i.
# differences b/w ind and USA
#Love
:)
back home LOVE is treated like Loss Of Valuable Education
there you people cannot even imagine how much the peers compete with you in everything

What you see is Life which needs to be earned using all your mind skills
so since childhood everyone face these challenges back home in india so people ar less respected if they do romance or fall in love...practically love and edu dont match atleast in india :) but in USA love is very imp
# so the result is
unecessary pressure on ar minds to get some gf in a place where girls dont understand ar accent (comm is very important as far as i know to get a girl)
so desis or indians whatever (inspite of extraordinary flirting skills) become dumbheads here. :) added to that homesickness ,lack of spice food , no desi girls

what should i do?
i know i will be at successful in my career(note that indians are wealthiest minority)
but at what cost ?
no love life!

2007-06-28 19:00:47 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science Psychology

10 answers

There is no reason why you can`t have both (sucess and love). Yes, both of them take a lot of time and energy so once you obtain one, you can work on the other.

As far as learning to communicate and finding your nitche in the USA, maybe that is something you need to focus on right now..you will find love later. Of course, if that right Desi girl walks into your life with the spices you so crave...the sucessful career part may have to be put on hold for a little while!

2007-06-28 19:13:37 · answer #1 · answered by Smiley 6 · 1 0

My wife and are good friends with a young Indian couple - he is a brilliant engineer, a Zoroastrian, who is a marriage arranged by their parents. As far as I can see, the couple, who have two young children, care very much for each other. They seem to thrive in this society.

Competition is very much a part of American culture. We see marriage as the result of a love relationship - in India it appears that love follows marriage, rather than precedes it. Considering the divorce rate in America, I can't say which is better for the overall long-term happiness of the couple.

You apparently feel out of place at the moment in our culture. As a student I assume you haven't been here very long. Is there no Indian community where you live that would provide you with familiar company? Activities popular with other of your countrymen around your college? Have you tried connecting with others through the Internet?

Even though it might feel like it to you now, a love life is not all-important. If your are successful at your studies, you will have the basic tools for building a satisfying and fulfilled life after graduation. With the world becoming ever more flat, you can take these tools back with you to your home country and be successful and comfortable there.

2007-07-04 06:30:15 · answer #2 · answered by michael h 2 · 0 0

There's enough love for everyone. Decide where you want to live, where you want to be a citizen, and start to build your life. Hey, why should there be a lack of spice food in America, I think not. And, there are Indian girls in America, just look around you. And there are pockets of Indians here and there as well, not everyone assimilates. I can understand you would be homesick for way of life or for your parents and close family but earn a good living and you can take vacations back home just as we Americans do when we don't live at home anymore. So take some courses and meet a woman if that's what you want.

2007-07-05 08:56:54 · answer #3 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0 0

Everyone has problems of this nature. The word "love" as it gets used in so many forms to mean some type of feeling like fulfillment in the empathy for another is in a way also the elimination of other feelings and can be a weakness. In fact love can be the sickest weakness any human can experience. So to apply some rationality where insight and knowledge can help avoid the weakness for love blinding one beyond the point of reparation of some itinerant mind game.

2007-06-28 19:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by JORGE N 7 · 0 0

Love does not happen when you want it to happen. Whether love comes into your life by you meeting her or by your parents introducing you to her, does it matter?

You need to decide what is more important to you when it comes to love. Is your goal to make your parents/family happy and stick beside the tradition of having your life partner picked out for you or is your goal to find the life partner on your own through your own experiences? When desis first come to this country they do feel a pull from the American culture and way of life so you need to figure out what makes you happy, the American way or the desi way. There are so many desis here in America, try to connect with a cultural group in your city. If not, surf the web, there are desi chat groups you could join. Do you go to church or temple or masjid? That is a great place to meet other desi families and eligable desi women (as well as helping to rejuvinate your faith).

Something desis are known for . . . living to please others, always being concerned about what other people will think or say. IF this is an issue for you, you will be happier to just focus on your studies now and let your parents/family find your life partner for you.

I have desi friends who married for love and I have desi friends who married through arrangement - there are failures in both groups. However, there are more successes than not and it is on both sides.

Desi men are always ready to give 100% of themselves to their studies and to the job and the pursuit of a BIG bank account. If you are willing to give 100% of yourself for your relationship then you will have love in your life - whether you found her or your parents found her for you.

I wish you the best of luck in your studies & in the pursuit of love - from a desi woman in USA who married for love and wouldn't change a thing!

2007-07-06 05:26:23 · answer #5 · answered by desi girl 2 · 0 0

Just coz u have no love life there doesn't mean ur not gonna get anyone in ur life! Take some time..things don't always work out at the right time u want. U get successful, girls will like u for it. So, wait n see!

2007-06-28 19:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by K.P. 3 · 1 0

If you follow the indian tradition (as you described it) then you will become successful in your career at the expense of your love life...yes.

Bonus however, if you are wildly successful in your career and make ungodly amounts of U.S. cash, your love life will we quite successful. I almost guarantee it.

2007-06-28 19:24:27 · answer #7 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0 0

What do you want? Love or money? One will not get you the other. Having both is a quest, where the true reward is the journey.

2007-07-06 16:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by Gobyknows 5 · 0 0

love is a beautiful thing but making money is more important,become a good worker and see if you earned a lot of many,you will get all the girls ;)

2007-06-28 19:10:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

What is the point of being hugely successful and being filthy rich if you have no one to share it with. Real love is priceless

2007-06-28 19:07:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

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