How Do You CONNECT With Your CHILDREN?

Question

Connecting with Your Kids: Strategies for Tough Conversations
A BIG CHALLENGE 4 PARENTS!

Answer 1

My daughter is 22 now, and we have always been very close, never having the problems you hear are "inevitable."

First, decide you are going to have a great relationship with your child and expect that it will be so. Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. That's their reality not yours.

Second, look at your child, not as an extension of yourself, but as a unique, individual, who you've been fortunate to have the opportunity to get to know. What interests them? How can you help them experience more of the things they love? What can you learn from them?

Third, never lie to them and let them know that the truth will never be punished. Never. And back that up.

Fourth, share with them your morals and values and the reasons behind them. Let them know WHY you ask them to abide by certain rules until they are 18. Let them know HOW their not abiding by certain laws and rules affects not just them but the rest of the family.

Finally, love them. When they walk into the room let them see your eyes light up. Put down what you are doing and give them your time and attention. Involve them in as many things you need to do as you can, so they feel as much a part of your life as you are theirs. And spend more time praising their accomplishments than pointing out their failures. Use failures as an opportunity to look together for a positive solution.

You CAN have the ideal relationship with your children. Simply hold that as your intention and expect it.

Answer 2

Well my son is 5, I am a single parent and we are very close. I constantly get asked for "a word" by his teacher, who seems to think he has behaviour problems, but one to one he and I connect really well. First off I try to establish that the most important thing is that he tells the truth, if I feel he is telling a lie then I promise him if he tells me the truth I will not be angry but I just want him to be honest. Which generally he does then do. Its so tricky, but I try to explain to him what he has done wrong and then tell him that I am going to have to punish him - this normally takes the form of taking away privileges, ie. he cannot play on the computer for a week etc. God knows if I am doing it right - but I am trying the best I can!

Answer 3

I personally go down to their level. I join them in activities that they like, such as sports, movies, or video games; then use it to hold meaningful conversations. We also have meals together, where we share things that have taken place throughout our day. I think the most important part in our relationship is that just as much as they share with me, I share with them. If I am upset about something that happened to me throughout my day -- I tell them about it and ask them what I should do or how I should feel about it. This way we always talk about stuff eliminating as many secrets as possible. At the same time, I gain points by giving them some space when they ask for it. My thirteen year old son and I have held deep conversations going back and forth with questions and answers. Sometimes its hard to hear but I am grateful to know that he feels comfortable enough with me to talk it out. Its the best!!! Good luck.

Answer 4

from experince i am 15 me and my parents do not connect but let your children have some freedom but to an extent take them and there friends to the movie take them to the mall and have super together once or twice a week ask how is there day been ask them how is everthing going wi there step mom or dad if have step parents ask them have they said anything to them out of the ordanairy when they start dating take them on a date let them site in seperat rows of seat go to a theam park let them live a child/teenage life never hold them down let them hang out with friends don't make themstay at home with you all the time sometimes is good though keep track of where there ay give them a cerfu and trust me you guys should have family night where you guys play board gamea cards go to the movies just have funn!!! i hope you can youthis advise

Answer 5

it really depends on the age. Ten and under, you have to be very careful and even more sensitive. 11 to 15 be careful still, but be truthful, but sensitive.(you will be repeating yourself on an hourly basis, heads up)and 15 and up. be honest, and sincere. It's work, whatever your situation is married, single mom, divorce, it's work. But remember this you have to be happy...you! If your not happy you kids ain't happy.And believe it, they know when your not happy. think about your happiness and the happiness of your kids...think about long and hard, get some sleep, and make your decision the next day.

Answer 6

How did I connect with my children, when they were younger, I was there, I was involved and we discussed everything under the sun (everything). I was blessed with three lovely daughters, and not every moment was happy and gay, there were rough, sad and bad times, but through communication, constant love and religious guidance, we made it through. God Bless.

Answer 7

WHY DO YOU WANT TO HAVE TOUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH YOUR KIDS IF YOU SHOW THEM A GOOD EXAMPLE YOU DONT HAVE TO TALK SO TOUGH YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN ARE EQUAL SO RESPECT EACHOTHER AND FOR RAISING KIDS THERE IS NO MANUAL BE FLEXIABLE, SUPPORTING AND LOVING ACCEPT THERE WILL BE GOOD DAYS AND BAD DAYS SO ACT ON IT AND DONT FORGET TO SEE THE HUMOR OF IT ALL ........

Answer 8

I sit him down and we really talk about what is going on in our lives