We enjoy each other a lot sexually but I find myself not wanting it if he wants it. If I want it I like going after it but if he wants it I just push away. What is wrong with me? I could start touching him and he gets turned on and I enjoy that but when I am not the one making the moves I notice I do not want to be sexual. I like to tease but I like to be dominated. I feel confused on what to do. I do not want to make him feel unwanted but I am not turned on when he wants it. If he let me make the moves all the time we would have sex every day, but he makes them and I get turned off I guess.
2007-06-28 10:30:50 · 17 answers · asked by tiffaney1080 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you're a normal woman. you never want it when we want it. that's why we get it elsewhere.
2007-06-28 10:37:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
It's probably about control. You might find that you need this kind of control in many aspects of your life. Nothing wrong with wanting to keep control of you life, but in marriage it can be a problem because it's more about giving over control in a two way relationship.
It might take awhile for you to figure out the reasons for this. I'm sure the time and effort will be worth it. I might suggest counciling, but there's also the change that counciling will take you down the wrong path. Maybe just read up on the issue, there are bookstores full of this kind of information. I'm sorry I can't recommend a good book, but then again, I don't think you should rely on one book for the answer anyway. Get a bunch of information and make up your own mind.
Good luck!
2007-06-28 12:20:28 · answer #2 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's one of three things...
1. His moves suck
2. You really aren't attracted to him
3. You're a control freak.
It sounds like you need to be in control. I think you need to work on this for the longevity of your relationship or any others you may have in the future. I know a lot of women who marry less attractive men because they HAVE to have control. I'm not sure why.
They end up having affairs because they have the safety they want for a marriage but the passion and attraction isn't there for the same reason. Women Marry safety and sleep with danger... Thats why I am never safe anymore and work hard at being a bad-***... I get rewarded well for my behavior. I did the safe thing for 16 years and got cheated on. He was a bad-***... LOL
When women learn to reward the behavior they want on a daily basis they will get the whole package, until then, they self-sabotage their relationships.
I have slept with married women(when I was not myself after I was cheated on) and I heard the women complain that 'he was so boring and unattractive... but they 'loved' him... LOL so pathetic. They couldn't even see that they loved the safety not the man. They would sleep with me but make him pay all the bills and demand that he 'keep in line'. I guess I don't mind as long as I'm the guy who's having fun, not the guy paying all her bills. LOL
Good Luck!
2007-06-28 11:08:38 · answer #3 · answered by Mindlessfun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....I think you're doing a good job of setting things up to make him feel like he's not wanted....or that you are only caring about your needs and not his.
You sound a little controlling....a little selfish. Do you expect to always get your way? Sounds like the characteristic of someone that's just like that. I'm not accusing, just guessing, but that is my take. Then when something goes sour they are the first ones to point the finger.
You'd better deal with this, because money issues and sex issues are a big hot spot in a relationship. No offense but you'd better get this petty crap under control because this will blow up in your face real fast, and you'd better not come moaning and groaning here looking for sympathy.
I can't stand selfish, self-serving people. There's no room on this planet for them.
2007-06-28 10:44:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you like "the thrill of the chase". You are not turned on by the fact it's so easy to get when he is the one making the moves. You still want that not so easy to come by and mysterious feeling. That's normal. Just make sure those feelings are strictly for your husband. I believe you would rather "turn him on" instead of having him already "turned on" without you having to do anything. It's sexier that way.
2007-06-28 10:48:49 · answer #5 · answered by footblljunkie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Confusing for your husband. Try to work it out. Seems like you have a good relationship, but I know the teasing gets old.
2007-06-28 10:39:36 · answer #6 · answered by ron-D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds normal to me. Do you know how you paralyze a woman (man) from the neck down? You marry them.
2007-06-28 10:38:58 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then you have a control problem. You want the chase, but not the results of it. You want to be in charge, but only provisionally. When it's important to you, it's important; when it's important to him, it's crap.
2007-06-28 10:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
buy a vibrator and lots of battries. also a webcam. you can make some good money that way.
2007-06-28 10:51:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want sex all the time but don't want it when your boytoy does....so which is it? you like it sometimes or you like it all the time?
2007-06-28 11:00:09 · answer #10 · answered by Hotwad 980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm gonna have to agree with Mars on this one.
2007-06-28 10:39:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋