I'm very frustrated. My husband dont know how to please me during sex. I tried to talk with him, but he dont improve, i think it is because he doesent pay attention to my needs. I guess that he (and many men) only thinks about pleasing themselves, without caring about their partners. i need an opinion bcz i'm getting very frustrated about it. I need sex in my life, and i dont want to cheat him or leave him because of that, but i dont see other option. Plz give me an opinion.
2007-06-28 12:51:47 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why don't some women talk openly about how they want to be pleasured by and with the man they married? Your sexuality is yours- take responsibility for it.
2007-06-28 13:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps you are being too subtle in your requests? Some men need to be hit over the head (metaphorically), before they see what you want. And one sure way of spicing things up in the bedroom is to make it more interesting for him too. Are you interested in Adult Toys? Or sexy lingerie? Fantasy? Perhaps these might give him the incentive to give you a little more of what you need.
If he's not lasting long enough, there are medications and techniques that can help there too
But if you've tried everything, and he's not interested in helping you get what you need, then maybe its time to have a long talk with him.
2007-06-28 13:00:25 · answer #2 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that (at least in most cases). The problem is that women don't always explain things in a way that make sense to men. ESPECIALLY regarding sex.
Men have egos, and you have to broach the subject the right way, or we'll miss it. From personal experience, I wish women would explain what they want a lot better. Just saying something doesn't mean it's understandable to the other person.
Or in your case, he might not care. I don't know.
2007-06-28 12:56:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is funny, my guy were talking about this today. I am a tad older than him, so yeah I have had my share of dead fish in bed, and my guy was commenting on how I know what "gets me off" and I know how to ask for it or manuever to get it.
This is certainly not something that happens overnight, you have to just try to get that "feeling" by yourself first, then you can relay the methods used more easily to your husband.
Now from how your husband just does not care, it might not even be an option, but have you thought about masturbating until you climax so he can see what you touch, how you do it and how wonderful it is to orgasm.
Now I know it is very hard to sit there and bark orders in bed, so maybe ask him how he prefers instruction and/or direction and make sure YOU communicate with him....yes that is good, no do that softer, etc. You are a team in this, good luck!
2007-06-28 12:59:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
hmmm... lets seeeee.......... don't dump him yet, after all you are married. but I do know what you mean. I think some men are so damn selfish and they just don't think. and maybe he isn't into sex as much as he should be in order to satisfy a woman (you) so he just makes sure that he is taken care of. You might just have to tell him in detail what to do. and make him make you orgasm before he does, I know it kinda dampens the moment but try not to let it ruin it, just try and make that part of your sexual experience (telling him what to do and that he needs to go longer ) you will just have to way put your mind to it, and if you do that anything can happen. also as we grow older together we get more comfortable with our partner and we are able to relax more.
2007-06-28 13:01:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should be the more aggressive one and take control to show him how it is done. Some men just do not know what they are doing long as they get theirs first nothing else matters. Maybe it does matter but they just do not want to go thru all that hard extra work you know. So you must step up and do him the way you want him to do you so that way you will be at your peek once he get to his. You take control!!
2007-06-28 13:07:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a guy and i say hurray!! to kitty & barb!!!!! self centered guy's are a dime a dozen, buy a viberator; take it to bed with you and use it during intercourse. the slinder type can easily reach your clitoris during sex, in almost any position. the results can be mind numbing for both of you! be creative, if he don't come around, start without him. let him know you can get by without him. if he cares and wants some, he will figure out he must harder to please YOU, or he will be left out of the equasion. trust me there are plenty of MEN, that can and will please you if he won't. AND shame on U for not knowing this about him, BEFORE you married him!!!! do you buy cars without test driving them??? i think NOT!!!
2007-06-28 13:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by b.douglaswyatt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are HOT and still in good shape he might go have sex with you every 3 times a day. U should incourage him and talk to him u have needs.
2007-06-28 13:03:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you not give out sex until he agrees to try harder? Or at least do it very unenthusiastically? How about agree to do something else very nice for him if he bends a little? Find some room for compromise. Dr. Ruth one time suggested that you take turns getting your way. The first time you do anything he wants, wear anything he desires, do it where and when he wants to. The time is your turn, and he has to do it your way. That way he can learn what you like and need. Does that sound workable?
2007-06-28 12:55:08 · answer #9 · answered by Steve C 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Set up a night and discuss it with him first. Call it sex class, tell him you want to know how to please him better and in turn he will learn how to please you better. Explain that this way you both will get what you desire all the time. Sorry but if he doesn't want to go for it he isn't interested in anything except himself. That would be bad for him because with both partners getting what they want it becomes a lot better for all.
2007-06-28 13:00:33 · answer #10 · answered by b44z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can start watching those soft-porn instructional-type videos... Or you can hand him a book called "Sex tips for a straight man from a lesbian." It is pretty good. I bought "Sex tips for a straight woman from a gay man." It was awesome! It did improve my sex life... Good luck
2007-06-28 13:25:44 · answer #11 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋