My parents are divorced, and that is effecting my personality and relationships with others, what do i do??

Question

my parents have divorced since i am two, and all they do is fight.
this past year the fightting has effected me so much that i have started to become very angry, and upset. i try to tell them, but all they do is talk bad about the other parent.
i am always in the middle. and all my relationships with anyone are going down hill becuase of their example.. waht do i do?

Answer 1

Forgive them for not taking the parenting test before they decided to have a child. Everyone is human but I am sure both of them love you, they just hate each other. You will have some of that in your life even if you had perfect parents. Just forgive them for being human.

Answer 2

Well, this is tough to answer. Are you under 18 and still live at home or both homes? If so, then jsut tell them that you don't wan to hear it. You are the child of both of them and they should each be thankful they ever met each other cause they were lucky enough to create you. Tell them you don't want, need or appreciate anything they have to say negative about the other.

Let them know that if they can't say something nice then please don't say anything.

You will not take sides youlove each of them equally, and when they start talking bad aboutthe other it makes you lose respect for them.

As for you own relationships, sadly you will need therapy becasue you have had very bad relationship role models. Try to be patient with anybody you are with.

Answer 3

I totally understand you. My parents just recently got divorced and i felt exactly how you feel now. I was angry, unhappy, and pushing everyone who cared about me away. I just wanted to be left alone. But what helped me was to force myself to not let myself push people away. The ones in your life are your life support. And you may not feel like you need help from people or they wont understand (and they probably wont for the most part) but let them try to help. Surround yourself with friends and close family that love you. They will be the ones you get you through whatever you're feeling. Have fun with friends, stay busy, be active.
Another thing to do is try again to talk to your parents and ask them not to talk badly about the other. Trust me...and i had to do the same. B/c them bad mouthing the other isn't helping you. Its hurting you and your relationship with other..and tell them that. They are your parents and they love and dont want to hurt you anymore than they are with the divorce. But let your parents know how you're feeling. Its not healthy for you to isolate yourself and keep those feeling inside. Trust me...once you do...you'll start to feel better.
Well i hope some of this will help. I know how hard divorce is. It sucks..really bad. But time is what will heal you. It takes forever it may seem..but its the best medicine. Good luck.,..hope it works out

Answer 4

hi there oh sweetheart there is nothing worse than having to parents that you love tear chunks of eachother .....ok so how about getting them into a room together and take control of the situation and say this time its not about either of youit about me so listen up parents and tell them straight to there faces that it is tearing you apart and that it is affecting youre life ,that youre not going to be piggy in the middle any more and if they want to slag each other off then go and find someone else to listen to you 2 as you have had enough of it ..........right i can imagine youre thinking WHAT !? yeah of course im going to manage that ........yes you can ........its the only way that you are going to get them to take notice they both probably are so lost with the arguement with each other that they are not thinking of how youre feeling and i dont care how old you are if they are hurting you with this ....you as a person and a adult (or future adult )have the right not to be dragged into this ..........and by all accounts it should waken youre parents up and stop there arguing .......and for you get some counselling and that will help you !!.....good luck and take care xx

Answer 5

I am really sorry to hear that. My parents are also divorced, but luckily get along better now than when they were married. All I can suggest is you sit them down... seperatly I would imagine and tell them how much it's hurting you to be felt like you are being used in the middle. It is unfair to be subjected to that and tell them they need to grow up. Sometimes people just need to hear it from the one being affected more than anyone. Best of luck. Keep your head up.

Answer 6

You didn't say how old you are. But looks like you are a minor as you still live with one of them.

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do as you still depend on them. Many young people are in similar situations and indeed, the effects will be long lasting. But you have to keep telling yourself that you will not grow up with VICTIM mentality and blame everything bad in the future on your childhood. People who abuse drugs, alcohol and treat others badly have victim mentality as nothing is their fault but others'.

If you have grandparents, ask if you can stay with them.

Answer 7

write them a letter - it is very easy for parents to dismiss a child's conversation, but it is very hard to ignore the written word - let them know in detail how you feel about the fighting, and putting you in the middle. Be descriptive, let all your emotions pour out....Request ALL of you see a family therapist.

In the meantime, there are teen crisis lines, check the front pages of your phone book, they can help refer you to someone to talk to.

Answer 8

you need to ask yourself, are you living for them or yourself, Divorce is not a pleasant thing for parents but I know it is even worse on the kids, sorry about that,,,

you need to tell them that just because they couldnt live together that you love both of them and you are no longer going to listen to either one of them speak about the other,, and I would change the way the talk is going to just tell them about your life,,

we are in life what we learn from it, learn to be good, knowledge is power

Answer 9

My parents are divorced also. You just have to realize that it's not your fault no matter how much you think it is. Ignore it if you can. And realize that you are not your parents so you don't automatically have to end up like them.

Answer 10

You cannot change other people, you can only change yourself. Ask your parents to arrange counseling for you, and go. If you don't deal with these issues now they will still be with you ten and twenty years from now. Deal with them now, get counseling, and know, you can't change your past, you can only change your future. Go for it!