I'am in a relationship is this lady. Who has 3 kids that i'm helping her with. I have a house that I invited her and her kids to live in. I pay all the bill, gave her 2 cars with 6 mo. of us being together, buy her what ever she needs or want, let her send her child support on what ever she want (which she only gets support for one of them), I work a second job and told her I would give her that check so she can have some money in her pocket, we go out as family and do things, but she is always complaining about everything. (cleaning, washing, the kids you name it she complains about it. And im starting to get tried of it. I Love her but i'm at the point that I want to snap and kick her out. We are going on year in july. And the kid have become a big part in my life. What should I do?
2007-06-28 05:10:41 · 15 answers · asked by Bigd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow...you sound so nice! Are you really that nice? I would talk to her and explain yourself. Talking is the key to a healthy relationship. She should be greatful to have someone like you in her life, especially with now day society. You must really love her to do everything for her and still care enough to go out source for advice. You are one of a kind! Good luck..
2007-06-28 05:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by qasizan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all can i move in too?? I love to cook!! and I clean all the time... LOL J/J
I think you need to sit her down and talk to her... she obviously doesn't realize how good she has it.. Just let her know how you feel, tell her that you do all this stuff for her and her kids and you don't feel appreciated. If she says "well i sit at home all day and..... blah blah blah" ask her if she wants to go get a job and help out but don't be a smart about it.. that will just cause a fight. tell her that theres so many people in this world that would kill for i life like you give her and she should appreciate it rather than complain about the little things like cooking and cleaning..
good luck, hopefully this helps
2007-06-28 12:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by Alicia B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A big laps in judgment on your part. You didn't give enough time to know her as a whole person. So you volunteered to be mooched. What did you really have in mind? Want someone to put your house in order and give you love? Looks like she doesn't want the job.
I suggest you cut things back instead of offering more. You can get her and her kids out and be a mentor of the kids if you really want. But be ready that she will hold them hostage against you.
2007-06-28 12:22:28 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your relationship may be out of love and concern on your part but it sounds as if it is a temporary fix for her that has worked out quite nicely and is one of convenience (sp?) for her.
She is using you, which is a clear sign of someone only interested in themselves and their own needs.
You can still be a strong force in her children's lives if you so choose to be, sans the current living arrangement and if she uses them as pawns to get her way when you redefine your relationship then you will know who she truly is.
You deserve more than this and I know you know it. There are loving beautiful women out there that will respect you and honor you and love you for who you are and will appreciate all you do. Redirect your efforts into a worthy woman and love this current nags children from a safe, very long distance... time will not fix this and her using you will elevate to new levels. Her nagging will increase and your misery will increase with it. IF you see yourself bitter and resentful in your golden years, by all means keep killing yourself trying to meet the demands of this shrew...if you see yourself loved and happy...get out now. She cannot break your spirit unless you give her permission. You can always love her children and be there for them emotionally and spiritually...from a distance... but this financial and emotional arrangement will gray you well before your time...should you be lucky enough to live that long.
My advice...keep the two jobs and kick out your leeches..er, houseguests and get your life back. Cut off all financial support (this will be the hard part for you since she has found her a sucker and manipulated you quite well and got you emotionally involved.) When you do this she will show you who she really is and when you see it- believe it.
Love does not show itself like this. Her behavior and actions are not one of a mate but of a con artist in full swing.
You deserve better than this and if you believe you do you will do the right thing and save yourself.
Good Luck!
2007-06-28 12:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by ChristiW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you doing? How can you entrench yourself in people's lives like that without even knowing them that well? The kids may have become a big part of your life, but do you see yourself with this woman and her attitude as being for the rest of your life?
I think you got yourself in over your head, and if you want out it will be messy. Has to be done though if you don't want be in it anymore.
2007-06-28 12:16:43 · answer #5 · answered by btpage0630 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write her a letter and be honest with her. Ask her to take a look at what all you have done for her within the year, and then have her take a look at what all she has done. Tell her that you need her to have a more positive attitude because her negativity is bringing you down. Make sure you tell her that you do love her but that you guys have some issues that you need to work on.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-06-28 12:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by mrshouck2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should realize that being a Knight in Shining Armor is not always a good thing.
This woman seems to be very greedy, because she is taking everything you are giving her and is expecting more.
In all truth its up to her to make herself happy and if you try to make her happy you will fail. Happiness is a choice will all make to accept what we have and not long for what we don't have.
I would tell the woman you care for her, until she is ready to be happy you think she should live on her own.
2007-06-28 13:05:29 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with her, ask her what her expectations are with your relationship and tell her what you expect. If both of you expectations matched then work it out as best as possible. If your expectations don't matched, work out a solution even if it means her and her kids getting out. Sorry, but if you continue without having the same expectations, a breakup is inevitable and will be more painful later on.
2007-06-28 12:24:56 · answer #8 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a deal she found in you... youre a walking atm machine and youre one of a very few men whod be crazy enough to take on another mans three kids... and then you have to endure listening to her bit$hing about having to do her usual womens work, ie cleaning, washing, taking care of HER kids.. you deal with this??? the sex must be really good.. not good enough for me though to deal with all that... becareful. if you decide to leave or she catches on to it, there might be a fourth kid coming....id be reluctant to leave a walking atm machine too...
2007-06-28 12:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of her she'll gonna be abig problem to you.. i mean your not married to her just look for another love. love is everywhere sometimes its beside you but you've taken it for granted. all of us has a destiny to be with someone just wait and it will come to you . don't hurry up to settle down ;cause maybe it is not love it's only infatuation or only you love her physically but not in your heart. go by your heart it will last long..CHEERS
2007-06-28 12:27:04 · answer #10 · answered by ELLENDALE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋