Almost 2 weeks ago, my husband left my 6-month old daughter and myself to go be gay. Rather than keep up his commitments, he's followed his wang and left his daughter. Now he's off doing who knows what. I feel the need to get even. Yes, I know its petty, but I just want a revenge lay or something.
How do I get even sufficiently without losing my dignity?
2007-06-28 09:34:04 · 29 answers · asked by madelinemoo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no revenge for this kind of betrayal. It wouldn't matter if he left you for a man or a woman the fact is he left. The best thing you could do for yourself and your daughter is take a nice vacation somewhere that you can relax and regroup with people that you care about and while you are gone tell him to come get the boxes you packed for him and to leave you alone. You'll work out some thing about your daughter if he's interested but your biggest gift to yourself could be finding the right person to be with because clearly it wasn't him. Live well and do better and don't let this cloud your life indefinitely.
2007-06-28 09:41:45 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I am very sorry to hear this happened to you.....I wish I knew the right words to say, but the truth is I don't know how I could deal with something like this....I cannot even imagine the feeling of betrayal you must be experiencing...! Oh dear...!
I send you a hug and hope you feel better soon.
I also agree with most of the other answers and think that the idea of "getting back" or of getting revenge--although perfectly understandable -- is not a good idea. You need to stay calm and focus on what's important here: YOUR well-being as well as your child's !
You will be in my prayers....Take care of yourself --(and try to get counseling or therapy if you feel the anger doesn't go away or at least diminish in a while...)
2007-06-28 10:04:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's stupid!!
Too go sleep with someone else to get back at him? That's stupid and childish. Not only will you be hurting only yourself but HELLO??? He doesn't want you so he will not care what the hell you do or who you do it with. I can't believe some of the answers I saw on here encouraging such an dumb act.
Girl you are going to have to face the hard reality as painful as it is. He's Gay and it wasn't about you it was his false life that he created the ultimately ended up hurting you. You are going to have to be strong for your child. If I was you I would try communication with him so you can have a better understanding of what he's going through and so that you two can have some kind of healthy relationship for your child.
There are many woman in your same shoes that this has happen to unfortunately. Maybe try to find some groups for support, I know they have some out there. Good Luck in your healing process, just ry to go about it the right way. Nothing else will solve or change the out come.
2007-06-28 09:54:54 · answer #3 · answered by honeyb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go for the revenge lay.
except i don't see why it would be a revenge lay, because who are you getting back at?
he likes dudes. he's out having sex. consider him a msitake and start your new life, sleep with whomever you want, have a ball.
and make sure he pays child support.
you can't hate him for beign gay. really leaving you is the best thing he could do for you. I would take that as an act of respect.
It could be worse. He could have kept it a secret and stayed with you, and shagged god knows who on the side, and what if he brough home a disease? all because he was so scared of being honest that he would put you at risk.
2007-06-28 09:44:46 · answer #4 · answered by China J 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's almost impossible to get revenge and maintain your dignity. The best thing you can do is to get on with your life and show him that you and your daughter don't need him.
2007-06-28 12:50:58 · answer #5 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a wonderful man that loves you and your daughter and live a good life. That is the best revenge. Karma comes back 10 times so he'll get his, but if you do something back, you'll get your too, and didn't you get it bad enough with this? Be grateful you're finding out now, and not after you've contracted AIDS due to his philandering.
2007-06-28 09:39:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
By leaving it alone....You won't lose your dignity by being a woman and walking forward....Getting revenge won't make you feel better because no matter what it won't bring him back nor will he even care....
I don't think your husband woke up one day and decided to gay...Being who you are is not a choice...Making the decison what to do is....Be there for your daughter and put yourself first is what I think should be your first priority...I wish you all the best***
2007-06-28 09:44:30 · answer #7 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just get child support. I really feel badly for this mess!
BUT, hon, you don't just "go be gay". He has probably been fighting his homosexual feelings all his life--its amazing that he was able to father a child with you.
The world is really HARD when you are gay. I'm sure he didn't leave to hurt you, he just probably couldn't face the pretense any more. Try to FORGIVE him instead of getting even, no matter how hard it is. He's still your daughter's father, and she will probably want him to be a part of her life.
2007-06-28 09:44:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
um he's gay! would you rather him not have left you and still be there living a lie? don't you think him leaving is the best thing that could have happened to the two of you? leave him alone let him live his life and you live yours!! be thankful that you are still young your daughter is still young and no damage was really done!
2007-06-28 09:43:11 · answer #9 · answered by notyochic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure sleeping with a friend of his will tick him off, but it won't really make you feel any better, could cause even more problems, and could endanger your health. The best revenge is to go on with your life, find yourself a good man and go on to bigger and better things.
2007-06-28 09:40:46 · answer #10 · answered by terasa425 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋