this is some CRAP i need some help!!?

Question

ok i have been engaged with this guy, we were having some issues on how i'm dealing with his son. we couldnt work it out so we broke up. for like 3 days. on the day i was going to come over to talk to him his daughter called me and told me to hurry up and come over cause his exwife(the boy's mom) was there!! so i came over and found out that since i broke up with him she broke up with her husband. and she had earlier told him she would divorce her husband to marry my guy. AGAIN. me and him are back together but how am i suppose to deal with her if she keeps saying stuff like that to him he said if we were broken up for good he WOULD get back with her. i have a 6 mo old not by him but he is the only father my son will ever know so i cant just up and leave and i dont have a job cause he told me i didnt have to work if i didnt want to. PLEASE HELP I NEED ADVISE QUICK!!

Answer 1

if you love him, stay with him, and figure out whats the deal with his ex wife, like why she needs to get back with him and all. your child will be better off growing up with a father, and his child seems to trust you enough... but it all depends on love

Answer 2

Wow, how do you deal with all this?

Answer: YOU don't. He does.

He needs to pick up his cojones from the floor and make a decision. He's got a full plate of options, of which are staggering because whatever choice he makes has serious and dire consequences for everyone involved. So it's not just pick whoever you like, it's more like pick whatever will make EVERYONE happy. If he's a real man he will choose with his heart and you can't really fault him for that.

That aside, you said your 6mo old is not even his kid so why are you even relying on his support (who da baby-daddy?) What, you had that child and can't even take care of him without some big, strong man to do it? Come on.Give yourself some credit girl!

Here's an idea: Let him go. Because if he is truly 'in love' with you he will not even consider any other woman's appeal. That's legit. And hunt down that 'baby-daddy' for the due child support if you're so concerned about making ends meet.

If you're worry is the interpersonal relationship your fiancee has with your son, well that's not gonna go away (regardless of any circumstances) because he is (i'm guessing) a real man who developed a close-knit bond with your child. But even at worst case scenario, your child is too young to have developed memory cells at this age so don't sweat it so much.

Answer 3

Do you want to solve this situation? Break up with him for good, let him get back with his "ex" and move on. Your 6 month old won't even remember him 6 months from now. The reality is that in addition to his problem with his "ex", you still have the problem with how he reacts to your dealing with "his son". This is an emotional timebomb and you do NOT need to be there when it goes off. It's clear that he'd be back with his ex if you were gone, so just leave and let the two of them get back to the fight they had when they had the two children in the first place. Meanwhile, you'll be free to find someone without all the baggage who'll make you happy, not be a constant threat and be a real father to your son.

Answer 4

This is a bad situation. Why in the world would someone who "loves" you have a spare ready on the side? The fact is, you got back together after 3 days of being apart only because you felt the pressure of this #2 woman in line. It still doesn't seem like the issues with the son are solved. Wow, he has a daughter by someone, a son by someone else, and you have a son by someone else? Kinds sounds like nobody is ready to settle down. (Aren't condoms sold in your town?)Don't fool yourself, this situation is no good for you. Get a job and become self sufficient.

Answer 5

First, I would start by getting a job so that you are not totally dependent on him. Then, you need to decide if you really love him and whether he's worth that stress. You don't need to stay with him for financial reasons. It will just get harder and it may end up in divorce which is even more expensive. Personally, I don't think you need to be with someone who is already planning what he'll do if it doesn't work out between you guys. Good luck.

Answer 6

I think his being very selfish,his probably with you cause it's his best option for right now.not because your the one he loves, I mean his already telling you that if you leave he will take her back, so his just thinking about him self, I think you should leave him, they sound like they deserve each other. Good luck:)