Its been 8 months now since she leftfor a coworker. To say I was devestated would be an understatement. I wanted karma to get them so bad not just for my pain but the pain she put our kids through. Now I could give a sh*t less about them and I'm feeling really good. I get my kids every other week and next week we are going on vacation. Is it possible for me to get over that quick??? 15 year relationship. Could I be in some sort of denial? I truly loved her and she told me she loved me right up until she dropped the bomb.
2007-06-28 18:34:16 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have finally accepted the end of the relationship and now you have realised you are free to chase any woman you desire.
Fetch!
2007-06-28 18:39:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
8 months is long enough to grieve...you are an adult, ain't getting any younger, time to get on with life. And you STILL love her, you always will..that doesn't mean you have to like her. I would feel better about this if you had said you hope she finds what she is looking for, not "could give a .... about them." That would be more reasonable. I suspect you are on a seesaw of emotions right now, and that is the 1st step towards freedom. Instead of being in such a hurry, why don't you try this....get everything that reminds you of her..the music, the pics, the...., light some candles, put on the 'sad' music, look at her pics, remember all the good times...soon enough you will be in deep grief...you may start bawling your eyes out..don't stop until you are sick to death of the feelings of loss, the headache that comes from the crying, etc...at that point you will have had your fill of grieving and start actually to get on with your life. Sorry if I am not convinced you are over this, but what I have suggested WILL get you well started on the way. STOP with blaming her, stop with resenting the coworker, in fact, accept it all as your fault, forgive YOURSELF and you will feel one hell of a lot better about the whole thing. She ain't coming back, no matter how much you may hope. Accept this as part of life, find new love, trust in that love and enjoy.....My advice is from experience, not bullcrap and idealism. We have all been where you are to some extent, some more than others. Know that you are not the only one on Earth to lose what you loved most. We are all still alive and doing very well, in fact..so will you if you learn to actually let it go. Peace.
2007-06-29 02:30:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are stages that people go through when losing important things in their lives. This may just be a stage, and reality has not set in, or this may be you handling the situation the best you can. It could even be that the relationship had become such turmoil that you feel relieved to be out of it. In a 12 year relationship, it has taken over a year for me to get over it completely. Sometimes I feel great about the situation. I am honestly happier at times. Then sometimes I feel lonely, and miss the security of the relationship. All I really know is that I have passed the crying stage, and the angry stage. I am not sure what is next. My main problem was trying not to love him anymore. That is what has made moving on so difficult.
I sure hope that you will be able to find happiness again. Not all women are cheaters and liars.
2007-06-29 02:02:07 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you deep down inside agree with her and wanted to end things also. If you both have been unhappy for sometime then maybe you mourned the death of your relationship along time ago and have just been going through the motions. Her leaving for a co-worker helps because it allows you to feel anger which helps to move on from the situation. If you didn't have this anger it would hurt even more. It is possible to get over quickly because it's all in our minds. I have loved and lost the same. I thought I would die. Then something just changed one day and I realized I didn't want the guy to come back. It felt so good to get past the bad feelings. It's like someone has lifted the clouds from around you head.
2007-06-29 01:44:01 · answer #4 · answered by marie s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you COULD be in denial - sort of a defense mechanism that your mind enacts when there's too much pain, or it could be that you're a quick emotional healer, or it could be that you maybe weren't really happy with her when you were together and just stayed 'cause you didn't know there was a better life out there and now that you're happy in your new life, there's not much to miss? It's hard to say, I'm not inside your head. But, to be perfectly honest, if I were you, I would just be happy that you're feeling okay with everything now and not worry so much about the reasons why unless you start to become unhappy. Of course, I would still question it for curiousity sake and preventative measures, but don't harp on it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Good for you, congrats!!
2007-06-29 01:42:31 · answer #5 · answered by tenayaledeux00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you realized that you're better than someone who is capable of doing such a thing. Also, you might be thinking that whatever she has with this guy probably won't last because (let's all say it together now) ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER. I'm glad that you're getting over it. I think it's better to not question your feelings since you're feeling so good. This may be a new beginning for you. Congratulations.
2007-06-29 01:40:11 · answer #6 · answered by Julie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've accepted the situation and realized that you're better off without her. Good for you. I wish my ex would do that. After 15 months of separation, he's still fighting me for custody and for property that was mine when I was a child. Some people recover faster than others. Be happy. Enjoy life.
2007-06-29 01:38:23 · answer #7 · answered by B B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your just doing what a good father would do. Everything your doing right now is just for your kids. You don't want to put your kid into the whole situation seeing you devastated and down. You should be proud of yourself for letting go of the relationship.
2007-06-29 01:39:40 · answer #8 · answered by jj1102 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the two of you just grew apart,and fell out of love with each other with out even realizing it.I agree 15 years is a long investment into a relationship.There's a world of possibilities as to why your feeling this way.Falling in love and out of love with someone is a choice and when she made the choice to leave, maybe you made yourself numb to to feeling anything for her or you just fell out of love with her.
2007-06-29 01:45:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are lucky to be in the state of mind that you are in right now. Good for you. It sounds like you have your head on straight and you're continuing with your life. I don't think that you are in denial, I just think that you know what you have to do. Good for you. Good luck!
2007-06-29 01:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by The Nag 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋