Need some help letting go?

Question

there is a person that i need some help letting go. she was once one of my best friends but then walked away from the friendship for a boyfriend and left lies in her wake. What she did to me was pretty crappy, but she didn't realize that she was hurting me and thought that everything was fine until I told her that it wasn't. But that's enough of what happened. I still think about her every day because of what she meant to me and the close friendship that we once shared. The thoughts are angry or sad or just that I'm fed up with thinking about her and want to get her out of my thoughts like she is gone from my life. I'm looking for suggestions on how to fully move on and let go of her, like i'm sure she has done. I know that time is the best cure but it's been 3 months so I'm a little worried. I've printed out some stuff that i've found on the internet and am going to spend an afternoon going though it. but If you have anything to add please do. thanks

Answer 1

I am not one who totally believes that time heals all wounds, especially when it comes to betryal, deceit and lies. It takes time to heal, I can see why you worry because it has been three months, but each broken heart and spirit heals in it's own time. Don't believe it when people say "It's been 3 months you should be over it, get on with it." That may not be the way it happens in your case. It wasn't in mine. I found the best way to "get over it" is concentrate on myself. Starting with loving myself, realizing I am not a person who deserves to be lied to or betrayed, I deserve and will have better than that in my life. Every day do something positive for yourself, something that puts a smile on your face and in your soul. It's hard at first, but make yourself do it, this is your life afterall. You are in control in this situation, you are in control of what you do, those thoughts may seem out of control but they aren't. Put yourself first, love, honor and respect yourself. Be open to what life has in store for you. For me, the more I allowed the thoughts of anger, betrayal and hurt take over the more I realized I was letting so many good things go by me. Even simple things like seeing a baby laugh or watching a bird or seeing the beautiful different shades of green in nature. When I started paying attention to those things I found the negative thoughts more and more leaving my mind. It doesn't happen naturally you have to work at it and don't be brought down by those who say get over it. I promise you will, just in your own time and in your own way.

Answer 2

I think you should approach her again. Its important that you give yourself the closure that you lack. Closure not necessarily on the friendship but more so on the falling out. You shouldn't mince words and feel that you might be over reacting. This "relationship" meant alto to you. There's no room for false pride. Be true to yourself. Also don't look at it as a bad thing. Look at it as something that happened and is testing your relationship. If you have faith that every things going to be OK then it will be. Think positive. Sort it out in your head for what it was, what it is and what you hope it will be and have faith that what's going to happen is good nonetheless. Granted I know that's no consolation here and now. Hope it goes well.

Answer 3

They say time will heal all wounds - in most cases a very long time. I think you feel angry and need to get things resolved, however because you want to doesnt mean that she will respond now. Go through the motions of anger, sadness etc. Write about what you feel - keep it or burn it. You are only human and you will go through all the range of emotions. Try to do something new - a hobby, take a trip, a play something outside the norm for you. You will get there in time

Answer 4

The more you try and forget about her, the more you will think about her. Try and focus on important things in your life whether it be school, work, etc. Spend times with those you care about and trust me that enough time will pass that you won't feel as crappy as you do right now. Stay social

Answer 5

Time...only time will help you with this...

And when you find yourself thinking of her and the friendship, you must also face the fact that what you mentioned first was that she left a trail of lies in her wake...

Answer 6

David's right on the money. Grieve if you feel you must, then pick up and move on. Find something else to focus on. You'll feel better for it.