peoples attitude towards you in general was, condescending, smug, smarmy, unctuous, patronizing, mocking, abrupt, unhelpfull....people outcasted you, seemed to socially exclude you.....then if finally you exploded in rage, everyone says'' yeah see look, loony mad person'' then they could socially ostracize you more....
how would you handle this?
i feel strongly that i experience this alot from people in the present and especially alot in the past....ive had borderline personality since 15, im 30 now. so ive been hurt and endured alot of psychologicall and mental pain at the hands of other people...& even though i have a disorder im trying to deal with, i still recognise the way im treated, and recognise disdain in all its forms. i have good intellect,& i no how im being treated by people...
its almost like, if i did lose it & explode in rage, youd see alot of somebodies, dancing,laughing, and enjoying my pain, wearing huge grins...but i continue to hang in there in spite of all this
2007-06-28 13:24:00 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
and im continuing to try and work towards my hopes and ambitions in life....one of them being to move away from england and hopefully find a loving partner....so no one can say i havent had determination, inner resolve, and have tried to give it my best shot, in spite of the cards ive been dealt in life.
2007-06-28 13:26:09 · update #1
First of all if everyone has the same reaction to you, then you can be sure that it is you and not them.
Second I would have known with out you telling us that you had BPD. That is the reaction 99% of people (including professionals , I'm sad to say) have to the behaviors you display. Please, don't missundersand me. You are not doing this on purpose, you don't know how to do anything else. Your behaviors have been working for you and protecting you for 30 years.
Find a therapist who specializes in working with Borderlines. Check out there experience and success rate. A lot say the do, but are actually overwhelmed with the push, pull and drain that can happen with Borderlines. If they don't set rules and stand by them or they let you manipulate them. They don't know what they are doing. YOUR job is to keep going even when you hate them and you will. If you have had any counseling at all you probably hop from one therapist to another when you become frustrated and angry. You have to want to get better, it is a long slow process but it happens and you will be 1,000 times happier. Trust me on this, and I know that is hard.
2007-06-28 13:53:53 · answer #1 · answered by Morgan S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I used to try to kill myself when I felt like that, but over the years and years of medication and counselling I have developed enough coping skills to survive.
There is something you need to believe before you can get a handle on your life....
Believe: People can only hurt you if you let them.
I used to argue this point because I felt like I couldn't stop or control what was happening. And then I began to consciously stop my self from getting sucked in to playing the victim role. The more you stop playing the role, you will see your life having less predators - the people you let stay in your life will not be the ones who could hurt you. Make your life the life you want to have.
This does not happen over night, and you really have to work at it...but as you work at it you will have moments of relief when you realize that things are getting better.
I might not ever be completely free of my illness, but I know how to cope in everyday life and am getting better at knowing how to cope with crisis. You know how to try hard...you can do it to become well.
2007-06-28 13:50:19 · answer #2 · answered by bin there dun that 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Good! I'm on my second glass of wine, but think I know the gist of your Q! We are ALL victims of our childhood, genetics and we can spend the rest of our lives trying to get over it!! I was Dx'd w/anxiety disorder-- was depressed; married an alcoholic OCD??? Perfectionist--only of other people!! Finally, I escaped with my little daughter; got a job to support her and my therapy; and figured out my own childood. Then I stopped depending on other people and blaming other people, and developed my own career and raised my daughter. She's now a bright, self-sufficient individual married and with 3 MARVELOUS grandchildren of mine!! We ALL have to get over our CHILDHOOD!! AND stop deMANDING that the rest of the world kowtow to YOU!! It sounds as thought you may have been abandoned by your mother--or if not, take responsibility for your own personality and stop expecting the rest of the world to adjust to you!! BELIEVE me! A Dx of borderline personality DOESN'T excuse you from being responsible for your own behavior!!!! EXPLORE YOUR CHILDHOOD!! IT WILL BE WILL WORTH IT--UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF--AND OTHERS!!!! Good LUCK!! Hope that you have the courage to do so!!
2007-06-28 13:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by Martell 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The same thing I do now. I don't pay them any attention..besides the voices in my head tell me I'm perfect just the way I am.
2007-06-28 14:05:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
. it's not about "you".
No one can make you fee bad without your consent. To think things happen because you are there is pretentious. Things happen and words are said and people act they way they do whether your there or not.
too bad you haven't grown up emotionally to realize this.
2007-06-28 13:28:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
im sure at one point, we all feel like u do but one must remain strong, and dont ever let the bastards get you down .
hold ur own and just choose life .........
2007-06-28 13:36:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm afraid to tell you that the problem is you not the others.
seek professional help
2007-06-28 13:38:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋