My boyfriend and I live together, he's still married, but going through a divorce. She came over to get some of her belongings, they went upstairs to talk. They were quiet, I got worried. I went into the upstairs bedroom, and she had her pants and panties pulled down sitting on his lap. He had his pants still on, buttoned, zipped, everything. She told me they had sex, he told me they didn't. Who do I believe!? Why didn't he push her off?! Should I stay with him and deal with this crap? Or should I leave and try to find a new boyfriend? I really don't know what to do. They text eachother all the time. She told me they wern't really getting a divorce. But he assured me they were. He won't get a restraining order against her though. Is her still seeing her behind my back? Tell me what I should do please!!
2007-06-28 09:31:02 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They are working out their issues. Obviously, she still wants control over him and his life. Possibly he could do a better job of keeping away from her, but it's a difficult thing to do. There's no manual for it. Don't put too much pressure on him to do what you want, but at the same time don't let yourself be taken advantage of.
2007-06-28 09:36:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay do you really need to ask what you should do? You need to start packing babes because your relationship as you know it is now completely over. There's no reason you should've allowed yourself to get into a situation like this in the first place. As long as you show your signs of weakness, he's never gonna leave her alone so you can forget about it. And you must admit why should he get a divorce? You are still dealing with him regardless. There's no way you walked into a room where your man and his ex was and she was a finger nail clipping away from being completely naked, and all you could do is wonder!! What makes you believe that he's actually gonna divorce her??? How low is your self-esteem??? What else does he have to do to belittle you??? A man will only do what you allow!!! You as a woman need to know when enough is enough. The time is now!!! You don't have to deal with this kind of abuse from anyone. You can find someone that will treat you the way that you deserve and need to be treated. Pack your things and move on with your life before this situation gets any worse....good luck!!!!
2007-06-28 09:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off I am sorry you got into this situation you dont need it.
My honset opinon is this sounds like they were only a few seconds away from having sex. I mean come on her pants were off and his were on but comes down to it why didn't he push her away why didnt he say stop and get out of the room.
Which means if he really loves you than he wouldn't have had his soon to be ex wife in his room alone with her pants down.
Sometimes girls lie and sometimes boys lie. Not saying all girls lie or all boys lie but in this situation it is very hard to believe anyone but if you quickly opened the door its possible they didnt have sex.
But were about to. He sounds like a jerk. It honestly sounds like he was about to have sex and you just caught him before the act.
If he is still texting her sounds like he might still have feelings for her if he clams a divorce is in order and the papers have been filed but she says no than he might not have done so just yet. Possilbly he is playing you sounds like a player rather than a good boyfriend.
If it were a reverse roll I wouldnt assume the good I would assume he was cheating and leave his bum @@@ I cant deal with cheaters. Never assume the good esp if the girl is half naked sitting on his lap. I know I wouldnt.
The heart tells no lies Listen to your heart what does it say? If it says you should leave before it gets broke than leave move away No woman should have to go through this.
Just leave this guy you dont need that kind of crap you don't need walked on. Like my mother always told me there are plenty of fish in the sea and a real man is worth waiting for.
Good luck and I hope this helped you out.
GOD Bless you in what ever you decided.
2007-06-28 10:31:47 · answer #3 · answered by Rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of whether they had sex, he didn't push her away and he didn't walk out of the room when she started to take off her pants!! You need to leave him alone!! Tell him to call you once the divorce is final and he is ready to break the ties with her - until then, there is NO way the two of you can have a healthy relationship! He is willing to blatently disrespect you, and that won't get better if you don't demand better for yourself!!!!!
2007-06-28 09:48:46 · answer #4 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but it sure does sound like it. If they where/are married and still talk and text than it sounds like they still have something for each other. Go and find someone with out all the drama and extras, that only has eyes for you because, he should have threw her off and left the room. More less he shouldn't even have been alone in the room.Kick his Bhind to the curb!!!
2007-06-28 09:42:45 · answer #5 · answered by Kristy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, don't lie to yourself. True, you may have made a mistake by dating someone who is still married, but if he is going through a divorce, it's understandable that these things take time. But be true to yourself, if you saw her sitting on his lap, naked, and he just let it happen, you need to go with your gut instincts and get out of there NOW before it gets worse. He is obviously still attatched. Don't be the rebound girl from his marriage, it's not worth the heartache. They probably still have had sexual ties if he can go up to a room with her and let her have his way with him. Don't be fooled by his lies. He's trying to have both of you, and she is telling you the truth, as painful as it is to hear.
2007-06-28 10:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by britney487 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you respect yourself you wouldn't even spend another second with him. A guy that has a wife not an Ex wife but a wife that he still is involved with doesn't want to end things just because he claims to be in a relationship with you. If you see his actions than you know he doesn't care about your relationship. Words don't mean jack..Actions are brighter like Headlights on a corvette so bounce and don't look back.
2007-06-28 09:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by karolyne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think that some dude who makes a commitment to another woman through marraige and then cheats on his wife with you wont do it again.
Thing is he did absolutly nothing wrong in this instance, he isint cheating on you he is being with his wife.
Hes only cheating when he is with you.
I think you should stick the situation out.
2007-06-28 10:09:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my god girl!!!! that is nuts.... You need to get out, even if they arent having sex, she obviuosly wants you to think they are so that means she is incredibly jealous of you. The whole situation is made up of pure drama. He needs to stop his secretive contact with her and stand up for you! Ask him if he wants to have an open relationship and how he would feel if it was you instead of him!! honestly though that guy sounds like a dick!!!
2007-06-28 10:05:24 · answer #9 · answered by Workaholic 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do a threesome and you'll see whom he wants more. hey, it's good he didn't push her off. if he is rude to her now, he'll be rude to you, why do you want it? you should try to become friends with her, because you share the same man. it is a nice relationship you got yourself into, try to make the best out of it. and it looks like she is going to stay in his life no matter what, so if you cannot deal with it, try to find a single man for yourself.
2007-06-28 09:44:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋