My cousin (19) lives with me and doesnt help out around the house nor does she have a job. She also has a little dog that stays in her room and poops/pee every where I've told her that it needs to stay out side just like my dog. But she said she cant leave it out because it will cry all night? I ask her several times to get a job/school what ever just get out and do something. She has been with me since March.
But my husband wants her out period. I cant do it but I dont know what to do. SHe came from out of state and since I live in Ca. next to the beach I think she wanted to come out for the summer not to do what she said.
2007-06-28 08:29:41 · 10 answers · asked by Bellatres 2 in Beauty & Style ➔ Other - Beauty & Style
I think that you need to gently remind her that everyone pulls their own weight in your house. When sitting down to dinner or breakfast, ask her to help you clean up, or simply tell her it is her turn to do the kitchen cleanup.
Get her a cheap vaccuum, like a DirtDevil, and present to her as a gift...that should get the point across!! Say, "This is just a little something to help you out! Hope you put it to good use!!"
About the job: If she isn't going to look herself, then you need to look for her. Look at grocery stores, restaurants, movie stores, nanny services, salons....see if she wants to enroll in a beauty school. She might find that interesting, fun, trendy, and the perfect opportunity for her to get a job. This is just something you will have to be frank about. Explain, once again, that she needs to find a day job if she wants to stay. If she doesn't want the job, she will still need to come up with a way to pay for a third of your hubbie's and your groceries, since she is taking up a third of the house. Also explain that she should buy her dog its own food.
About the dog: you'll just have to be blunt. If the animal is intruding upon your lifestyle and making it hard for the house to stay clean, he needs to be kept outside or be given away. Tell her that! Explain to her that her dog will have to stay outside or in the garage and that you are fully willing to help her train it. If she refuses, put your foot down!
I'm sorry that you are going through such a difficult time! It's hard to do this, but you have to be honest and sincere. Hopefully she will understand eventually. Another good person to go to (since I am a total amateur at giving advice) is Dear Abby. Sounds stupid and cheezy, I know, but she actually has good ideas!
Good luck!!!! I hope everything works out!!!!
2007-06-28 08:41:27 · answer #1 · answered by M&M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personaly i would take her out one day (probably soon) for coffee at you local good coffee shop, sit down and talk with her, explain your feelings and your husbands, tell her that the dog needs to either be gone, outside, or put plastic down all over the floor or put a diaper on it. explain what your husbands saying and that you want to help her help herself, and that if she doesnt want to get a job or start school then she needs to take up ALOT of house work responsabilities. be cival when talking to her, calm and rational, let her new "hey such and such place is hiring... you could get a job thier to help pay for items for your dog or yourself!" let her see the light, the sooner the better right?
2007-06-28 15:38:20 · answer #2 · answered by AJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to parent hood.
Your cuz is treating you like her caretaker and it's only going to stop when you make it stop.
It is not going to be easy, but you need to deliver the ultimatum. Shape up or ship out. You have a life too and just because you live on the beach doesn't make your place her personal bed and breakfast.
I would suggest practicing this with a good friend or with your husband and make sure you deliver the message together.
best,
cez
2007-06-28 15:36:58 · answer #3 · answered by cezzium 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make up a contract with your husband for her to sign.
1] must have job, contribute to rent and board within 30 days or out.
2] must toilet train her dog, or put in crate at night, or out.
3] must cook or buy dinner two nights a week [ people who don't cook get to cleanup ]; scrub one bathroom every week; keep room neat and clean [ bed made,clothes away or in laundry basket, no pee or poop, tidy surfaces. ]; and vacuum all public areas and her room every week.
If she says she can't or won't, she has to get out.
Make her sign it, or leave NOW.
2007-06-28 15:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by Nurse Susan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she's gonna be kicked out if she doesn't get a job, you an cut her rooms electricity out if she doesn't pay you at least $20 for electricity...she's out or in a dark room...and if her dog isn't outside, ur gonna give it away... hope it helps!
2007-06-28 15:35:41 · answer #5 · answered by YO MAMMA! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand up for yourself and tell her if she doesn't start helping you then she will have to find a place to live by herself. She sounds like she is taking you for granted. Good luck!
2007-06-28 15:35:38 · answer #6 · answered by Katie! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be cruel to be kind. If you don't lay down the law, this person will never make the effort to make something of herself.
2007-06-28 15:38:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd kick her out. By wasting this time doing nothing, she's just making things harder for herself in the long run.
2007-06-28 15:34:24 · answer #8 · answered by Lauren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any chance her Birthday's coming up....buy her a plane ticket HOME
2007-06-28 15:38:31 · answer #9 · answered by nascardi38 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By her a ticket anyway,....... before U loose your marriage
2007-06-28 15:59:40 · answer #10 · answered by intouch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋