I live with my MIL, I work all day reach home at 11:30 in the night sleep by 12:00 as I have to wake up at 6:30 in the morning to do the household chores before I go back to office. Even if a single day I get up a litlle late - my MIL starting yelling and using abusive lang. my husband n FIL keep mum on this.
Inspite of me doing both house hold chores as well as earning money ( I get decent pay equal to my husband and work with a renowned company). My MIL always keeps looking down on me and searches different reasons to yell at me all the time I am at home. She treats me like a maid. I cook breakfast and afternoon food also before I leave -so that she does not have to work yet She keeps complaining and I cannot stand it any more. I am not allowed to open my mouth against her. I keep listening to every dirty word she uses for me without even raising my eye-brow.
I am completely fed up of this situation and more upset by the fact that my husband does not care.
2007-06-28 05:32:47 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry about that. Look if your hubby and you make good money, WHY ARE YOU LIVING WITH THE IN-LAWS ?
Move out, then MIL will find out how much you meant to here there. Look sometimes when parents have only one kid or the favorite or the youngest or whatever excuse, they tend to hold on and think nobody is good enough for their darling son/daughter. I say sit your hubby down, away from house and ILs and talk to him about this. He needs to know you want respect and expect him to defend you. Tell him this situation has to change and that you want to move out. You married him and not his parents. You need to be strong and respect yourself first. I mean, ok if you didn't work and were living of in-laws, blah, blah, blah, but hey you're a bread winner and probably supporting them. I bet hubby controls money, huh. Set up a solo account for you and deposit your checks in there. If hubby asks why, tell him you're saving up, to get the 7734 upside down, out of there. Please you need to be strong and stand-up. Once your hubby realizes that living with his parents is completely unbearable for your and that you are saving your income on your own, he's gotta budge.
Good Luck and be strong !
2007-06-28 05:50:46 · answer #1 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think ur husband is a jerk, instead of defending u, and helping u, he keep mum, I think u really need to make this an issue, and talk to ur husband, talk that ur a human being and not some damn robot to go on like this. Well I think u both earn and earn a decent salary, then just get a maid, who can atleast cook food, wash utensils on clothes for u. This will be helping hand for u and will give u some relief.
If all this doesn't work then better find urself a new home with ur husband and get out of that place as soon as possible.
2007-06-28 13:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by rohit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are playing the role of the traditional Indian bahu (housewife) who accepts brickbats from her in-laws without demur. You have a decent job and are financially independent. Therefore there is no reason why people who benefit both from your work at home and at office should insult you with impunity. Tell your husband and mil that the time has come for them to choose between a working bahu or a housewife. If they want you to continue with your laborious job, someone else (your mil or any domestic help) should do the household chores. There is no way whereby you can work at your job upto midnight and then wake up at dawn for the household chores. If they want you as a housewife then you will have to leave your job.
2007-06-28 12:55:27 · answer #3 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should speak to his mother about her behavior. It's not right for him to allow his wife to be treated as if inferior !
Best thing to do is move out on your own. You say you're both working and make decent money.. Be on your own !!! No more dealing with your mother in law !!
You could blow up in front of them all and cause a big scene or take her out to lunch one day having a nice chat about how you will no longer tolerate her behavior towards you.
I wish you the best of luck, but don't let her intimidate you. You are an adult and let her know it !!! Don't back down and don't let your husband take her side (easier said than done, but give it a try)!!
2007-06-28 13:01:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
woooooooooooooooooooooooooow
why are you living there?? maybe if you could tell her, look I would appreciate a little respect, I pull my weight around here just as much as the next person, I am an active contributor to this household and I expect to be treated as such----I think thats a pretty decent way to say it.....I don't know.....that really sucks though--do you make enough money to live on your own?? your own apt? maybe? if not you do know they have low income apartments with income qualifications?? good luck and stand up for yourself you dont deserve that!!
2007-06-28 12:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a jerk and a weakling for letting his mom treat you this way. Since you have a decent job, pack your bags, tell the MIL to Fu*k Off! and never look back.
2007-06-28 12:39:50 · answer #6 · answered by JoJo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your MIL must be around 50... in this age every woman has to enter menopause... please open the web site ‘webMD’ and collect information about menopause because you will also enter this phase after 10-15 years... it would not look decent to describe what is menopause in respect of a mother on the internet…
in addition to that if you wish that the woman who has worked day and night for the upbringing of your husband since his birth until this adulthood, would also continue working in her old age till her last breath for him, his wife and children... then it would not be fare on your part...
Do not overestimate your profile…
2007-06-28 12:53:32 · answer #7 · answered by Harish Jharia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Darlin, my advise to you is to tell them all to kiss you *** and leave. I went through the same situation about 3 years ago and it was tough to leave because it was scary to think about leaving and starting on my own again(not to mention I had a young son to take care of). You have to live for You! Stop letting them treat you like dirt. You are a woman and your God given rite is to be a ***** so go for it. Inpower yourself and do something to fix the situation.
2007-06-28 12:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by Laura S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi rita ,i think the only reason she is behaving like this with u is because u r living in her house .....u get a good pay u said so start savings and asap get a house on YOUR name and start living seperate , i knw its difficult but i had the same problem. may be ur MIL is not good as u are so she wants somthing to show u down and belive me she will never loose a chance ....so get ur own house and this problem will be solved ....mine was solved .....i got a small house but it is MINE........!!!!
2007-06-28 12:45:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No house is big enough for 2 family's. why are u living there? sounds like the issue isnt money so is it to provide some sort of care for them? get your own house NOW. as far as ur husband goes he is unlikely to say anything to his mother in her house. bottom line, your house your rules.
2007-06-28 12:42:45 · answer #10 · answered by dpeslinger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋