"I miss you" was all it said. I wasn't trying to get back together, I was just how I felt. Was that a mistake? Is it foolish to try to be 'just friends' after all we went through together?
2007-06-28 03:50:09 · 39 answers · asked by megalomaniac 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There was no reply.
2007-06-28 03:56:23 · update #1
I have found that when "...it's over..." for women...it is OVER. The door is closed, locked and hermtically sealed. They NEVER open it up again (unless they love the attention and the joy of watching us suffer.) Men, on the other hand, will continue to open the fridge, even tho' they drank the last beer an hour ago!
I've also offered to be friendly to my ex-wife, but she refuses. That allows her to continue to enjoy the blamelessness of victimhood. But that's a different pathology.
2007-06-28 03:58:17 · answer #1 · answered by crsnhb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through the same thing. When you've been with someone for so many years, it is not unusual to miss that person. It's hard to be alone and you loved her...just because she's an ex now does not make being without her any easier. You don't mention how long you were together or how long you've been apart, but I was with my husband 17 years and we've been 'separated' for the past 2 years. While I still love him, I am not IN LOVE with him. I suspect you probably feel the same way. There are days that I really miss him, but most days I don't; at first, I did miss him a LOT. It takes time to heal and move forward, give yourself that time. Meanwhile, don't get so sentimental that it clouds your judgment. When we are away from the situation for a while, we start remembering the good and forget the reasons it didn't work. Let her know you care and miss her if you want, don't tell her that you love her. That may lead to more and with someone that was so close to you at one time, it's easy to fall back into that. Remember, there's a reason you divorced. Give yourself some time to heal.
2007-06-28 04:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by pintobns 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If neither party has any interest in resuming a relationship (and are being honest with themselves about that) and would have no problem seeing the ex with another partner or even remarried then I see no problem in being friends. I do, however, think that some time should pass before that could happen. Are you sure you weren't trying to get back together? Seems like you're spending a lot of time thinking about it. And on her part, I'm sure she saw it as an attempt at reconciliation. Do yourself a favor and break away... move on and build a new life.
2007-06-28 03:55:04 · answer #3 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was only a mistake if you "regret" sending it.
I don't think it's foolish to try to be "just friends", but I do think it's not a do-able thing.
Atleast right now, because if you are missing her, you will want it to become more than just friends.
I think once you get past all the love, hurt, anger, then you can become friends.
But personally that took years for me.
Be careful because sometimes when people are saying (including you) they just want to be friends, secretly in their hearts they are hoping that friendship will lead to more.
Make sure that's not what you are feeling.
Sounds to me like it is.
I might be wrong it has happened once or twice :)
2007-06-28 03:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her attitude depend on the situation rather ur break up is in a peaceful atmosphere or u or she had done some thing bad with each other.if u r feeling gility and u want her back in ur life then u must think that before the break-up.it is useless to say i miss u at this stage ´cause she is no more ur life patner.its very hard to turn ur ex-life patner as a friend because u always rember ur past and u both feel uncomfortable infront of each other . i think so its better to stay away from her..
2007-06-28 04:03:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she isn't foolish, she won't try to get back with you (especially after the doubtlessly excruciating divorce). It seems that you're aware that it would not be a good idea to get together with her again, since it didn't work the last time.
There are instances where ex-couples became friends, however that depends on how far you want to take it and how far she is willing to go.
Just sometimes, I think one has to be cruel to be kind...
2007-06-28 03:56:32 · answer #6 · answered by Jac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I miss you" in a woman's mind can be interpreted so many different ways. And emails can sometimes not be interpreted the way you hope.
Since I don't know why you got divorce it's hard to say if you have a future together as friends. Provided you weren't a real creep to her, you should call her and just tell her that you'd like to remain friends since you've shared so much together.
2007-06-28 03:54:30 · answer #7 · answered by jellybean 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/WNph1
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-29 13:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by faith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You finally found time to make it short!
The 'I miss you' was well intended but could easily be misconstrued. Maybe a little follow up for clarification unless you really just wanted to tell her that without expecting a responce. Not a mistake to hope and try for friendship. Never. Hope she's willing.
2007-06-28 05:17:29 · answer #9 · answered by irisheyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a woman if my ex wrote "I miss you" to me I would feel like he was looking for hope and unless I wanted to get back together I wouldn't write back.
My guess is she doesn't want to give you false hope. Obviously, at least for now she wants you to leave her alone it probably made her uncomfortable. If she wants to contact you she now knows she can.
Don't try to contact her again. Especially with words that actually put pressure on her like "I miss you"
2007-06-28 04:00:14 · answer #10 · answered by Cricket 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋