second pregnancy and scared outta my wits and comforting advice???

Question

hi all
well my first pregnancy wasnt a good experience i remember i was pushing for just over 3 hours (first stage was 9 hours ish) and the doc cam in every 1 was shoutin at me to push and doc sed if not out in 3 pushes hes gonna intervine. i also remember the midwife sayin she was gonna put a drip in which will give me more pain so id wanna push more. another point is my last pethadine shot was 4 hours b4 started pushin n wasnt aloud n e more n gas n air wasnt doin n e thin by that stage n had no epidural., any way the final result was my son being born 10lb 12oz and on his way out his shoulders got stuck and there were 2 midwives and 1 doc tuggin him out. anyway im now preg with no. 2 and was already brickin havin to go through same exp now i find that they gonna monitor me n stuff coz my son was big and i also need physio as my back is in agony due to fallin down stairs and havin suspected broken coccyx. anyway worried now i wont get the birth i want and that everything is........

... go completely wrong and ill end up havin a c section which i am completely petrified of (mainly the needle major fear). anyway i really wanted homebirth but i worry im not gonna get this plus either way im really scared wether i have a vb or c section. this pregnancy is planned and wouldnt change for the world but when i was planning it i totally forgot just how bad giving birth actually was we just wanted to get preg again but now im preg i realized what i did go though. please has n e 1 got n e comforting advice??

Answer 1

First, not every pregnancy is the same. You should be prepared and make sure you have the medical needs covered, just in case, but try not to be paranoid. I've heard it said that the first and fourth deliveries are the hardest, so maybe you'll follow suit and luck out.

With regard to c-section. It really is okay. My first was a C, my second was VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section). Believe me vb is much more tiring. You won't see a needle if you don't want to because they're behind you for the spinal block. Explain your concerns and anxieties -- they'll probably be very sensitive to your fears.

The body has a short memory for pain for precisely the reason that we'd never have subsequent children if it didn't. Good luck.

Answer 2

hi there! I'm 39 weeks pregnant with my second baby and i am totally terrified too! I am going to the same maternity hospital, even though i had a bad experience there (12 hour labour confined to a bed, constant monitoring, meconium in waters so was threatened with forceps after only 30 mins pushing, episiotomy and now have slight vaginal prolapse!), but i am arming myself with LOADS more questions and i am more aware of my choices this time round. Make sure you have a very detailed birth plan, and make sure your birthing partner is also aware of what you do and don't want done. I'm sure that as you had a big baby before, your body is already prepared and your labour will be easier this time round. It was just bad luck that your baby got stuck, the chances of it happening again are extremely low! Good luck and i hope all goes well for you x x x x x x x

Answer 3

You know you can VB a 10lb, 12oz baby so don't let your providers scare you into thinking you need special care for large babies! You don't! You've done it before! You could do it again, and easier! They say that subsequent VBs are easier than prior ones, on average.

You're a super-mom! You make big, strong babies and you can push them out too. Of course labor is longer with larger babies... they take their time and you should too. Longer labors mean less painful contractions and less chances of tearing or damage to baby from quick descent. It's GOOD to have a longer labor!

Average first time moms push for up to three hours... that means that some first time moms push for 20 minutes and some push for more than three hours and it's all perfectly normal.

I wouldn't put up with a doctor like that one. I hope you're not seeing him anymore. The midwife is a great idea and should be able to help you get what you want. You could also consider hiring a doula (labor assistant whose entire purpose is to make sure you are emotionally, physically, and informationally supporting before, during, and immediately after your birth).

I don't know about the midwife using a scare tactic like pain to get you to push more! That's horrible! You need to be comfortable with your experience, not fearing what they'll do next! Consider your options for care providers and pick one who really fits will with your birth plans and desires. Remember, this is YOUR birth and YOU have ultimate control over what they do. They are all there to serve YOU, not the other way around. They accomodate your needs.

The doctors do NOT need to monitor you constantly because of your previous baby's size! They can do intermittent monitoring like usual. There is nothing wrong with you or your baby just because your last one was large. There was nothing wrong with you or your baby because you had a long labor! You had an amazing birth and your story is the type that can empower women to know that they CAN do it without pain meds, with a large baby, with a long labor.

As for the sore coccyx, it will be important for you to labor and deliver off of your back, so the lithotomy position and sitting will be even more problematic than normal. Ask your midwife for her suggestions.

A previously large baby you VBed yourself is not a reason to change what you want in a birth. Just educate yourself and choose your attendants wisely.

Answer 4

My first labour lasted 6 days and i was pushing for 3 hours with a 9 lb baby, next time i was absolutely petrified. I was really suprised though, I only had 1/2 hour of really bad pains before the birth and the pushing stage only lasted 20 mins! He was another 9lb baby. It will be much easier for you this time round. Good luck!

Answer 5

i am not surprised that your nervous! that experience sounds just terrible! however i can tell you from experience that what you put up with with your first baby, from staff etc, your a lot less likely to put up with your second! also i know that pethidine can make you and the baby feel tired and sleepy! i am really sure that this time will be better they are aware that you have big babies now so Will monitor you more closely and be prepared! also because your body has been through birth before it already has a path so labour should be shorter! i would also suggest that you have someone you know and trust with you during birth! if your in doubt talk to your consultant and explain your fears! i hope every thing goes well for you! its important that you try to have your fears dealt with as if you approach birth tense it will make your body,less able to cope! use the rest of your pregnancy doing research into what kind of ways you could relax! and do a birth plan! good luck and congratulations.

Answer 6

Have you considered a homebirth, there will no medical interuptions or people shouting at you in your home?

Any concerns you have about a homebirth, are addressed in this excellent website:

www.homebirth.org.uk


I can see no reason for you not to have a homebirth, when the shoulders got stuck though your birth, did you try different positions? Eg. squatting or kneeling or on all fours. Sometimes this helps 'unstuck' the baby.

I hope you get the birth you want.

Answer 7

that is big for your first baby, my first was 8lb 4oz, but my second was 12lb 6oz. However my second birth was quicker and easier. The should monitor you more closely as you have big babies. As the may want to start you off early maybe at 38 weeks, cos your 2nd baby maybe bigger, which they may suggest a C section as your last baby nearly got stuck and they wouldn't want you to or your baby to go through it again. Chat with your midwife about this option. But who knows what can happen, the second labour is normally easier. Good luck whatever happens, you will be fine and stop worrying or you will be in hospital with high blood pressure!!

Answer 8

Hi I know exactly how you feel. My second baby got his shoulders lodged in my pubic bone too. I can still hear the sirens going off and all the midwives rushing in, rolling me all over the bed, twisting and pulling my son out. I honestly thought i was going to lose my baby boy ooh and the pain.
My first labour was relatively easy she was a healthy 7lb baby girl and came out easily. My boy however was 9lb 5 and he really did put me through it.
I guess what i am trying to say is that every labour is different so don't panic you could sail through this. We must just be suckers for punishment but i suppose its all worth it in the end.
Good luck and congratulations

Answer 9

In my experience, the second one is much easier, first one went on for ages, but second son just slid out! Just remember you've got all the medical help on hand if you're in the hospital, and they do as much as they can to help any pain. Wishing you all the best. Once the birth is over the joy of having family makes you forget the pain. Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 10

Wow! That medical team sounds incredibly bad - perhaps they should try a different career (like concentration camp guard) where their particular skills might fit better. Anyway, second pregnancies generally go much smoother, easier and quicker than the first (your body is kind of 'broken in'), so it should be a much happier experience - particularly if you get a gyn you trust and like, and go to a better hospital (preferably one that regards patients as people in need of care rather than annoyances..) Perhaps your husband might sit in on this one so he can reason with some of these flaming a-holes if they give you any grief this time around. Tell him to bring his brass knuckles.