How would you deal with depression?. My sis has 3 kids an evening job a gambling husband.?

Question

My sister is a very wonderful mum and wife. She has a husband that gambles, although she believes he is not a heavy gambler, this still bothers her as it could get worse.
She has three beautiful children that, for kids, are quite well behaved. Her children are 6 years and under. I would like an idea from someone who has been through maybe a similar situation on how to help her through this period in her life.

Answer 1

She is dealing with too much stress. I think what it all boils down to is that she needs a day job and not a night job. Something that will allow her to spend her nights with her family. But before doing that, she needs a break from her husband. They both need to learn to appreciate one another. Until they both do that, she will always feel depressed. Like he doesn't deserve her.

Answer 2

about 5 years ago, I started to fall into a really depressive episode. At first I thought it was only because I had a bad break from a relationship but the feelings wouldn't go away even after I got a new girlfriend. It was wrecking my life until a point where it was seriously affecting my work and personal life.

She was very worried but at the same time couldn't understand why I was still sad and thought that I still couldn't let go of my previous relationship. Being the wonderful person that she is, she put aside her feelings and suggested I go for psychiatric evaluation. Many months later and even more anti-depressants, I was not coming close to being better at all.

After doing some research online, I found out the real cause as you described it really makes a lot of sense and purchased this program. The results were simply astonishing. I read this book over three times and put all words in action. Using this method, I've kept my depression at bay ever since. Up to date I'm still living happily with my girlfriend.

Depression Free Method?

Answer 3

counselling is good, she may benefit from having someone non judgemental to talk to, she needs to realise that in order to get back some control in her life, she has to look after no.1, this can be difficult when there are children involved because naturally she will put their needs before her own, you said she has an evening job which is good for her because she is spending at least a little time away from her main responsibilities, if it is a nightshift job, it may not be helping situations as she may not be getting the rest she deserves even if she is managing to get broken sleep through the day, i would never recommend anti depressants because they block true emotions and will not solve any of her problems, they will just make her mentally numb, your sister also needs to find out why her husband is gambelling, is it the thrill? the hope for winning the jackpot? socialising? is he bored? we'd all love a bit of extra cash at the end of the day but gambling can consume more than just the contents of a persons pockets if it gets out of hand. one more thing, if your sister has a very low mood all the time, ask her to monitor her diet as she may be lacking essential vitamins, most importantly, and i know you are doing this already so well done... be there for her. x

Answer 4

Not been through the same thing, but if anyone is having a hard time, pampering is always nice. Manicure, pedicure, facial or massage. Try meditation or just some time to yourself. suggest this to your sister and keep on looking out for her. it's nice you're trying to help her y'know :)

something that will make her feel good about herself is if you make her or buy her a card, telling her that you care about her and that you're glad to be her sister! tell her you'll always be there no matter what and she can count on you for anything. Just knowing this will make your sister smile!

Good luck and i hope your sis is ok x

Another way of bringing to light, the situation with the gambling, you could mention in a conversation (whilst he and your sis are there) about a friend who's husband has a gambling problem and that you're worried about your friend as she's worrying a lot about it! this way you are not implying it is your sisters husband, but at least making him aware of the situation without a confrontation!

Answer 5

Well for starters she needs to seek the advice/couseling of a professional... A marriage counselor would be helpful especially for the husband and his gambling.. This happened to an aqaintance of mine and they lost everything... House, cars etc.. They ended up divorced and living with each other's parents.. The kids are the one's in the end that will suffer.. Gambling is an addiction that needs immeadiate treatment like alcohol or any other addiction... I would suggest she start with whatever her insurance covers sometimes a mental health hotline is on the back of the insurance card.. That can point you in the right direction as well as the phone book... good luck and be well

Answer 6

If he tells her he is Gambling a little, then he is probally gambling a lot. Believe me! I was there 5 years ago. I was spending several hundred dollars a week on gambling. He is the problem. He is feeling guilty for what he is doing, and she and the kids are suffering for it. That was my case also. She has to be mean to him about the gambling, and he needs to get to Gamblers Anonymous! Its his best hope to recover. My wife is also a wonderful wife and mom, and its tearing his family apart. She has to stand up for herself and the kids. Tell him its us or your gambling. My wife did and it worked, almost took a year though. Its her best hope! Good luck, and God help her!

Answer 7

therapist and pills that are prescripted to increase certain things in your brain. If this is clinical depression that really had no onset, or she just can't seem to get over it, than it is more than just the "blues" If it is just shes feels kinda down here and there then treat her to something really special and get her kids involved. Have then make up an invitation to a spa you're going to take her to. However, if it is more serious than that nothing but some with a license can help.

Answer 8

This may sound cruel, but the best way to get rid of depression is get rid of the source. A gambler is like an alcoholic like a drug addict. But, if she can't wrap around that, she needs to make sure she has enough money squirreled away, to find shelter, when he bankrupts them. The chances this will happen is pretty high, if he isn't willing to seek help.

Answer 9

You can help her the most by being there to listen when she needs someone to talk to. It is so very easy for most of us to underestimate the value of having a person who we can go to & just simply vent on.
Now advice is nice, but you have to be carefull just how much of it you hand out. What I am talking about here is just plain, & simple LISTENING. Sure offer support, & some feedback, but use the word "should" very sparingly.

If your sister or you get caught up in trying to control his gambling then that is another matter.
Suffice it to say that the only person we have any control over is ourselves. Trying to control the behaviour of someone who is out of control (like an addict) is just an excercise in futility.

:-)

Answer 10

I believe that she is a wonderful mom, and a great wife if she can put up with three kids and a gambling husband. but maybe a babysitter and a nice evening out with her husband, and a long talk about his gambling issues, would make her less depressed. and if that doesn't work, get her to have a girls night out, with only her girl-friends.

Answer 11

Wow, it is stunning. I have been given to dam approximately 5 human beings only in this one query, you vast looser! HA!!! Gamble on your heart's content fabric. in case you do no longer spend the money now, you recognize what's gonna happen. you will deliver your no longer so smart offspring to varsity, the place they gets hammered each night, do sorority women, and the sole element they're going to significant in is freaking keg stands and then they're going to flunk out, and you have gotten wasted your money besides, so why the hell no longer only gamble your *** off now?? Blackjack. Craps is only too tricky and that i do no longer pick to be taught new issues.