my parents are getting divorced and its my fault, i know it.?

Question

My parents just told me they are getting a divorce and they say that all the time but they said this time theyre serious...i know its my fault because whenever they say theyre getting one its when im fighting with them. I dont want them to leave each other...theyre trying to make it so its best for both of them but i will still see my mom more than my dad and i dont want to see either one of them more, also my dad is going to not make alot of money and im really worried for him and i think my mom is just doing this to make everyone miserable. because my dad doesnt want to divorce, i try not to cry but i hear the breaking up songs on the radio and cry my heart out for like an hour, and my parents are getting divorced in a year, yea this isnt relally a question but i sorta just wanted to blog, feel free to comment/answer if you like...

pc xo

Answer 1

Now get this straight....It is NOT your fault. Please speak to a realative about this. You are caught in the middle. Your parents both love you but you are not responsible for the failure of their relationship.

Answer 2

Honey first of all no it is not your fault.. no matter how bad a child acts or what they do it is never the childs fault when the parents can not keep their relationship together.. I am sure there are alot of things making your parents feel like everyone would be better off seperate. Alot of couples just can't communicate, or there are trust issues, or financial problems that lead to the thought that everything would be better if they were not together. There are also issues that the parents may be going through that you have no clue about.. (When my parents divorced I thought it was my fault for the first part for a while but really when I got older (I was 6 or 7) I found out that there were things happening in their marriage that shouldn't have been going on and really my parents were better off for getting away from each other cause all they were doing was bringing each other down. It is never the childs fault!! No matter what anyone ever says.. you have no control on how wonderful or how bad things are going in their personal relationship!!

Answer 3

It is NOT your fault, it has nothing to do with you. Your parents just can't get along anymore, and sometimes that nobody's fault, it's just the way life is. There is nothing you could have done differently that would have changed this outcome.
Your parents aren't perfect, and marriage doesn't always result in a fairy tale. Real life is messy and difficult, and sometimes people come up with the wrong answers or do the wrong things - it doesn't make them bad people. So don't be too angry at your mom, and don't assume that every fight is a case for divorce. Would you rather they stay together and keep yelling and fighting for the rest of your life? It's no picnic, let me tell you. Maybe once they are apart they'll both start to be a little happier. Divorce is sad, but it can be a good thing in the long run.

Answer 4

It is NOT YOUR FAULT that your parents want to get a divorce. I'm sorry that you are going through this, and I know that it HURTS, but you are only doing yourself a 'disservice' to think it's YOUR FAULT. You need to 'think about this divorce' in a different way ... think of how HAPPY both of your parents could be if they were divorced, and how you can 'help them' by being HAPPY for them, and by wanting to spend 'as much time as possible' with each of them separately. So your dad may make less money ... so your mom may have to 'do more' ... they will be HAPPIER. You can START to make them happy by going to them when they are TOGETHER and saying that 'you don't like the idea of divorce' but if they will both be happier, then you'll be happier, too ... and then give each of them a 'big hug' and tell them both that they will ALWAYS BE YOUR PARENTS and that you LOVE THEM FOR RAISING YOU. Then go into your room and CRY ... because what you will be doing will 'really hurt' but I think it's best for ALL of you if they do get divorced.

Answer 5

No, Paige, it's not your fault. Children are never the cause of thier parents' divorce. Your parents divorced because the relationship between the two of them was dysfunctional. This is thier issue and has nothing to do with you. It's normal to be sad and maybe a little frustrated, but don't blame yourself. The adults made a decision they believed was best for the family. It doesn't feel that way right now, but over time it will all make sense.

Answer 6

When parents get a divorce its no usually the kid's fault. Im sorry that your parents are getting a divorce, but sooner or later, you will have to face it that this is final. I have a lot of friends whose parents are divorced and they are just fine with it. I know how you feel, I would never want my parents to split up either. Hang In there Girl!!! If you have anymore questions, im here for you!!! -Dance 4 Life

Answer 7

ok kiddo, let's get something into your hurting little head okay...your parents divorcing - is not, in any way shape or form, your fault.

Of couse they are fighting with you, they fight with you because they are fighting with each other, and with all the tension - emotions are running high. It isn't the cause of their divorce, the fighs with you are an EFFECT of it.

Sweetie, when two adults don't get along, as hard as it is to face, it is better to split, then live life miserable. Both your parents will be happier, the fighting will be over, and things will calm down considerably.

Your mom isn't doing anything to make anyone miserable, this is a decision they BOTH have come to - and when it comes to your care, they are going to make sure what happens, is in your best interest. You may not understand it all, but you are a kid, you aren't supposed to be that involved in their split.

If this is upsetting you so much, talk to them, tell them you want to get into counseling, so you have an outlet for how you are feeling.

Answer 8

it's not your fault, sweetie. IF they still really loved each other they'd find a way to make it work. They shouldn't bring you into it because no kid should have to worry about a parent(s)' problems. Having a child can make a relationship more difficult because it brings up issues. Maybe they don't agree on parenting styles or something, ya know? But that is in NO WAY your fault. It's an issue THEY need to figure out on they're own. The fact that they keep telling you they're splitting upsets me because it seems like they're using you to hurt eachother and that's just wrong....

Answer 9

There are other issues at hand and not what you are doing to cause the arguments.

They need to seek Christian counseling in order to keep this together.

Either way it is not your fault, so put that out of your head for good and stop dwelling on it. Stop allowing yourself to listen to tear jerking songs. It isn't healthy and will only lead you into severe depression. Your Dad if mom leaves still has you!

It isn't the end of the world, just a few changes have been made. Family is family and no divorce can ever change that.

God Bless for Sharing Your Thoughts

Answer 10

I'm sure it's not all your fault. I'm sure the romance has fled their relationship and sometimes people just change. Humans are variable. What is best is what makes sense. If all they do is fight and argue the there is no point keeping that in the household, it will just bring everyone down. Divorce is heart breaking, seeing the two people that taught you love being ripped apart is nothing short of depressing. Just think of their well-being, not yours. Dad might have to pay mom lots and lots of money, but that's what this country has come to. Women have the easy road when it comes to divorce usually. If they ever loved eachother they would agree on something that would make living comfortable for eacother after the divorce. If your mom is a kniving (sp?) cu*t and takes your dad for all he's worth then I would definately try to get under your dads care so he can get some c.s.

Answer 11

Believe me even though you say that your parents talk divorce after you get into an argument with them, you have to understand it is not your fault! I am a mother of three kids and have discussed divorce with my spouse after a fight over something to do with our kids, but the real problem is much deeper than the reason for their fighting. It doesn't take much for an unhappy couple to get into a fight and say such things and even go through with it. Their how marriage problems are really a different issue from you. I am sure that if they knew they were making you feel that way they would rethink how they fight and say such things in front of you, maybe you should tell them you feel as if it is your fault. Their response will surprise you.