My best friend is married she and her husband have been split up for a little over a year. Since about Jan 07, she has been seeing a man off and on, her husband has been seeing someone off and on since about March 07.
Her and hubby have been talking recently and wanting to work their marriage out. How do they tell the "others" that they want to fix things?
Any suggestions???
Yes, the "others" know that they are married. My best friend knows that she made a mistake by leaving, and that she still loves her husband as much as she did the day she married him. As he does her.
They want to work to make it last, they are young she is almost 29 and he is 32, and they have some great kids.
2007-06-28 05:05:18 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Chicago --- Let me tell you this, that I know for a fact that they are not sleeping around. There is a difference in seeing someone and sleeping with someone. Do you only know how to give smartass answers, when someone is really asking for advice on how to save a marriage that they want and not leave anyone not understanding.
2007-06-28 05:13:57 · update #1
If these "others" are from work well, then they must transfer out or seek another job. The last thing you want to do is to be any where around these others. Of course they have to be told that it's over and that your friends are working on saving their marriage and family and they have to be firm on that because the opposers may give them a hard time about leaving which makes it all that more difficult. Church may help, they need a good foundation on which to build their family on, good morals, integrity and good believe system. They might even consider therapy to find out why they strayed and to see the signs if they come up again and how to deal with it. Or how to deal with bottled up anger or resentment, there are a host of issues that can be addressed and resolved. I think Therapy is a blessing for everyone. You learn so much about yourself and your strengths and how to deal with things you thought you couldn't deal with.
2007-06-28 05:21:58 · answer #1 · answered by Becky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i went through the same thing......my husband left me right after my son was born, we were divorcing.....we were already seperated for 9 months when i started dating a guy that could have been serious, i signed the divorce papers and threw away my wedding dress and moved in with my parents...then my husband decided that he made a HUGE mistake and wanted to work things out and of course i did also, i was very devastated when he left me.......so the guy i was dating, i have known him forever, so i just told him straight up, that my husband wanted to work things out and i still love him and i want to work things out and my son really needed his dad, i think he was hurt but he handled it like a man and stepped aside.
2007-06-28 12:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Straight upfront honesty will be your best bet in the end. Tell them to tell the "others".....
::Listen, you know I am married right? Well him and I have been talking and we want to try to work things out. We're gonna attend counseling and what not to work on our marriage. I am sorry that you are being hurt in all of this but it's not like I hid my marriage from you in the first place.::
Hope it helps!
2007-06-28 12:12:51 · answer #3 · answered by mrshouck2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They open their mouths and say, "I'm going to fix my marriage." What else is there to say? To leave the "others" any hope is to doom their reconciliation from the start?
Good for them for working on this. Once there are kids, you're going to have to work with the other parent, whether you're married to him or not. And, married people are often more pleasant than divorced people.
2007-06-28 12:09:34 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They just tell them that they want 2 give their marriage another chance. Being that they know that they r seeing married people who aren't divorced they should realize that this could happen. Mayb the married couple could hook the two that r going 2 b left of up, then everyone would b happy.
2007-06-28 12:09:24 · answer #5 · answered by Misty D 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They are NOT young by any means..they are supposed to be fully adults. Stay out of this, for you will get burned big time. This is none of your business. They each know how to end the mess they have..a simple, "my husband/wife and I are going to get it back together" will do just fine.
Wish them luck and tell them that you are no longer in the shrink business. You will be much happier, and surely there is more to do than play go between with this pair. Good luck and peace.
2007-06-28 12:10:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think a direct statement would work best like, "My husband and I have decided to try and work things out. It was nice seeing you, but I need to focus on my marriage now."
2007-06-28 12:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What other way is there to tell them than to tell them? I suppose they could create some elaborate lie, but that's a little cowardly, yes?
"My wife/husband and I have decided to try to work out our differences and not date other people any longer."
Is there another way to say that? No.
2007-06-28 12:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They need to either **** or get off the pot. Sorry to be so blunt but they are basically having affairs because they are still technically MARRIED! I can't believe people forget so easily the vows they took on their wedding day. It's outrageous! They need to ditch their affairs. They owe it to each other. Obviously, their marriage comes FIRST.
2007-06-28 12:10:28 · answer #9 · answered by boogers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easy. They need to call up their now bf/gf and tell them point blank that they are getting back with their spouse. No need to drag it out and look for the right words. There aren't any. Just do it and be done.
2007-06-28 12:10:02 · answer #10 · answered by Bobby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋