My husband admitted to cheating while i was pregnant with baby#1, i am currently 4 months pregnant with #2.?

Question

I dont know what to do or think , weve been together since i was 12 yrs old. I love him to death but im so angry and frustrated. why me? why when i was pregnant. now me, my unborn and possibly my daughter have chlamydia. im so depressed

Answer 1

I am really sorry for you - especially now when you are pregnant again..
It is naturaly to be angry and frustrated. I really think you need counselling to get through this..
I don't know your situation, but can I say that if he admitted to cheating, that is a good thing... that he loves you enough to be honest with you? That is a good starting point..
I don't know where you are in terms of faith, but prayer, let me tell you from personal experience, works miracles..

Answer 2

WOW! I know exactly how your feeling! I have 2 children and im probably your age too. The only thing is that I didnt get an STD or was pregnant when my husband cheated. Ive been w/ my husband for 6 years and married for 2 yrs. I have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old. Dec of 2006 I found out (by child support paper that was mailed to our house) that my husband had cheated on me before I got pregnant with my 1st child. The worse part in my case is that, there is another child involved. We are still not sure if my husband is father of the other girl. I was devasted, depressed, mad, sad, you name it. I probablu should have not forgived him, but I did. He cried and promise me he will never do it again (if he does, i am gone for good)!
So im still in the process of healing, but I know is hard. I definanlty think your husband is cheating. How else can you get an STD? I dont know how much family support or friend support you have, or if you even have a job, but i say talk to him, find out what happened. He will not tell you unless you ask him right. My husband denied sleeping with this woman for almost a week, until I asked one night "So what are you going to do if this is your child?" He burst out in tears and confessed all. So maybe ask him "Please let me know because my doctor is really concerned, when did you sleep with this woman?" Its a tough situation, but if you can make it on your own, I wish you the best. We woman dont desrve to be treated like this.
Wish you the best and hope you have a healthy baby! If you want, you can send me an email and Ill be more than glad to help! Take care...

Answer 3

I am so sorry and feel your pain. I've been in your shoes, luckily without the STD. One month after I had my second child I found out that my husband was sleeping with one of his co-workers. I think men freak out when their wife gets pregnant. It's a slap of reality that they are really in it for the long haul. It's like they want to hold on to their freedom as long as possible or something. Whatever it is, it's very immature. They don't mean to hurt us. And it's not that they don't love us. They just have very little self control and a lot of growing up to do. Marriage takes a lot of patience and forgiveness. Be patient and don't give up hope. It can still be OK. My husband and I are still together for years and more to come. And after all the dust settled we are now stronger, happier and more in love than ever. As far as the STD, go get checked by your doctor and take it from there. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Why wasn't it detected when you' were pregnant with the first baby? Or at least during check up before and after the first pregnancy. Something doesn't make sense here. I would worry about your health first and deal with him later. Then you will have a long hard road of healing to go if you choose to stay with him or leave. You defiantly need counseling to get through this; the both of you do together and separate.

Answer 5

Talk to him about it, see if you feel he is really being honest about everything, if you think you can work around this then try and make it work, but you have every right to kick his butt to the curb too if you can't live w this and cannot forgive him of this. Being that you have kids, it might be difficult to divorce him, but staying together just because of the kids may be really hard for you because children growing up around parents constantly arguing all the time isn't a good childhood environment either. Truly, you do need to sit down and have a good heart to heart w him, if you feel he is still untrustworthy, you should move on w your life

Answer 6

Why in god's name do people think cheating equals an STD?

Cheating equals a lot of things - betrayal, loss of trust, socipathic action, selfishness, creulty, jackassery, stupidity, and immaturity to name but a few, but I defy you to show me a peer-reviewed research article showing that there is a higher incidence of STDs among cheating women than non-cheaters. I just haven't read that research.

By the way, about half of women over 25 have chlamydia. So get tested yourself anyway.

Finally, unless your husband is having sex with your daughter #1, how can she get it? By him sneezing in the family room? Get informed, honey.

Keep your emotions in check and ruin him if you want but do it with facts, not urban legends.

Answer 7

I feel so bad for you, I can't think of a worse situation but for your kids sake, you have to make a decision. This same thing happended to my best friend, he cheated on her all the time and finally, FINALY she got rid of him and ended up with a man that adores her. She was also pregnant with their son, she rode it out until after the baby was born and then divorced him. I say enough is enough, it may be hard but you have a lot of time to think and plan this out so you can land on your feet. Good luck to you, I wish you well and stop having sex with him before you end up with something worse!

Answer 8

You should be worried. If he's done it before he could do it again.

Women don't get what the issue is here, but there is a HUGE issue. When a woman is pregnant she puts all of her focus on the baby. That is what is done, right? However, guess who is being left out? The husband! He now feels totally forgotten by you because your focus is no longer on him, but on the baby.

He needs attention, please, make sure he gets it
and get some counseling.

Answer 9

12 years old??? Wow, that explains a lot.

I would be livid if I were you. I am not an advocate of divorce but this would be grounds for it, in my opinion. He not only betrayed you while you were carrying his child, but infected all of you as well. Disgusting. He is a piece of trash and doesn't deserve you.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Answer 10

That damn dirt bag! That makes me so mad. He is disgusting.....It's easy for everyone to say "leave him" but it's easier said the done. Though you need to start looking at your options real soon. How could you ever want to touch him again. A woman can leave and still survive, we're strong that way. No one should stay cuz they think they have to.