I'm talking about family things (helping with yardwork, painting, etc. or anything else, suggestions are welcome) I was out with some single friends and we were discussing this. I'm the youngest of 3 and the only single one. Everytime I ask my family for help with anything their excuse is "we're too busy with the kids" or "we have other plans". However, they always ask me to do things because "I'm single and don't have any responsibilities". Does anybody else have this problem?
2007-06-28 10:09:25 · 18 answers · asked by whenwillthelambsstopscreaming 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Don't remember anything like that. Must just be you.
2007-06-28 10:12:17 · answer #1 · answered by Gaspode 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is the general assumption of single people.however there is some truth to what they tell you too.it is easier for them to not have to pack up the kids and themselves and have you just come over there.easier for who though.sometimes it is a bigger inconveinence for the single person because they do not have anyone to help them, they do everything themselves which means a single person spends as much or more time being busy.when you want help maybe you can ask in a different way such as "i know you guys are busy and i do not know when you are available but i really need help doing blah,blah,blah. when do you think you would be able to help me?"then see what the answer is. if its still,i dont know ill get back to you , wait a few days and call them back and ask, "did you decide when would be a good time for you to help me? "if they say no then, i would assume they are self absorbed and selfish. i have had your problem but i never ask anyone to help me because it hurts when no one seems to want to help you. there are many times i have spoken about something and a friend will say'Oh my gosh,why didn't you call me. i wouldve come to help you.dont go into the attic by yourself.what if something happens." i just dont have the habit of asking people to help me, like i said because in the past, i always got answers like you get so i dont bother but as i have gotten older i have learned how to say things so that i can tell who is lying and who really will help when they have time.try it before you give up.also next time they try to run that baloney about your being single and have no responsibilities, say something like," you know, it amazes me how you always say that! how do you figure i have no responsibilities? because from where i sit i am alone with ALL the responsibility . there is no one to help me do it so if i do not do it it will not get done.at least you guys have each other to help each other" see what they say. to me, husbands do the yardwork,ladies clean the house bathe the kids do the laundry shopping cooking,men repair things,some take out the trash and some wash the cars or take it to the car wash and paint etc.guess what !?we single people HAVE TO DO IT ALL so that is a terrible misconception that people have of us having no responsibilities,dont you think so.?
2007-06-28 10:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by tigercub1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup. Had the same issue. It was like why not ask the one who just happens to be here. They didn't realize that she did jack squat. I think it's hurt her more in the long run though. I mean moving out of the house has really opened their eyes to what little she did and she's paying up now.
Anyway, just say no and that you don't think what they're doing is fair. Just because you're single doesn't mean that your time is any less valuable.
2007-06-28 10:28:00 · answer #3 · answered by jukebox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not single but I don't have kids and yes, people take advantage of that all the time. Hey, I chose not to have kids. I know how birth control works. Just because their lazy *** didn't use it and now have to take care of kids doesn't make it my fault. Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't have a life and other things to do. You're preaching to the converted on that one.
2007-06-28 10:15:17 · answer #4 · answered by Ham B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The general feeling is that all single people have lots of money, lots of free time, don't have care in the world and are selfish We are expected to pick up the slack for everyone else and no one cares if it causes a burden on us.
2007-06-28 12:42:57 · answer #5 · answered by xg6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Even though I am single that doesn't mean I don't have responsibilities and if I don't feel like helping or have other plans I say no.
2007-06-28 10:13:37 · answer #6 · answered by Nico 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kind of, but not in the smae way. I'm always beeing j=hit up for hook ups by friends going on first dates but don't want to be alone so they both bring a freind. I have gone on countless dates like this, soooo lame. I swear I even had one spend 45minutes talking to only my boobs the whole time.
2007-06-28 10:13:09 · answer #7 · answered by poladottie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family does the same thing. I just broke off an engagement (my choice)and they think that I'm still mourning so they try to 'Include me" so I dont feel so alone....which I'm the only one of my sibs whose single so it makes me feel worse to do things when them and their sig others...
2007-06-28 10:17:49 · answer #8 · answered by Stevie Nix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not single but I feel constantly taken advantage of because I'm stupid. I think that's different than your problem though.......
2007-06-28 10:12:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You forgot a boss asking you to stay after hours because you don't have kids to take care of.
2007-06-28 10:12:34 · answer #10 · answered by manonski 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yea, when I was single I did. I started telling them I had plans with friends and couldn't do it. "Sorry, ask ____." It worked.
2007-06-28 10:15:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋