Is this word offensive to gay people?

Question

The word "gaydar"? Up until a few days ago, I never knew that the word Lifestyle was offensive, so is gaydar offensive too? I hear that word alot more than lifestyle

Let me say for the record that I do NOT think that being gay is a choice. I know you are born gay just like some are born straight

Answer 1

No that word is not offensive -- It basically means having a sixth sense about which men are gay and which aren’t.

Answer 2

I don't see how anyone can find that offensive. 'Gaydar' (for those who don't know) is the uncanny sense one has for another gay person. Sometimes straight people - I'd imagine particularly straight women - can have the sense too.

For me, the reason 'lifestyle' is offensive is its implication. To say that being gay is a 'lifestyle' implies that it is something that was casually chosen, like a new shirt or an entree at a restaurant. This same thing implies, conversely, that it should be just as easy to 'choose' a different 'lifestyle.' Now, there are a lot of things about gay culture that springs up in major cities that are, indeed, lifestyle choices. Certain style of fashion, or music. But these outward expressions and choices shouldn't and can't be confused with what is going on with the inner person. That is, a guy can decide to wear a conservative suit rather than tight-fitting clubwear, but if he's gay nothing inside has changed.

Terms are offensive depending on how they are used. It used to be that the word 'queer' was derogatory. But, in a move to claim back a certain amount of power, a lot of lesbian and gay people have embraced the term. 'Queer Culture' or 'Queer Cinema' is no longer seen as a bad thing.

Other words are dicier. Some gay guys will go around calling each other f*ggot. I, personally, don't do that and don't like it when someone calls me that, even in jest. It's particularly bristling when a straight person says it, even if the intention is to amuse, or to appear to be 'with it.' Case in point: a bunch of us would go to a restaurant after our Monday rehearsals. Our most frequent waiter was a young straight guy named Daniel. We liked him and he liked us, and we had an easy repartee going every time we came in. But one night when we sat down he came up to the table and said, "I was wondering when you f*gs were going to come in." You could feel the chill descend upon the table. He meant it in the friendliest way possible, but it just didn't sit well.

But I wouldn't worry about 'gaydar.' It's a made-up word anyway, one that is often used in jest.

Answer 3

No lifestyle and gaydar are not offensive to me. They are words that used in the wrong context could be seen as offensive. For example if used in a patronising or 'looking down' on a person kind of way. To be honest with you sometimes people use words in order to try and seperate a 'gay' person from a 'straight' in order to make the 'gay' person appear less 'normal' and more 'different' from the percieved 'acceptable' way of life. That is what I find offensive. People who stubbornly and ignorantly choose to seperate a 'gay' person purely on the grounds of their chosen sexual or intimate attraction.

Therefore the short answer is I don't find the word in itself offensive, just the way in which it can all to often be used.

Answer 4

Oh for heavens sake. It's going to get so that everything is offensive. Most of the Old Guard here knows that I'm all for standing up for one's self but let's not nitpick.
Berkley Breathed, the creator of "Bloom County" and "Opus" came up with the word "offensensitivity". It was born in a cartoon where people were offended by each other to the point where everything became an offense -- I have the book in a box, so I could reference it if asked.
Shall we just back off of the offense and treat each other kindly and like Human beings. That would be nice.

Answer 5

A gaydar, or: Gay Apparatus "Y" sequencer with Delayed Amplitude Radiation is an acutal machine that the government uses to detect and track all gay men and women in this country.

Information is then uploaded to the HOMO, or HOMe Office where ANALyists study this data and decide what the best approach is for security and traffic control during the next big gay pride march and parade festival.

Without this information these events would be plauged by understaffed police departments, mismanaged traffic control in the area and too few government sponsored lunch wagons.

Answer 6

Gaydar just means that you can tell if someone is gay or not. And usually gay people can tell.. so I'd say no. Lifestyle is offensive b/c it implies that gay people can control who they are attracted to and that just isn't the case.

Answer 7

No, I use the word gaydar a lot. But some words it depends on the context, like dyke for example, some people say it jokingly and I don't get mad, but if a person is saying something to be deliberately offensive then yes.

Answer 8

No, it's not so much offensive as silly.
I mean...has anyone ever heard of Straightdar? Bidar? Transdar?


But my issue with the word "lifestyle" is that why do Straights get to live their LIVES, but I have a "lifestyle?"
How is my LIFE or rather they way I live it, any different than a straight persons daily life?

I work, I'm a Mom, I take care of the home, I pay the bills, run the errands and pay the taxes.

Um, don't MOST adults do this? (well with the exception of the "mom" thing which only a certain few privileged get to participate in)
But come on.

Answer 9

It's not offensive unless it is intended to be, though I don't see how you could really use it in a derogatory way. It means the 'radar' that some gay people are able to use to detect whether a person is straight or gay.

Answer 10

It's not offensive to me, but I feel uncomfortable saying it. I totally agree with andy