He hasn't told me that, but I can tell. She is beautiful! He has never never done anything to make me worry. I am just insecure sometimes. I worry that he secretly is lusting after her..I don't know why, because he honestly hasn't given me a reason..I know he thinks she is beautiful...but he is always telling me how much he loves me! Am I just being an idiot?
2007-06-28 04:24:31 · 38 answers · asked by JCW 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yep
2007-06-28 04:27:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jacob 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well...
does he stare at her or get a look in his eyes like he just went brain dead? Does he make special efforts to talk to her, especially when he's been drinking? Does he look excited when he hears that she is coming over?
You know what i mean...you know if he is lusting after her because if he is you can tell.
I don't think you should be concerned if he finds her beautiful, he's not blind, right? but I think you should be concerned if he does the things I asked above because then he is not being a gentleman but a pig.
I'm sure he does love you. That doesn't mean that he isn't lusting after her.
The reason I am saying this stuff is because you said that you can tell he thinks she is beautiful. That means that he stares too much at her, or smiles too much at her, or something along those lines, unless it is completely in your imagination because YOU think she is beautiful.
Tell him to knock it off and stop staring, if he does.
Don't listen to these people that tell you that you are an insecure idiot, his staring made you feel insecure, not your insecurity made him stare! lol
2007-06-28 05:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being silly. If he's going to cheat, nothing you can do to stop it. So, if he's a good guy, and there's really no reason, let it go. I have been married a LONG time. I have a girlfriend who is a little younger, beautiful, and yes, a nice person! I know my husband is attracted to her and always has been, but I can't blame him! Hell, if I were into women, I'd be with her! Like I said, she's just as beautiful in the inside, down to earth, honest. But do I think he would cheat on me? with her or anyone else? NO! So, I let it go. Seems really insane to punish him for something he hasn't done, doesn't it? Besides. he has had to endure years of other men flirting with me, and never have we argued about it...because he knows I would never cheat on him.
2007-06-28 04:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by N0_white_flag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not an idiot at all, just insecure. Since you are aware of your insecurity, it is natural for you to feel this way. But you say he tells you he loves you and I bet he really does. He may think she is beautiful, but that doesn't mean he's lusting after her. Even if he is, it doesn't matter as long as they don't get together. Also, he could be lusting after other women too who aren't your best friend. How would you ever know? Trust that he loves you.
2007-06-28 04:30:30 · answer #4 · answered by makeloans2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No sweetie, you are not an idiot. Those fools that said you were, are the idiots. You are being a bit insecure, but nothing is wrong with that as long as you're not letting your insecurities bring you to a point that you're worried about it all the time. It's natural, I don't care what any other woman says. We all, at one pooint or another, wonder about our boyfriends/husbands' finding other women attrative. As another person stated, if he has never given you reason not to trust him, there's no need to worry about it. He love YOU. He married YOU, not you bestfriend. On the other hand, if he has given you reason to question his interest in her, I suggest you make sure you NEVER leave them 2 alone. Sounds to me though like you have nothing to worry about. He loves you girl and she's your bestfriend. I would like to hope that they wouldn't do anything behind your back. You'll be alright!
2007-06-28 04:37:29 · answer #5 · answered by hartbreaker00003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, you're worrying WAY too much. If he's never given you a reason to worry, don't! If you keep on doing it, you're going to end up pushing him away. He wouldn't be human if he didn't think other women were beautiful, just like something would be wrong with you if you couldn't see that another man is good looking. But that doesn't mean you're going to cheat does it? I didn't think so. You know how much he loves you so just relax and enjoy being married to a great guy.
2007-06-28 04:32:14 · answer #6 · answered by tandtfowkes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was you I'd listen to Chocolate mommy and Blunt. While your man is probably very trust worthy and loves you lots, it is wise to distance your family from this "beautiful woman" who is your friend. Think of if as a survival technic. Your instincts are telling you something. Maybe there is no problem now but the future might be different. Even if you feel that you are being just paranoid---remember----just because you are paranoid doesn't mean that no one is after you or yours! Protect your family. Good Luck.
2007-06-28 04:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by Praire Crone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being insecure. I know when I go to an art museum I enjoy looking at beautiful art. Nothing wrong with that. Your husbands appreciation of her beauty has nothing to do with you. You are making a problem where there is none.
Men lust, women lust. It's no big deal. When they start talking about it to hurt you or actually doing something about it, then you do have a problem. Quit borrowing trouble.
2007-06-28 04:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all recognize a good looking person of the opposite sex whether we are male or female but that does not mean we want to have sex with them especially if we are in a loving relationship..To love someone is more than their physical appearance..he loves you for the whole person you are but if you can not get passed this then you should talk to him about it because there will always be beautiful women around and it is not fair on your hubby if you are always thinking he wants them. You have to let him know of your feelings so he can reassure you and you can stop hurting yourself..You are lucky to have a hubby who loves YOU.. Do not punish him for something you have created in your mind.
2007-06-28 04:44:27 · answer #9 · answered by tysbev4ever 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not an idiot. All emotions are justified. However, when you got married, or earlier, I'm hoping your relationship was based on trust. All men, including me, appreciate a beautiful woman. But remember that YOU are beautiful, too, and as long as he says he loves you, and you have no reason to doubt him, I don't see a problem. Just chill a bit and keep loving him back.
2007-06-28 04:35:40 · answer #10 · answered by Mad Irishman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone of us has some insecurity within us. I still cannot believe she chose me, she could have had anyone she wanted..but as she says, "I got the one I wanted." So, put your fear behind you and love him as much as he loves you. Don't make an issue of it, in fact, try talking to him about it. You might learn some new ideas of your own, (she grew her hair longer because I commented on my liking long hair for example) as he will learn from your opinions ( I shaved my beard and left it off because she prefers it). My wife and I talk about it all the time (well, not ALL the time) but knowing what she finds attractive has helped me in more than one way. But trust has never been an issue, it's just an opinion and we both know despite expressing that opinion, she comes home to me, and I come home to her. Always.
2007-06-28 04:34:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋