Nosy or concerned?

Question

My therapist seems to ask me many personal questions. Of course it is his job because he is helping me to sort out some things in my life. But questions about my sex life such as when was the last time I had sex and what my conversations are about when I talk to men. He wants to know too many specifics such as where I met the guy and what street I was on when I met him. My phone rings while I'm in a session with him and he wants to know if the caller is male or female. What type of craziness is that? Anyway am I just being paranoid? He claims its his job and he's concerned but I think he's too nosy. I mean it shouldn't matter who I talk to, what I talk about with them and my sex life either. As long as it's not hurting me mentally it should not be his concern. Is he nosy or just CRAZY?

Also I am not seeing him for any sex related issue. He is actually my psychiatrist/psychotherapist. I initially began seeing him for my depression.

Answer 1

perverted id say get rid of him he is of no value to you

Answer 2

Therapists are bound by a code of ethics. And, what they do is ask a lot of questions to make YOU think about what your problem is or why you are there. As the saying goes (paraphrased) "if you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen"..which means there are many therapists out there and if you don't like him or his approach then try another. The therapists don't remember you after you leave their office so he's not asking for his personal information. If what he's asking you about doesn't lead you to question yourself, your personal motives about what's going on in your own life, or you don't see the relationship between what he's bringing out and what problem you are there to see him for, then either prompt him back on track or find another therapist. This therapist is trained one way (asking a lot of quetions for a good purpose) and he's not going to change for you. He is neither nosy or crazy. He's being professional. By the way, your phone should not be ringing to interrupt a session. Since you were rude in answering it, your therapist was merely wondering what could be more important that you wanting to clear up something in your life, or could be wondering how often that person interrupts your life or how often you let that person on the phone interrupt your life. If you didn't get that from what he said then since he pointed that out to you maybe you need to think about it. Since you don't appreciate this therapist ask him for a referral or find another therapist.

Answer 3

If you are uncomfortable or think he is overstepping the boundaries of his job, talk to him about it. See if he will tell you why he is so interested in these things. He might have a good reason for it, such as wanting to see if you have intimacy issues, or if you are in an unhealthy relationship. However, one of the most important things in therapy is that you trust your therapist. If there is no trust, then you will hide things that he or she might need to know. If this is the case, then he or she might not be able to find the root cause of your problem, meaning that you will waste your time and money on these sessions. If you don't trust him or his motives, you should consider switching to another therapist, maybe a female one. And don't be discouraged if you don't get along with him or her. I was told once that it takes a person an average of 8 therapists before they find the one who is perfect for them. Good luck in this.

Answer 4

For your therapist to be able to determine why you are depressed, he has to know you inside out. Your depression could be deep rooted in some past event that you can't even recall, but getting to know you, he can make the judgment. If you don't have complete trust in him, don't waste your money. As to your phone ringing when you're in a session, common sense and good manners should tell you to turn off your phone first.

Answer 5

I would change to another one. There are allot of crazies out there. Just because he has the title Doctor does not eliminate him from being one of those crazies.

If you are seeking help from depression. The only question that makes sense to ask you is......... Do you have a satisfying sex life. If you answer, yes. That should suffice. Period, end of subject. Then he should go on to hear what is bothering you.

Answer 6

It is his job to know you better than you know yourself. Otherwise, he can't truly help you. If it makes you uncomfortable, then more than likely, there is some sort of issue that he's trying to force to the surface. To truly be healthy in life, you have to be comfortable with every aspect of who you are. If you can't discuss something like sex with a person you say you trust to make decisions about your health, then you aren't actually ready to fix whatever is wrong.

Answer 7

Hello. If you feel uncomfortable maybe it would be better to change and find another therapist, maybe a lady this time. There is probably nothing wrong at all but you will not be helped if you don't trust him and that is why you are there.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Wanting to know about your sex life is normal as it relates to the rest of your life in ways you may not be aware of, but I do think it might be odd for him to ask what street you were on when you met somebody, but maybe it was relevant. Regardless of whether his questions are legit or not, if you don't feel comfortable with him as your therapist you should get a new one. You can't make your best progress unless you feel like you can trust the person working with you. I say try seeing a woman instead.

Answer 9

Some patients do ave em. :P

Anyway, alot of therapists have their own way of doing therapy.
Confront him and see what he says. If you dont like him just get another therapist.
You could also ask the other therepist if what he thinks of your former therapists behaviour..... Second opinion..;)
Then no one can call you a lyar or whatever.

Answer 10

you need to change therapists---he has boundary issues that may be indicative of him trying to establish control over you. I believe its called counter transference when the professional sexually /emotionally attaches to the patient. Regardless of the term, that is what seems like may be beginning to happen here. His questions are too specific and too intrusive and way out of the norm. Seek help for the 'help' he's giving you

Answer 11

When you go to a therapist or counselor, it is their job to find out as much about what's going on in your life, family, relationships and habits as possible. This is how they get to the root of your problems, even if it is depression. People act out in different ways according to the level of depression and anxiety they are experiencing. If you are uncomfortable with his questions, tell him so. Personally, I think you need to be as open and honest as you can if you want the best help. You also need to trust your therapist, so if it's bothering you, find someone else.