Why would a young guy age 27 hang himself [suicide]?

Question

I have a nice and funny, pretty much a normal nephew that has a newly wed wife into marriage and two little baby boys from the wife. Maybe about 3 or 4 yrs of marriage with his lovely wife. He commit suicide! I cannot believe a normal person like this, would do this, to himself. He was raise with 2 brothers and 2 sisters in a big family environment. He normally drinks beer and not into drugs, that I may know of. I heard rumors, that he was having problems in his life. The last time, I talk to him on the phone, was that he was busy working and supporting his lovely wife and small kids [family]. I never thought that he would do such a thing, especially being a hardworking family man. I am a hardworking family man, I do get into depression on my extremely bad days, but I never, ever think of suiciding myself, before my wife and lovely kiddos. Now the lovely wife is now a widow. How can this be? WHAT WENT WRONG??? WHAT COULD MADE HIM DO THIS-BY HANGING HIMSELF???

He's other two close brothers [my other nephews], are not saying much. They would not explain or get into details to me about this situation, they are pretty much very quiet on this matter. It makes me wonder, what exactly happen to him, to push himself to hang [suicide]. Was the wife found cheating on him? Was he into drugs? Did he lost his job, etc,etc? Did he get into a major suicidal depression?

Answer 1

Of course one can only speculate about such things, but most people who commit suicide do so because they see their life as hopeless. It is of course, irrational thinking, but to the person at the time it seems reasonable and feasible...and the only answer to the problems they believe they have. They have gotten in so deeply into debt or whatever that they can't see their way out, or they are simply so depressed they see it as freedom from the pain. People who are really suicidal never show others that side of themselves for fear they will be stopped. So don't feel badly that you couldn't see what he had planned. The ones who threaten it are doing so as a cry for help and never really want to die. Your nephew clearly did not cry out for help as I am sure you and others would have been there for him. There are just some questions that never get answered, and this may be one that is never answered for you. I am so sorry for your loss and God bless you and his entire family.

Answer 2

First thing, if anyone is feeling the least bit depressed, TALK ABOUT IT! Everyone always says, oh I get depressed but I would never kill myself. You don't know that for certain. I battled depression for years and years and one day I decided it was enough and went to the closet and took out a gun. I had the bullet and was leaving the closet and I heard my grandpa's voice (he killed himself), say put it down. It snapped me to reality. As I sat there I couldn't believe what I had almost done. I have 5 healthy happy children, what would they have done without their mommy. At the time, I didn't even care, the only thing I could think about was the pain and I wanted it to stop. I got help, went into a hospital and while I was there I decided I would never let myself get that low again and I haven't, simply cause I get things off my chest. I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard enough when you lose someone, but suicide leaves so many why's, even if there is a note. Nobody knows what was really going on in that person's mind. Unfortunately, there will never be answers. And people who have decided to take their own life usually don't show any signs. In fact, alot of times they may make their mind up days ahead of time and seem happy, because they have finally put their mind at rest. Suicide is just a terribly complicated thing.

Answer 3

Personally, I am a Christian. I believe in Jesus Christ and I live for Him. If there is nothing beyond the grave, then life is pointless because no matter what you do, you just die. Some people that don't have faith in anything just decide that life isn't worth living anymore because it's too hard or whatever. If I wasn't a Christian, I might do the same thing. If he never gave his life to Christ (confessed his sins, repented, and made Jesus Lord of his life) and the Bible is true, he's in hell right now. Don't make the same mistake yourself.

I have heard of Bible-believing Christians killing themselves too, so I don't claim to know exactly why, but it is a possible explanation. God wants to be Father to those fatherless kids and He has a special place in His heart for widows also. You all should turn to Him and the family will probably need some professional counseling too. That's a very sad situation.

Answer 4

There could be a 1001 reasons. Many people commit suicide because they were forced to marry, yet ther orientation wasn't heterosexual and thus had no choice but to lead a double life. This is the outcome of religious/tribal indoctrination. The person cannot accept his true self or is afraid the community's retribution. Sad.
Historical fact about suicide: In the early days of Christianity, the slaves of the Roman Empire wanted to escape their lot and couldn't wait to get to that newly heralded, alluring Paradise, so suicide was rampant in their midst.
As slave owners were loosing their investment/work force this way, the trend had to be stopped, and suicide was declared a sin.
This also shows that Christianity (and all other religions) are not so much pro-life, as pro-suffering. Remember the good old days of Ancient Greece, where it was accepted that if one considered his own life lacking quality, it was a justification for suicide.
On the other hand, only in recent times, our good god-fearing authorities would save the life of a suicidal man, just to have the power over him to sentence him to death for the sin he has committed by his intention.
Personally, if I were to commit suicide, it would be because of my unhappiness over having been born into a species, where most individuals have the pitiful need to believe in invented supreme beings, just to feel more special, and different from the so-called lower animals.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry about the loss of your nephew. I think there must have been some sort of underlying mental condition, or just such a severe clinical depression that he may have just kept hidden. It's not like us saying we 'feel depressed' on days we feel sad or low. Clinical depression is very serious, and people feel they are totally hopeless and worthless. Or he easily could have gotten into drugs, or owed gambling money... someone has to know something...
It's a tragedy that he didn't have the strength for his children and wife... sorry to say, but suicide is a coward's way out...
You sound like a wonderful man, and keep in touch with the wife to see if and when she needs help....

Answer 6

You'll never be able to get the exact reason why your nephew committed suicide, since he took that reason to the grave with him.

I can only guess by what you are describing, that he may have been an overachiever (and usually overachievers don't feel they can ever live up to other people's expectations), and probably the pressures of his life became too much for him and he saw suicide as a way out of that pressure.

I don't think that he necessarily wanted to hurt himself as much as he wanted for such pressures to end.

But whatever the reason is, neither you or your loved ones should ever blame yourselves. He alone made that choice.

You might want to check your community non-profit agencies to see if you can find a support group for families of suicide victims, as a way to be able to relate to and support each other in the pain you all share.

Good luck. My condolences and best wishes are with all involved.

Answer 7

Im sorry this happened. Reasons for suicide are often very personal and a lot of the time people will never know exactly why. My uncle did the same as your nephew. There are no answers, but time will help. Don't hold back your feelings.

Answer 8

Sorry to hear your loss but maybe you should sit down and define the word normal . You keep using the word normal when in fact it is not normal to kill yourself . It could have came from religious beliefs or family beliefs the way his parents taught him . The only thing i can really tell you is to think about his waisted life that god gave him and look at yourself and make sure you never or anyone in your family will think that way over a common belief that your family shares . I'm not saying that it came from there but for you and your family's sake make sure of it . Evidently the will to live wasn't put into him somewhere down the line . Teach your children to be strong no matter how hard life gets. Teach them to appreciate life and all the wonderful things we have to live for and to reject death

Answer 9

Someone I knew, about 50, ended his life recently - I had the same questions as you. The only real answer is that, since none of us can ever really know what's going on inside another person, we must take it as given that the other person found life too unbearable to continue. I believe that these unfortunate individuals are somehow unable to talk openly about their very intense feelings of despair - doing so, to anyone who will listen, would perhaps have been the best way to ease and thus bear the pain.

Answer 10

My aunt got married last August to a man that she had been with for over 4 years. They seemed so happy, I went to the wedding. Then in September he hung himself. He was a firefighter and had mentioned a while ago that he wanted her to have his pension..which alarmed her but then thought it was just something stupid that he said. She woke up one morning and found him hanging in their new house.
I am so sorry for the pain that everyone involved is going through. All I can say is that he may have had depression or some type of mental illness. My prayers are with your family.