Married to a highly successful man who cheated on me with his employee. She's gone but within last 6 months he's lost company, homes, cars and now me. I have tried to handle it all, but I am so hurt and angry. We have a 3year old. I have told my husband that I hate him and that I wished I could never see him again (not around the child of course!) the house we are in now will soon go and he has made no real plans on where we would go but bought land to build on, for us. Yesterday I found a place for me and our child. I cry and am deeply hurt. I don't want to go, but I know I can't be with him until I get rid of my anger and could possibly entertain giving him my life again. I think he is just so depressed and convinced I hate him he doesn't even think there is a future. I think distancing myself is the right thing. I don't want to be a doormat, but I also fear I am ending any chance of repairing this mess and being with him on the right terms. We've been together 12 years. Is it over?
2007-06-28 09:54:17 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Man have you got it rough. I feel for you to an extent. I mean are you sure that your husband is going to continue cheating? You had better be sure of this before you ruin what there is left of your marriage. Depression will lead to allot of different things (including cheating) why not discuss therapy? As you state it, he can afford it. Anyway, depending on his answer:ie yes / He wants to keep what he's got and is willing to work things out or No / call it quits and call it another 12 years of learning experience. Why would you open your mouth and say things that you didn't mean on such a serious topic? This alone could be causing his depression. Sounds to me like you both have some growing up to do and allot of truthful conversations that need to take place before giving up.
2007-06-28 10:05:22 · answer #1 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there and I want to echo an earlier answer. Get counseling. I only went to a few sessions and it was so good for me. My counselor helped me sort through my thoughts when everything seemed to hard to sort through. I found that when I was under the pain and misery of the end of my 14 year marriage I was not able to think clearly. There was just so much, so many decisions to make and I just felt so hopeless and afraid for my children. Meeting with her helped me sort through it all and formulate a plan of action.
You don't need to know today if your leaving will be the end of it all. See a counselor and go from there.
God bless you and your child.
2007-06-28 17:05:25 · answer #2 · answered by darth_momm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the perfect thing, he gets what he deserves. think about it!
he had everything, career, home..wife, child etc. and he decided to cheat on you with that other women..thinking & feeling he wouldnt get caught and nothing bad would happen..well i honestly feel this is HIS karma, not yours..you need to think about you & your son. Don't cry about this as hard as it can be..god will bless you for being a faithful wife & mother one day. Don't worry.
what goes around comes back around.
(dont be susprezed, that when you finally moved and are happy with someone else, he will come back into your life, let's just say, he got what was handed to him & you can show him, your happier withoput him.
god bless & good luck.. i hate to hear these stories..so sad..but i know you'll make it through.
oxoxoxoxo
2007-06-28 17:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by ♥!BabyDoLL!♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, I don't think the end goal should be to "give him your life" again. Ugh. Your life is your own. And you have every right to feel the way you do.
Separation and time is what you need. You would be foolish to stay for the sake of staying. If reconcilliation is possible, it will happen. But give yourself some time to work through your feelings. It may take a while, but clarity can be found.
2007-06-28 16:59:21 · answer #4 · answered by Courtney 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it would not be wise to do anything without telling him what is going on with you first
as easy as it would be to just walk away, you have to dig down and do some emotional work, on both sides.
2007-06-28 17:31:51 · answer #5 · answered by Shake-Zula 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely.
You are a very strong woman to act on it.
God bless your heart.
"It is better to be HAPPY ALONE than
be MISERABLE TOGETHER..."
2007-06-28 16:57:53 · answer #6 · answered by Ram M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
leave him as your husband and support him as a friend
2007-06-28 16:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by Life is FUn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling and go from there...
2007-06-28 16:58:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you know if it's over.
And you know it's over.
2007-06-28 17:12:03 · answer #9 · answered by Spiral Wizard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its over unless you don't want it to be over*...
2007-06-28 22:09:06 · answer #10 · answered by dca2003311@yahoo.com 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋