I have a friend who I have known for many years, but we never went to the same school or anything just hung out with each other alot. Now I've noticed that she just calls me to tell me about her life and shows off about it. Another thing is I feel like she's purposely trying to make me mad and or jealous. When I try to talk about my life she doesn't even let me, and it seems like she just calls me when she's bored. So I'm like a back up friend. I dont want to start an argument so I dont want to tell her how I feel. What do you recommend I do next time she calls?
2007-06-28 10:49:58 · 12 answers · asked by ♠lAUGhTERZ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Maybe you can be unavailable once in awhile. When you talk about your life, does she quickly interrupt with what's going on in her life that's similar? Might be that she doesn't know what she's doing is hurting you.
Had a similar situation with my friend a long while ago. Even though I told her how I felt, it didn't really change that much, but at least I got it off my chest. I felt better, but we didn't talk for a good week after that!
Sometimes in life we have people who only care about themselves. I wouldn't consider this girl a good friend of mine if she's only calling when she's bored, but I would continue to just listen to her. Just keep your conversations short and try to find more friends who are more willing to listen to you. I wouldn't drop her as a friend, though. Just keep things sort of easy with her and don't expect her to change.
If you feel like you can talk to her about this without hurting her, then go right ahead. But chances are if she's so selfabsorbed, she's going to see herself as the victim in all of this and make you the wrong one. Good luck!
2007-06-28 11:04:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is truly your friend, you will take all see does and says respectfully. This is why you became friends in the first place since you did not have to be friends, not going to the same schools or anything. Sounds like you are bored with her and maybe a little put-out. You have the right to tell her your true feelings about her actions in a "FRIEND'S" manner, but be prepared for her to become defensive, because thats only natural.
If you really are sick of her..........then let her go on about her business. Its up to you whether or not you explain your actions to her at the time.
If you value your friendship and will miss her, then talk it out. If she is a "TRUE FRIEND", this will all work out and you two will laugh about it later.
2007-06-28 17:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by jmheidi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend that I did go to high school with. we were really close in school but after graduation, she would only call me when she was bored. she would say i bought this new watch, guess how much it cost? as if i cared what she paid for a watch. then it was look at my new diamond ring the boyfriend proposed, to bad yours hadn't proposed yet. well we'd been together for two months i certainly didn't care that he hadn't, and i didn't care how big or how much her ring cost. all i wanted to be was happy for her since she was proposed to but she jacked up the happy time. then i finally did get engaged and shared all of my wedding plans and ideas with her, and she decided to get married two months before me and she stole all my ideas. so i quit calling her. if she called i would be nice and keep it short, but i wouldn't call her. finally she got the hint and she doesn't bother me anymore. you don't need friends like that. friends who only call to rub something in or talk about them selfs and never ask you if you are okay aren't worth your time.
2007-06-28 17:56:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't answer. I was stuck in that situation with a very long time friend. I hung in there and funny thing is, she was the one who dropped me! Once she was out of my life, I realized just how selfish and controlling she was and found my life was much better without her! Good luck!
2007-06-28 17:55:50 · answer #4 · answered by jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a really good friend and I think you should tell her how you feel. She's probably gonna be pissed and think you are being selfish. The other thing you could do is pick up the phone, listen to her for a second, and then tell her you have to go... interrupt her so she realizes she just yaps about her damn self.
2007-06-28 17:57:15 · answer #5 · answered by NRT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok i totally kno what you are talking about and no one wants to feel like a back up friend. so i mean when she calls next time you can either just right off start about your life && that way she has to listen to you if she wants to talk about hers &&/or you could just tell her be like everytime you call now it seems like all you want to talk about is yourself && lately i have just got the drift that i am a back up friend someone who youonly talk to b/c you have no one else. just try it. BEST OF LUCK :)
2007-06-28 17:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My lil' sis had the same issue. The girl is doing that cause she's jealous of you. Either email her to let her know that you don't appreciate the treatment or leave you alone. Or don't answer her calls.
2007-06-28 18:01:52 · answer #7 · answered by thisisme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say 'Hey -- do you just call me to brag about yourself? Friendship is supposed to go two ways'. If you guys work it out, fine. But if not, just don't answer. I had a friend like that once, a real big jerk. I'm better off without her.
2007-06-28 17:54:57 · answer #8 · answered by _Viv_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her your parents are getting annoyed of her calling. THat usually works.. and then make it seem like you really srry about that and you wish she could call you and stuff.. but there so "stricked" lol.. it works most of the time.
2007-06-28 18:01:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and get talking about yourself or something you can both express an opinion on.
2007-06-28 18:09:08 · answer #10 · answered by Emerald 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋