Oh please, big is not in!?

Question

My topic is about big verses small, yesterday I was at my cubicle and I overheard one of the other female employees going on and on with another female employee on how big is the new sexy and how being small is played out. She proceeded to say how small women are not apealing to most men anymore and how men are prefering thick women over little women. I asked her what does she consider "skinny" she then said women like me. Mind you this women is about 5'4 and 220 pounds and I am 5'7 130 pounds. I asked what makes you think small women are not "in" she says because Monique showed on the Bet awards last night that big girls are just as sexy as small girls if not more. I have nothing against big women but it pisses me off when big women try to make smaller women fell bad for not being big. I told her if she was truley satisfied with her size she would not be defaming smaller women. I hate the term skinny because I am not skinny I am slinder with very nice curves. What do u think?

bestadvicechick, what is NORMAL to you? I am not praising rail thin models or women who starve themselves to be thin, I am talking about naturally slender but curvacious women (scarlett jahansson, jennifer beal, halle berry) who are ridiculled by overweight women. I used tbose names because that is the best visual I can give you. What ever happened to being healthy? BIG IS NOT HEALTHY!!!! Being big and proud is one thing, but being big and trashing small because self hate is another thing.

Answer 1

oh geeze...

i say, eventually all of us are going to be wrinkley and hunched over.

so, who cares whats in style.

be big in the heart.

and little in your attention to things that just don't matter.

and i hear you, i hate it when people make fun of me because i'm little. or if i'm eating a salad, they give me crap and say oh look she's dieting again. she must think she's fat. but if i pull out a butterfinger, they say oh well of course you can eat that youre' so skinny. what am i suppose to eat then? what? dirt? grass? lol. : )

Answer 2

She, nor you, can categorize what is "in" in terms of underweight, normalweight, or overweight. It's too general a statement considering every man has a different preference of women. Some men may like what you have to offer whereas others may like what she has to offer and others still will not like either of you.

Rather than getting upset and arguing with her, think of how ignorant she's being in believing that because some other person on television got attention for her body-type that she will.

As for most men like thin legs and a small rear as someone else mentioned, I know that there are plenty more that like people who appear healthy, rather than cocaine thin or obeise. Not to mention the role personality plays in men's likes or dislikes, of course.

Answer 3

These women were big themselves right? Its their way of making themselves feel better. I'm a little prejudice against large people, men and women depending on how large they are. Fat women, if you haven't noticed always look so mad. and attitude? holy cow, its disgusting, haha.
fat women have no idea that what they are saying is so ridiculous. I'm sorry, but i'm sure there are plenty ofmen that will agree. What man wants a woman that outweighs him? and iknow what you mean about being rail thin, no thats not attractive, tone, and lean is definitely in and sorry for the fat chicks that read this and might get offended, but face reality-those ofus with smaller thighs and tummies will always be more appealing to men-always have been and always will be. yes there are some men who prefer bigger women but that is more of a fetish than anything. normally those men are far from attractive as well.
facts are facts!!

Answer 4

I'm a BIG slim/skinny girl.
I'm 6ft and i weigh 62 kg(sorry I don't know pounds)
and I get looked at by BIG women all the time, in fact I get looked at by a lot of people all the time. I have been called many things by larger women, like 'skinny minnie' and 'rake' and 'tiny'(i see no logic in this as I loom over them?) the brunt of it is that people will belittle others that they feel intimidated by, they put people down to make themselves feeel better about themselves.
I find this really sad and I get really uncomfortable when people like this make unwanted comments about my appearance. I look good, yes thin but proportioned well and I have got curves like yourself in the right places.
I think that your 'friends' at work are jealous, as I just can't understand why women would say these things other than to put others down and make themselves appear better.
How can they call you or me BIG anyway???
We are taller than them anyway, theyare the small ones.

Answer 5

A few opinions:

1. Mo'nique looks like Jabba the Hut and is not to be taken as an indicator of class and popular culture. Case and point: Charm School.

2. "Big" is not an and never will be. Fact of the matter is that slimmer females are more attractive. Not just because they look better, but also because a slim body indicates an active and healthy lifestyle which is also attractive.

3. "Being yourself" seems to be a new trend today, which emphasizes positive self image, with some dieting and some excercise to create not necessarily a perfect physical speciemen but a healthier individual. I'll term this normal. Problem is 2/3 of America is obese/overweight so normal is big.


[EDIT: Why are you blaming the media? Do you not understand that consumers drive the media? This means they show us what we will watch and pay for and pay to see, so next time you blame the media remember that it isnt 3 guys in an office deciding what goes on TV. Its the 300 million that watch it!]

Answer 6

Don't be mad at her. Don't feel bad. Big or small, a lot of women are insecure about their height/weight. In a society where every other commercial is a Victoria's Secret or thin woman in a bikini, (you know the ones I'm talking about), even when you go online, you can't escape the "diet ads" showing a fat woman turning into a thin woman! Just know that this co-worker is insecure with herself. (Sounds like, anyway.) She can't categorize EVERY man as liking big women! Every guy varies...

Answer 7

Sweetie, there is someone for everyone. If a guy likes 'em big, he'll go for that type, if he likes 'em smaller that's what he'll date. Thin women have been ruling the day for quite a while, and the tide is turning with there being a backlash against rail thin models on the runway. That is probably what Monique was getting at on the BET awards, if she talked about it at all.

Answer 8

I agree with you. If this woman you speak of was truly comfortable in her own skin and felt attractive she would not feel the need to put others down.

Basically society suffers under the delusion that if one thing is attractive, it's opposite MUST be unattractive. Therefore, if thin is beautiful then fat is ugly. If fat is beuatiful then thin is ugly etc. It's really a very silly, narrow and boring way to look at the world.

Answer 9

Trust me, Big is not in! Men prefer women that that have slender legs and small rear ends. The big woman is probably saying this so that she can feel more comfortable with her obesity.

Answer 10

You may be upset that she offended you as a skinny person but larger women have had to withstand redicule for many, many years now. Try to see it from her point of view: the media, the magazines, tv, men, everyone....they all say skinny women are beautiful - skinny is what men want, that is what is sexy. NOWHERE do you see messages in those mediums telling NORMAL sized women that they are normal and are sexy as well. It's tough to deal with from day to day so she was trying to make herself feel better. Granted, she shouldn't do it at the expense of you or others but she probably felt she's been dealing w/ the same judgement for years. What you got was just a small taste of what bigger women have to deal with all the time. I think it's so sad that women are pitted against women in this society. Women should be FOR one another, standing beside one another to say - we are all gorgeous, inside and out. We all have something to offer, even if we all can't be a Nicole Ritchie. Yet, you see big women and small women alike criticizing and making fun of one another - very sad. You shouldn't build yourself up by dragging someone else down - shows a lack of maturity and depth.

I SLIGHTLY agree that the tide seems to be turning a little in terms of what media is putting out these days. It used to ONLY be super skinny people in commercials, magazines,on t.v., etc. Now, DOVE, for example has done their "Campaign for Real Beauty" that shows normal, healthy women as beautiful. I think it's a great step in the right direction.