Is this normal??

Question

I'd appreciate it if only married people over 30 answer my question. Thanks :)
Is it normal to feel like you may be making a mistake 2 weeks before the wedding? Everything was fine up until now. It seems the closer I get, the more afraid I get. I love him and we aren't having any problems. I'm just wondering if maybe I'd be more happy staying single. That's what keeps going through my mind. I'm in my 40's and this is my second marriage. Are these feelings normal?

Answer 1

YES. I had the same thing happen to me before my 2nd marriage. Take some time and evaluate whether or not those feelings are based on something real or just based on a fear because the first marriage didn't work out.

My feelings weren't so strong that I thought it was a mistake, but fear did take hold of me, but a careful evaluation told me it wasn't based on anything substantial.

If you think you might be happier single, though, I do worry. The reason I worry about that, is there isn't a single aspect of my life that isn't enhanced by my wife. At no point in my fear did I think I'd actually be happier if I didn't go through with it.

Try to take some time back off a bit and really think this through. You don't want to get married and then divorced a short while later. What makes you the happiest?

Answer 2

yes its normal its perfectly reasonable especially if its your second marriage to think that things could go wrong again and you managed to get on your feet and now are risking the same situation again.only you know if this man will nbe worth a try.i thought seriously about calling my wedding off cos of fear of the unknown,silly things like wedding lists who comes who doesnt.its a stressful time.i didnt call off my wedding in the end.i have been married 22 years this year so i was right not to.we need to take risks in life.thats part od lifes rich tapestry.i wish you luck in your future plans.when the time comes you will do what is right for you.i am 40

Answer 3

Yes its normal, in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s. You might be scared of the changes that might happen. If you both love and respect each other, everything will work out fine. The jitters are normal.

Answer 4

Maybe you had better have a conversation with him huh? If this is the real way that you are really feeling, then I would highly recomend it. On the other hand, could it be a case of "cold feet"? This happens to alot of people just before a wedding. So I would guess that you might call it normal in some cases.

Answer 5

I was far more nervous before my second wedding than my first, because I knew very well how badly things can go. 19 years later, we are having some problems, but we're working on them - not giving up. Just make sure you understand yourself and know what went wrong the first time, and that you and your new spouse are communicating honestly, kindly, and relationally with each other. Best of luck.

Answer 6

There's a difference between feeling cold feet, nerves and beginning to see red flags in front of you.

If it's nerves you're feeling, know that this is perfectly normal. However, if suddenly you are beginning to take note of those red flags you've been ignoring because the relationship wasn't all that serious, then now is the time to recognize them for what they are, and get out.

Answer 7

yes its normal. im on my second marriage, and walking up to the altar i wanted to throw up i was so nervous. but its normal feelings. especially since its your second wedding. you dont want to make the same mistake as the last time. so yes. can you imagine your life without him? if not than do yourself a favor and take a risk. your worth it and so is he. go through with the wedding. you'll regret it if you don't.

Answer 8

Absolutely normal. It's called pre-wedding jitters. I got them 2 minutes before my wedding but they went away when I saw my wife walking down the aisle towards me.

If you've been through a divorce, this is particularly common. Don't worry. Trust your own instincts (whichever way they go!)

Good luck

Answer 9

It's totally normal because you are worried because it's your second marriage and you don't want anything to go wrong this time (I'm assuming you had problems in your first marriage). If you're sure you love him, go ahead and don't think too much. Good luck.

Answer 10

Perfectly normal.