My husband is the only son in his family with four younger sisters, and he had a mother who always told him how proud of him she was, and how great he is and the things he does. He always got encourgement from his family and everything. Now I am his wife and when i'm talking to him about an idea he's just like "OK". He has NO encourgement for me, no feedback anything. It makes me feel like he does not care about me. Yet he is always telling me about his college classes, grades he gets on his papers, how he might get promote to staff Sargeant in August. I feel like he's a taker in encourgament and needing affirmation, but has no idea how to give it to others. Am I right? Is he selfish, can anyone help me understand this?
2007-06-28 06:37:11 · 13 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your right!i have a taker too,what gets me the most is if i say ''oh that's good babe''♥♥☺☺ hes like whatever but when he tells his family hes all excited and proud.i tell him about my day and hes like absent,but he will go on for days about his classes,next classes,summer classes.I'm so sick of it all i am so lonely when hes away and the void when we are together is so heartbreaking for me.im on your side.good luck!
2007-06-28 06:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its seem to me that since he has been feed this way his whole life that it is now required for him to feel good.
I would say sit down and talk with him. He will not see that he is selfish so do not tell him that or you will get him mad. If he was like this before you married then he is not doing anything different and you will both have to talk about it together.
Remember just because he does not say it does not mean that he is not prod of you. It looks like most of the women in his life did not need it.
Sit down and talk to him it looks like most of the people in his life gave him false hope false encouragement and so go slow.
take care and good luck
2007-06-28 06:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by bkamissrike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be right. He may not have social skills and how to make efforts to keep the relations alive. But you may have to handle it carefully. Treat him with love and tell him what you want and need. Since he lacks in that special skill, you need to be patient and not expect much. Sometimes, it takes years to change one's habit. But if you are gentle and keep asking him to encourage you and that you like to be encouraged and need affirmation too, your relations will definitely improve. When he says OK, just say that you need to hear whether he liked it or not.
2007-06-28 06:43:19 · answer #3 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you need and deserve the same encouragement that you give to him. Ask him if being told your proud of him makes him feel good? Does it make him happy to receive your encouragement and congratulations? Of coarse it doesn't and you need the same support in return.
2007-06-28 06:41:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your husband is a typical "me me me" person and they are a dime a dozen. I don;t blame his parents as he is a grown man and should be less worrying about himself and more caring about others because one day he will be alone with "meme me" while everyone else is sharing thee world and its riches.
You may want to sit him down and let him know what happens to people that are selfish when the time comes and he needs help
2007-06-28 06:41:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly honey, it sounds like you're over thinking this one. have you talked to him about this? Does he know that you need encouragement too? Communicate. If he still does not take you into consideration, then yeah... he's a taker..
2007-06-28 06:41:06 · answer #6 · answered by Amazon Woman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His mother and sisters have always catered to him - the KING. Now it is your turn ( or that is what he expects). It's all about HIM. If you try to explain that to him - he won't even know what you are talking about because he is so used to it that he thinks it's a given.
2007-06-28 06:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes just been sheltered by his family and has been programmed basically that hes the greatest so he has that mentality now. You just need to give him a reality check.
2007-06-28 06:41:08 · answer #8 · answered by Brutus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just let him knows u need it. ask him how he feels if he dont get it. maybe say it in a joking manner so it wun hurt ur relationship.
ex: ermm do u have gold in ur mouth? or will u drop a teeth for every encouragment give?
2007-06-28 06:45:34 · answer #9 · answered by Bibi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore him as you can. He's just too proud of himself. lol
2007-06-28 06:43:38 · answer #10 · answered by o_o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋