emailing dirty jokes?

Question

Do you think it's appropriate for a single woman to email dirty jokes and suggestive pictures to a married man? A woman my hubby works with keeps sending him these things at home.

In the past, before we were together...if I was ever doing that it would be because I was "coming on" to a guy, or flirting. I say it's a way of "talking dirty" when a woman sends risque pictures and jokes to a man. He disagrees that she is coming on to him, but I also think that if a man was emailing me those types of things, he definitely wouldn't like it.

Do you think sending those types of things is a form of flirting, for a woman?

It seems inappropriate to me, and yes I do know her fairly well. I know nothing would ever come of it, that's not the issue here. It probably wouldn't bother me if I didn't sense that my H was attracted to her, and if I didn't know my H confides in her, or used to. I think if she is sending these things she should be sending them to me also, or not at all... and that she's being disrespectful of me and of our marraige. She's got a crude sense of humor, but there's no reason why she can't include me in the jokes, i.e. if they are funny she wants him to see, then why shouldn't she share them with me as well? The other thing that bothered me was, he at first tried ot tell me he didn't remember who sent it to him... then said it was her, but she got it from her lawyer. As if that made it okay. He knew it wasn't right, IMO, or that it would bug me.

Answer 1

yes definitely...n u hav every right to question wats going on...im sure he wouldn like it if it was the other way around...in that woman is wrong wrong wrong b/cuz its a married man! stand up for wat u think on this one cuz ur right.

Answer 2

I have a group of friends, male and female, married and single, and we email dirty jokes to each other all the time. So some of my jokes get sent to married men (and often their wives), but I'm in no way flirting with them. The only "suggestive" pictures I've sent are joke ones. I point this out b/c there's a possibility that she's really NOT coming onto him.

Now onto your situation: There are plenty of single women who do come onto guys. If she's sending suggestive non-joke pictures to him, that's inappropriate. In addition, have you met her? Do you get the vibe she's flirting with your husband? Can you tell if she's forwarding this stuff to a bunch of people, not just him?

In any case, you have a discomfort with this stuff. IMO your feelings are more important than some dumb jokes and pictures. I think he should tell her to remove him from her mailing list, and if she persists, he should delete the stuff without opening it.

Answer 3

I don't know if it's flirting, but it sure seems to me to be highly inappropriate and shows no class whatsoever. I'm a bit surprised that your husband doesn't think so, too.

You could be right. We married guys are pretty stupid when it comes to knowing when a woman is flirting with us, so it's entirely possible that you sense something that he doesn't. (I always trust my wife on these kinds of things.)

The question is, what do you do about it? You've already expressed your disapproval. Out of respect for you, your husband should never open such email in the first place, but rather send it to spam or delete it outright. If nothing else, this kind of email is in poor taste.

Answer 4

It's inappropriate for two reasons. First, she is flirting with a married man. Second, there may be a rule in the company that employees are not allowed to do that to other employees, even on their own time and using their own equipment.
I think you should ask your husband to tell her to stop. Or send her an e-mail identifying yourself on his account and tell her you see the things she sends him.

Answer 5

I think she just has that kind of a sense of humor. I wouldn't take it too personally. She is just a friend. IF the dirty pictures are of her, then yeah, there's need for alarm. From my experiences, some women have a dirtier sense of humor than guys do.. It's all fun and jokes though, so don't be worried.

Answer 6

What matters is that you are uncomfortable with the emails and he should respect your feelings and ask her to stop.

I am single and email all sorts of things to my married guy friends, but I know their wives also and have checked to make sure it is okay with them. Usually I send the same things to both.

Is it possible you have other misgivings about his relationship with this woman or feelings of insecurity with your husband? Examine where the feelings are coming from and talk it out with hubby!

Answer 7

That is definitely a "come on". Men are so blind ... until it is too late. I'm a divorced woman and I would never send things like that to a married male "friend".

The real question is ... how "friendly" is your husband with this single woman???

Answer 8

You see it as a form of flirting because thats how you used to flirt. I don't see it that way. If she wanted to talk dirty to him she would have done so, she probably thinks its funny and want to share a chuckle with her friend. Now if the pics are of her then I would have a problem.

Answer 9

I say no, not appropriate but not a big deal. My irritation would be the number of forwarded emails I'm getting just from one person. This is in the same category as cell phones ringing in the middle of a conversation, busy signals, and the broken tip of Hershey's chocolate kisses. An annoyance.

Answer 10

Tough one! If u are hurt by it then yes, your hubby should ask this women to stop sending such emails.
I don't see a problem personally just harmless fun but your feelings count and if your hurt you have a right to ask hubby to stop accepting them.

Answer 11

No, not at all. I forward things that I think others will find funny. Male, female, married, single. I'm not thinking of any message it's sending besides the laughter..

Relax, it's e-mail.