i am a stay at home mom. i spend all day with my 21 month and 3 month old. Recently a friend said that since my husband handles the night feeding...i am a slacker "bad" mom! just wanted everyone else's opion?!
2007-06-28 04:34:14 · 27 answers · asked by lsugirl0002 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Uhhh...nooooo...if you had to get up every night all night for feedings, you would be a tired mother...the kind that gets depressed and drives her minivan into a lake. Tell your friend that your husband enjoys the special time with the baby and likes to be the one to do the night feedings. He probably(on some level) really does...or he would'nt do it. He's a keeper!
2007-06-28 04:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by monica t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY NOT!! You need help. You are only human. My husband always took the 5 am feedings so I could get a bigger stretch of sleep. He also always got up and changed the baby and brought her/him to me for the other feedings when I was breastfeeding. We tag teamed when they switched to bottle feeding--he would get up and change the diaper while I got the bottle ready and I would feed while he went back to bed, except for the 5am feeding which he would also feed and I would go back to bed. Your husband is considerate and a good father. You are not a bad mother. Why shouldn't he participate in the care of your baby. Why should you have to assume 100% of responsibility for your child's care. I'm sure your husband views this as a special time for just baby and dad to bond and cuddle. If your husband is okay w/ the situation, then you don't change a thing.
Tell your friend to mind her own business!!
2007-06-28 04:41:59 · answer #2 · answered by bnc3123 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not being a bad Mom, not at all! If anything, you're being a GOOD Mom! My husband and I look at it this way- he goes to work for 8 hours at school (he's a teacher), and I work at home for 8 hours raising our daughter. His job might pay the bills, but my job is actually much more important, because I take care of our beloved daughter. I need to be just as rested and ready for work as he does, so he was often with our daughter when she was first born. Like the poster above said, my hubby didn't have the "equipment" to feed her, but he certainly comforted her and got her back to sleep, changed her, etc. after feedings while I went back to sleep. Then when we are both home, we are both equal parents to our daughter. Your 'friend' is jealous. It only gets worse with 'friends' like that, too, they'll compare your child to others till the cows come home, too. Especially with two kids 18 months apart, you need rest, and a break, whenever you can get it. I'll have kids 18 months apart when our son-to-be is born in August, and you'd better believe I'm making rest as much of a priority as I can, especially at the beginning. Good luck~
2007-06-28 04:45:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that makes a bad mother at all. If your husband offers to do the night feedings he should be allowed to!!!! He is away from your baby every day and should have some time with your child!
But.. if it could effect his job with a lack of sleep than maybe you should switch on and off for your husbands health, but I definately don't think this has anything to do with mothering! No one WANTS to do middle of the night feedings which is why we train our children to sleep through the night! Tell that person if you are a bad mom for not getting up in the middle of the night you expect her to continue waking her kid up every night in the middle of the night to do the night feeding even after her kid sleeps through the night!!!!!
2007-06-28 04:43:37 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's only fair.
you fed that child continuously for 9 months now it's his time! I think it's only fair that you get some decent sleep. However since you're the stay at home one your husband must work so I think you should take turns with the night feedings since he needs sleep just as much as you do and you can take a nap during the day when the baby is.
I think it needs to be fair game for each- take turns and make sure both parents are okay and happy with the way it's going.
as for a bad mom- is your child sitting in a dirty diaper all day? does your child have bumps and bruises because you weren't watching it and it got hurt? does your child cry and cry because you don't feed it?
People will call the best mother a bad mother just because they are an angry person with a low intelligence and is a bad mother themselves likely.
I wouldn't call you a bad mother- having a child changes everything and that means less sleep for both parents. etc.
2007-06-28 04:42:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
your not a slacker. Not much of friend if you ask me. My husband and i tried off the frist three months of my daughters life. YOu have your hands full all day , ithink its great your husband is willing to do night duty so you can get a little extra sleep. You are a good mom and far from a slacker.
2007-06-28 05:43:57 · answer #6 · answered by Cassie V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not bad at all. Don't think what others say. They just need a reason to talk. I am sure your husband likes doing what he does and that should not be anyone elses business.
Take care. I am sure your are doing good. Handling two kids is not easy. I get tired of handling my 10 month old.
2007-06-28 04:41:34 · answer #7 · answered by lalala 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is up to what ever works best for your family. Me personally I use to be a stay at home mom and while I did not work outside of the house I woke up with the baby because my husband had to go to work and then on the weekends when he was off he would wake up with them know we both work out of the house but the kids normally don't get up because they are bigger know but if they do we take turns. It seems to work for us. You just have to see what works for you.
2007-06-28 04:38:47 · answer #8 · answered by skyler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!! You're a good wife is what you are! You have gotten your husband to the point where he is willing to feed the children at night, and that's a good thing. He's a good dad, but you're not a bad mom!
2007-06-28 04:42:44 · answer #9 · answered by Emily A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your "friend" is jealous of your lovely husband!
Ignore her - what a catty thing to say! Your husband is simply helping out with his family and that is very admirable. This also actually makes you a fantastic mother, because your husband is having important bonding time with your babies, which is great for both of them, and you are having important rest time which is great for all of you - a tired mummy is an unhappy mummy!
2007-06-28 04:46:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋