Tell me what you think??

Question

I am married to a man 16 years older than me... We have four kids. My husband treats me like I am a piece of crap. He says that I am suppose to call him in the daytime, and when I do he picks up the phone and asks me what the f*** do I want. He thinks that it is ok to call me a bi**h. He only cares about his sexual needs, 10 minutes and he is done. He hollars about everything and anything, even when the house is perfectly clean and the kids are in bed, he still finds something to hollar about. He even treats the kids poorly at times. He works by himself, our own family business, Lawn Care. He thinks that because I can work on vehicles, and detail vehicles, and mow lawns, and do paper work, and all kinds of things that I am suppose to do all of the things that he could do on top of caring for a house, kids, animals, and my own business. How can I make him respect me and treat me like an equal and not like his slave? What should I do? What are your outside points of view on this?

Ok, he didn't always act this way. He has gotten more hateful in the last year. His mom says that his dad put a lot of bad things in his head about women. That is why she says he acts the way he does.

Answer 1

He is a jerk and you can't change him. There is no excuse for him to call you B****, etc. I've been there,done that. It really hurts, doesn't it. I still remember the pain.

1. No more kids!! No more.

2. Figure out what you are good at, how you can earn a living. Sounds like you have several saleable skills. Make use of them

3. Start a secret bank account in your youngest kid's name at a bank neither of you deal with. If you get to do the check book, write a check for groceries for $87, but put $127 in the checkbook register. Have a garage sale, put proceeds in the secret account. I had over $2000 when I left my hubby 20 years ago.

4. Do not bad mouth hubby to your kids. Your need allies, and they will rally round you.

5. When you have your game plan in place, explain to hubby new rules: no name calling; treat you like a lover, not a prostitute; loving father to kids.

Your kids deserve to be loved, not abused. No father is better than a bad father.

6. He most likely will laugh in your face. Now is time to move.

It is so scary to move out of a miserable relationship. You will miss his money. No sex seems worse than bad sex, BUT it isn't.

He probably is scared of being so much older than you. That is his problem.

You have a terrific challenge. You can do it. Good Luck.

Move on. Good luck. Dump the chump.

Answer 2

You know the 'ole saying you don't miss it until it's gone. Maybe you and the kids need to take a little vacation from him to teach him a lesson. He is 16 years older so he thinks that you are young enough to handle the pressures of taking care of the family and working to or he may just have old isms about the woman takes the responsibility of the kids and house. You need to show him that this is a new age and fathers have just as much responsibility with the household chores and kids as the woman do. My husband does shift work at the mill and he still helps out, I mean we have 4 kids and I also work 40+hrs a week. If he was the sole provider it would be different but business he is not then he pitches in and help. Your husband may be set in his ways but he will do it alone until he realizes what a great asset you are to the family. And for as treating those kids poorly he would answer for that as well. Good luck, now go teach him a lesson!

Answer 3

Talk to him and tell him that if his behavior doesn't change ASAP, you are leaving. Do you want to spend the rest of your life like this? And think about what it is teaching your children! That Dad can treat Mom like crap and that is okay. It teaches sons to treat women like crap and teaches daughters to just accept it and put up with it.

You have the right to be treated with respect and decency. Once YOU really believe that, things will change. (Either he will get better or you will leave him.)

To get a different point of view that might help you, pretend that your daughter just told you what you told all of us out in Yahoo-land. What would you tell your daughter to do if she were in this situtation?

Answer 4

You need to speak to your husband (seriously) No matter what he was taught by his father, he has no right to treat you or the kids that way...

Tell him how you feel and if he truly loves you he will stop treating you that way. if he doesn't that I would suggest you leave. You don't want your kids growing up to be the same way and you also have to have respect and love yourself enough not to let it happen....

What he is doing is a form of abuse.. Don't let it go on any further.

May God Bless you and Good Luck.

Answer 5

he sounds exactly like my dad. my dad grew up the only boy in a family of four children and my grandpa worked on the railroad so he wasn't around much. needless to say, me father was raised as the golden child. now he seems to think that women are good for whatever he needs them for and nothing else. he treats my mom like he owns her. my best advice to you would be to tell him exactly what you think and tell him if nothing changes that you are taking the children and leaving. the age difference probably doesn't help either. he probably picked you because you are younger and would be easier to control.

Answer 6

Sorry to say but he's not gonna change if you let this continue. Flat out tell him what you think and tell him if he doesnt like it to hit the road. No one man or woman should take this kind of mental abuse and that is what it is. Get a back bone and stand up for your self.

Answer 7

I think the best thing to do would be to try talking to him first, and letting him know exactly how you feel don't hold anything back. If he doesn't listen to your feelings then I would consider leaving. It sounds to me like he is trying to make a slave out of you, and disrespect you. You deserve respect and I would demand it or leave. He wil continue to do it, if you let him. Good luck

Answer 8

typically YES typically NO. Pregnancy indicators are the identical as indicators of a interval coming so typically it is very tough to inform. tHE VERY BEST approach to realize is to attend until a interval is past due and do a hometest. I was once 7 weeks earlier than i discovered with my daughter I NEVER felt ill pregnant sore boobs ANY SIGNS of being pregnant however, a + experiment. With this being pregnant earlier than my interval was once due i felt sizzling, irriated, crampy, sore boobs, the whole thing smelled horrible. All being pregnant are differnt despite the fact that a females is having no indicators and a interval is past due it is first-class to experiment.

Answer 9

You only have two choices #1 Put up with the B.S. and be miserable and unhappy and treated like dirt*... or #2 the opposite of #1*...

Answer 10

You need to let your husband know you will not allow him to treat you like a piece of crap and you certainly should not allow him to call you names. He might be too old to change, but let him know you are tired of his behavior and you are not a mat where he can wipe his feet.

He needs to work at making your marriage better and worth staying or ...I'm sorry....send him on his way.