I am 7 months pregnant and out relationship is great. Tonight he was going golfing with a his best friend. I asked how long the course would take to do he said 5 hrs. I know full well it's only 2 maybe 3....only because I've done that course before and I'm horrible at golf. So I called him and asked why he would lie to me about that. He didn't answer and said he had to go. What the hell? We've never had any problems and there are no other cheating signs.....as I know that's what everyone is going to say. I told him I wanted him to answer me as It made me very upset. I'm really upset about this.
2007-06-28 09:38:50 · 20 answers · asked by Sara M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hormones. maybe he just wanted to spend a little bit more time away from your raging hormones and is going out with his golfing buddies for a drink. no need to panic.
2007-06-28 09:42:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't feel like he's cheating, and he's shown you no other signs of any kind of michievous behavior, then you truly have to ask yourself what you're really mad about. If your husband likes golf, then HE LIKES GOLF...there's nothing to be upset about. He knows that he has a child on the way, and he probably is starting to feel the pressures of becomming a father. Golf may be his way of relieving anxiety. He probably wants to stay at the golf course a little longer and doesn't know how to tell you. There's nothing wrong with staying with the guys a little longer, right?
However, if you're feeling like you want him to spend more time with you, especially in the few months before the baby (cause pregnancy brings lot of emotions with it), then TELL HIM. Be clear about how you feel...
Now, if it becomes a habit of always golfing for 5 hours, or if this becomes a frequent excuse of his, then maybe you should pay closer attention to the situation. But if he likes golf, and he likes to stay late a couple of times, then don't worry and nag. You guys have a long life together, and if you start accusations and arguements now, then they'll only get worse. Tell him how you feel, listen to how he feels, and then compromise.
2007-06-28 16:53:22 · answer #2 · answered by Valerie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you jump to conclusions I will tell you that my father goes to play golf alot, and when they are done a game of golf all the guys meet up for a few beers afterwards. Maybe he thought that you would be upset if he told you that so he just said 5 hours. Don't read too much into it. It very well could be possible that he is just having buddy time and it is completely innocent. If there are no other signs of him cheating then I don't think that he is
2007-07-02 16:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't assume he's cheating.
I know when my guy goes golfing it takes quite a while - longer when it's with friends. Much as they deny it, guys like to shoot the breeze and chit-chat, too.
And, as others have said (and I couldn't agree more) - he probably just needed a break from you - which is normal and natural, though very difficult to convey in a nice, loving way. "Love ya babe, but I need to get the heck away from you for a while!" I don't think you would have taken that very well, either.
Like I said, if there are no other signs of cheating and you guys have a great relationship, relax. He's human. He fibbed. Cut him some slack. Anyone who expects 100%, total honesty ALL the time in a relationship is either nuts, codependent, or both.
Congrats on the baby!
2007-06-28 16:50:13 · answer #4 · answered by Courtney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He said it takes two more hours to play the coursethan it does when you played it and you have decided that he's cheating. Wow. That is messed up right there. Have there been strange numbers on his cell? women calling and hanging up? Hickeys? Anything that would point you toward cheating other than wanting to be out 5 hours instead of 3? If not you need to rein in the cheating accusations and just let him play some golf.
2007-06-28 16:48:47 · answer #5 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've played certain courses in 2 hours and the same course in 7 hours. It depends who you're playing with and how crowded the course is. He also might get something to eat or hang out at the bar with the guys for a little while, no need to worry. Chalk another one up to hormones.
By the way, my new wife of 2 months is 2 months pregnant (honeymoon baby) and has flashes of the exact same thing. I think it's cause she wants to go out and do things too, that's why I usually just hang out with her instead of doing things that she can't join in on but you have to let us out once in a while!!
2007-06-28 17:03:01 · answer #6 · answered by wicky_busstop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What? He didn't mention the two hour break at the 8th hole for a few beers with the guys at the bar usually at every golf course? Shame on him. Don't read anymore into it then there is. Give him a break as I'm sure that you need every once in a while. He's just human and will love you more for it.
2007-06-28 16:46:10 · answer #7 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well - guess you are headed for divorce then!!!
Come on - three hours for golf? First you go there - then if you are any sort of golfer you hit the range for a bucket of balls, then chip and put. When you have done that you head for the first tee.
On a four ball it can take a long time especially if someone is a high handicapper. When it is done you have a few beers and talk the game over. Then you go home to what you hope is a loving wife.
Don't let your suspicious and jealous mind ruin a good marriage - please!!!!!
2007-06-28 16:45:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is feeling VERY trapped and controlled and he is trying to say that he needs space and independence. Unfortunately, by calling him you have told him one more time that he has no control, he has no space and he has no independence. He is out golfing for the very reason that he needs time on his own. He has to have it.
Pregnancy is a VERY different experience for guys than it is for gals. For a woman, it's all about her and her baby and her feelings and her changes and her and her and her ... where is the guy in all of this? What is there about him? Not a single thing. You had better start focusing some attention on his needs or he is going to find a way to exert his own freedom ... either an affair or a divorce.
2007-06-28 16:44:34 · answer #9 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One of the reasons guys go golfing is so they can have time to themselves... you know, peace and quiet. Is there a way he can express this to you without coming across as offensive? Also, guys do not like to have every minute of their time being clocked by a woman at home. Perhaps he just needs to exercise a little freedom a bit. I say don't worry about it.
2007-06-28 16:44:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guy lies like that and for him I think it's a power thing. He likes knowing something I don't. (that he knows of) He also lies to make himself look better, or not upset people. But in your case I would think maybe he wanted to go do something with the buddy after but didn't want to get any grief from you. I wouldn't worry about it too much. But tell him that if he has nothing to hide then he needs to be honest and open. That's a major part of a relationship. Don't stress, you and the baby don't need that right now. (You can tell him that too!)
2007-06-28 16:46:28 · answer #11 · answered by pretty_mommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋