My fiance is so unloving - we haven't had sex in over a week?

Question

I told him he is driving me to want to cheat because I am dying to feel wanted. All he did was say "awwww" and hug me. WTF is wrong with this guy. No he's not cheating. He's 29. He smokes pot several time daily. Any ideas???????

Answer 1

Smoking weed has nothing to do with it. My fiance smokes it and won't leave me alone.. He trys to get it at least 1 if not 2 times a night.. Hell he wakes me up in the middle of the night at times...

Are you sure he is not cheating on you? Are you sure he is not swinging the other way? Also telling him that he is driving you to cheat is not the best way to do things...

Sit down and just talk to him about it.. Tell him about your needs.. Hell he could at least do something to please you...

If he is not doing anything at all to please you (sexually and non-sexually) you may want to rethink getting married.

Answer 2

First, his smoking has no effect. I can tell you that from personal experience. I do not know why he is like this, but I sympathize. I am actually happy that my wife (of almost 12 years) is actually now willing to have sex once a week (give or take). There have been times it is was once every couple or three months. I can also understand your wanting to find someone to give you the attention you want. It has taken everything I have not to look for the affection I need elsewhere. Even now that the frequency has increased, the feeling of being wanted has not really. Maybe that is just me, but still, I understand how you feel. If I were you I would let him know, again, and if you get the same reaction, ask if he would prefer an open relationship. Or if you are not comfortable with that idea, perhaps it is time for you both to look for people that are more compatible or more like yourselves.

Answer 3

Leave him. First of all the pot smoking several times a day is no help. He is so relaxed that he can't do anything. If he smokes pot a lot, he is probably not working. Which means where is the money coming from? You probably. Get out before you are married to him and all he wants to do is party and you end up with a child to raise all by yourself. I am saying this from personal experience. Not only did my first husband smoke a lot of pot, but he was abusive. Give him back the ring and say goodbye before it is too late!

Answer 4

Well, if it's like this now, it's not going to get any better once you are married.

You need to ask yourself some serious questions here. If he makes you feel unloved, unwanted, and gives you no sex and you aren't even married yet, or with kids, what is your marriage going to be like? It's not looking too promising. The fact that he doesn't even take your feelings seriously either is a real worrier.

I would reconsider whether this wedding is a good idea. Perhaps you two aren't compatible.

Answer 5

Oh my gosh there is so much wrong with this scenario, I don't know where to start. First of all, not having sex with your partner in over a week is NOT that bad. Granted, my BF and I can barely go two days without making love, but if something happened and we couldn't for weeks, I would NEVER want to cheat on him.

It sounds to me like you fiance is stoned out of his skull and is happy with that, so he doesn't need affection from you. Rather than cheat because your physical needs are not being met, maybe you should talk to him (when he is not stoned) and evaluate whether or not you should marry him.

Answer 6

GET RID OF HIM! Trust me, been there done that. I'm in the process of leaving a man that I have been in love with and lived with for 2 years.
I'm no longer able to live with this sexually, emotionally fridget man.
They "give" you just enough to keep hanging on. This has been the loneliness, empty and frustrating relationship I have ever been in.
You will spend the rest of your life asking the same question I ask everyday-WHY??
Your right, they're not cheating. Personally, I could accept that easier then what I HAVE ALLOWED him to do to me for 2 years. GET OUT no matter what he says, when he fears you have had enough and might walk-IT DOESN'T CHANGE. .

Answer 7

Are you in love or are you just lusting over your fiance? Sex does not equal Love. Celibacy should be embraced as the norm prior to marriage. Since you've had sex already without taking time to get to know your fiance completely, you are confused. You shouldn't waste time with pot smoking dude. Let go and Let God lead ya!!! And next time you meet someone, make sure he's drug-free and is compatible to you!

Answer 8

He probably too stoned to want to put the energy into sex. Get use to it if this is his thing "getting high" because I have a feeling his priority is pot, than you if he feels like it. If you want someone who is more physical you better keep looking and break off your engagement. You are not changing the way he is at age 29.

Answer 9

Ummmm, if you're threatening to cheat on him... the biggest question is why should he marry you?
And don't try to sugarcoat it with "dying to feel wanted", because he gave you a hug, and you're threatening to sleep with someone else. You just want to get f'd.
The truth is, that most men have the same needs that don't get met, and cheating is never to be condoned.

It's also scarey, all the responses on here by the women.

Answer 10

deal with it. seriously, ur complaining bc he hasnt had sex with u in over a week, WOW. nothing is wrong with him, besides the fact thats hes immature. i mean come on now, he smokes pot several times a day? def need a better man. and when i say man i mean a guy that doesnt do drugs. and doesnt drink all the time.