How do you tell your best friend that her Husband is cheating on her ?

Question

I found my Best Friend husband Cheating on her. When he is with his wife he acts like they are in love and when I saw him at lunch with his love he acted like he is soooooooo in love with her he has no idea that I saw them and they were seated in the next both from where I was sitting so I got to hear the whole conversation he was having with her. I felt like going up to him and saying something but did not. Now this is eating at me I feel like I need to tell her something or give him the choice befoer I go to her with this. there is no doubt what is going on I heard everything. They have been married for 18 years and have 2 kids, What should I do?

Answer 1

Wow 18 years... and this is your best friend? I would feel the need to tell the husband about his public display of cheating. Then I would talk to my Best Friend... be aware that after all those years of marriage don't be surprised that she may already know, and doesn't want to see it, or deal with it. As her best friend you have the opportunity to tell her...there is too much disease out there to not know about the dangers to her and her family. There is a television program called Cheaters who investigate and get the cold hard facts. Be ready to pick up the pieces.

Answer 2

You would have had a better chance of calling him out on his behavior than telling your friend her spouse is cheating.

1. She may not believe you.
2. She's going to pull the your just jealous card.
3. Telling your friend that her spouse is cheating lets him off the hook from telling her and seeing the hurt in her face.
4. Your going to lose a friend.

Before you tell your friend make sure you are 150% sure he's having an affair. When we eavesdrop we often do not hear the whole conversation.

Answer 3

This is a tough one!!! You CANNOT tell her, because then she'll probably just accuse him, tell him where she got the information from, and then YOU'LL be the bad guy somehow!

People just don't need to hear these truths by their friends. It's a sure way to end the friendship.

However...you cannot let your friend go on being the victim here either. I would just sort of ellude to the situation sometime during a serious conversation. "How are things going with you and John?" That might open up the door to her saying something along the lines of, "Sometimes I feel like he's cheating on me." And then you can explore that more without saying anything specific to her. "Hmmm...why would you feel that way?" and mention that if she ever wanted help looking over his everyday schedule, you'd be happy to give her any support she needed.

She needs to find out for herself. If you heard anything that would help (like does he call her from his cell phone?) then guide her to find the clues...but don't tell her outright.

Answer 4

Don't come out and tell her. Just wait for the next time you're in the room with them both, and then give the husband a big smile and say "Hey! I saw you having at the other day, and I was going to come over and say hi, but I saw that you had company. That girl was beautiful, but she doesn't look like you. Is she family?"

Let him explain it.

Answer 5

talk to the husband first, tell him to tell his wife or you will. Then tell your friend. Im speaking from experiance, she may not like you telling her and she will get upset, but after she has calmed down she will respect you for been her best friend and telling her, cause she is going to feel like a fool, and if you weere the one that told her, then she is going to appreciate you for that cause it is better for her to find out than to be made a fool of. But give the husband the chance to tell her first so that you dont need to be the messanger, just the friend to help with the aftermath.

Answer 6

I would tell her, wouldnt you want to know. besides what if hes having unprotected sex with his mistress he could give an std to your friend. I would take her aside and be a nice about it as possible tell her everything, then offer to take the kids for awhile why she sorts things out. It is not fair to her, it saddens me I know what it feels like to be taken advantage of. If she gets mad at you dont lash out, just be there, if she tells you she isnt your friend anymore, tell her you understand what shes saying but, when the time comes you will be there for her.
Or, you could casually say so does Jim got a new boss or I seen jim at the diner whos the chic he was with is that a new coworker, act like DUH about it and let her get curious about this mystery chick. Either way she deserves to know.

Answer 7

what i would do is get proof that he is cheating on her . like take pics of him with this other girl . then i would tell her that you are there for her and that you have something you need to tell her and that you don't want to hurt her but if you keep letting this go then you are hurting her more then you are doing good and what kind of friend would you be if you let this go and didn't say anything to her . then i would go to him when he is with this other woman and tell her that he is married and has kids. that should embarrass him . good luck

Answer 8

Wow!! This is not good. This is going to be the hardest thing you have to do because you know how much your friend is going to hurt. That is really sad that he is doing this to her and the children. I would have to approach her and break it to her someway because in this day and age There are STD'S out there that can damage you physically forever or even kill you. She has children that love her and you do to and you just want to keep her here. You realize that this is going to devastate her and change her whole life and you have got to make her promise that she will never tell her husband where this information came from.......because if she stays with him and she tries to work things out with him he will never want you around her. You have to work with her and as hard as this will be for her she has to investigate everything he is up to and catch him in the act. Have her check all cell phone bills and credit card bills first. then she needs to follow him in a car he dosen't know and watch where he is going.....take pictures if possible. When she sees this all for herself and if she tells you she is going to leave him over it for sure make her get to the bank and withdraw money before he gets to it first. Tell her to get all of her ducks in a row. Tell her to never leave her home and make him get out...if he causes her problems tell her to call the police and have the husband escorted out of the home. Your friend is going to need your support emotionally and may need you to stand by her. I would not go to the husband and say anything because he will just deny it or have time to cover up his tracks. Let him go and let your friend catch him red handed. I really feel sorry for her sweetie so look out for her and take care yourself.

Answer 9

Tell her but anonymously, type up a letter or use a fake email account and email her make sure that when she tells you about this email she received you encourage her to try and find out if its true. You already know it is so get prepared for the worst. She may try and dismiss it as someone playing a joke but encourage her to make sure. She is your friend and I know that you would want to know if it was you.

Answer 10

I posted a related question yesterday. I just blurted out what I heard to my friend. The husband denied it & got furious with me. The friendship is totally chilly now. I think it's right to tell. She has the right to know. But getting involved in someone else's biz has it's consequences. She may want to believe him when he denies it. If he admits it, then she has a good friend in you to lean on. Good luck, but be prepared to be the bad guy,